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oncesilentflame

40 M Vancouver, British Columbia, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:26am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Technology
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay), C++ (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I'm attracted to sincerity, kindness, curiosity, openness and humour. I'm a pretty irreverent guy and I'll absolutely say what's on my mind, so if you have a super-serious mindset or are easily offended, you might not enjoy my company. I also don't want you to mute or moderate yourself on my account.

I've been told I come off as quite a bit younger than I am. I have a lot of childlike tendencies, in that I love to play, explore, and goof around, though I like to think that I'm not childish, if you understand the difference.

Things and people others find lovely I might not find so. I can find unconventional things very beautiful, and other people’s imperfections or quirks are often more interesting and endearing to me than their traditional beauty.

According to the Meyers-Brigg archetypes I'm an INFJ, and from what I've read, it's bang on.
What I’m doing with my life
I’m a single dad to a fantastic 14-year-old, so I spend a lot of my time with her. Raising a truly good, healthy, and intelligent kid is the both the hardest thing I have ever done and the most rewarding. I’m not looking for a replacement mom, but if we get close she’ll be part of your life, so if you don’t like kids I bid you farewell and good luck. One caution -- though I love kids, I'm not ready for another child right now. This has been a concern with some women I've seen, so if you have a ticking biological clock, I encourage you to move on.

Working on bettering myself, one thing at a time. Introspection is hugely important to me. Learning to swim to overcome early childhood trauma. (edit: which is AWESOME, I love swimming!)

Making games, which is complex, challenging, and endlessly interesting.

Recently, running regularly. Running in the rain is surprisingly awesome.

Redditing. *cough*

Obsessing over how and when I can visit Paris again...
I’m really good at
Cooking. I cook all the time, all sorts of cuisine, and I can get very passionate about it. It’s relaxing, creative, tactile, and I so easily slip into a Zen-like groove doing it. Cooking for someone else is my favourite, especially if they help do the dishes, which I loathe…

Baking, apparently. Although I've only recently gotten into it, I've had comments like "best f@*king brownies ever" and ye dubious "REDACTED DUE TO TERRIBLE PROSE". I make unreal chocolate chip-toffee cookies.

Listening. Like really listening, not just waiting to talk. I’m a sort of thoughtful person, and it’s great to have someone that likes to talk. I’ve been told I give good advice and that I’m very non-judgmental.

Figuring things out. I’ve been taking things apart and putting them back together since I was a kid. Need an Ikea shelf built? I’ll knock that out no sweat, just ply me with beer. It’s hugely important in my job to be a good problem-solver.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don’t really ask, but I’d imagine that it’s that I make direct eye contact. I’m not really shy that way. I smile and laugh a lot. Probably my Fabio-esque mane of flowing golden hair.

Apparently I don't look my age. I certainly don't act it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
If I put everything I liked here, it would dwarf the rest of the profile. I love to read, I love movies, I love music, and I love food. I absorb all information and media like a black hole, I'll try anything once, and am very open-minded. Oh, except Twilight. That's terrible.

Books: Dune, Lord of the Rings, Raymond Feist, Tad Williams, David Eggers, Kurt Vonnegut, e.e.cummings, J.D. Salinger, Game of Thrones (and the show), anything philosophical or introspective or thought-provoking. I always have a queue of books to read.

Movies/TV: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Princess Bride, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, any Pixar, Iron Giant, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, Office Space, Goonies, Knocked Up, Superbad, Amelie, Blade Runner, Hot Fuzz, Inception, The Fountain, Kung Fu Hustle, The Holy Grail, all Terry Gilliam, all Christopher Nolan, Venture Brothers, Firefly, Arrested Development, Metalocalypse. Good sci-fi, bad sci-fi, kung fu flicks, spaghetti westerns, you name it, I’ll watch it.

Music: Stuff on my iPhone right now: Adele, Band of Skulls, Beastie Boys, Bjork, Bon Iver, Broken Bells, David Bowie, Death Cab For Cutie, Decemberists, Elastica, Feist, Jane's Addiction, Janelle Monae, The Killers, Massive Attack, Metric, Modest Mouse, Mother Mother, Muse, Nirvana, OK Go, Paolo Nutini, Patrick Watson, Phoenix, The Pixies, Radiohead, RHCP, The Shins, Spoon, Stars, The Stills, The Strokes, Vampire Weekend, White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Music is critical to my well-being, and I’m nearly always listening to something. Fave sexytime music: Mezzanine by Massive Attack.

Food: All asian, curry, mexican, spicy foods, awesome burgers. Fine dining, burger bars, holes in the wall, corner cafes, sultry holes. I love finding new amazing eateries and discovering a new one with someone is pretty much the best thing ever. What started me cooking long ago was a transcendental Thai food experience.
The six things I could never do without
I’m going to skip the obvious and trite stuff like air, water, food, computer, and use this to describe things that have real meaning to me. You’ll find out what the sixth thing is if you get to know me well.

• My daughter. Lovely, amazing, a delight and a treasure. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her.

• Love. Really, truly, giving for the sake of giving, caring because it makes your heart feel full to share such that you just want to give and give. Not the trite Hollywood illusion or the jealous clutch of need but the kind of love where you can just hold someone and every care falls away and time seems to stop. Or even just doing something nice for someone because it makes them smile.

• Humour. Belly laughs, dry wit, incapacitating laughter that makes you cry, unexpected snorts, sly chuckles, gleefully inappropriate shock, raucous shrieks. George Carlin, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Dave Chapelle, Richard Pryor, SCTV, Kids in the Hall, Monty Python.

• Discovery. I have a fundamental craving for finding new things, for exploration, long walks in dark places, foreign lands and languages. New authors, new musicians, new places, people, thoughts, expressions. I am heinously curious.

• Activity. I need to move, to walk, run, bike, anything. If I don’t get some type of daily activity I feel sluggish and lessened.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How we’re boxed in our daily lives in ways that make nearly everyone unhappy. Unreasonable expectations to make us insecure, shallow thoughts to keep us from wondering, subtle pressures to keep up with arbitrary standards, archaic gender roles that create unsatisfying relationships and push people to stifle what they might otherwise express.

How ridiculously amazing our world actually is and how little people really appreciate it.

How goddamn pretentious I sound as I read back over what I just wrote.

Mind-blowing stuff like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6w2M50_Xdk

All the hot stuff other guys think about. I may be a relatively nice guy, but I’m not at all sanitized.
On a typical Friday night I am
Watching movies, going out for dinner, making a meal at a friend’s place, or playing board games or Rock Band. Catching up on my reading or watching a TV show I’ve downloaded. It depends on how intense the week has been and what my friends are up to.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don’t like the car culture, and I don't drive. I’m glad I can walk and transit to work so easily.

Though I've had a challenging life, I don't really have any secrets. I'm pretty open to talking about anything. But maybe not all at once or on a first date.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You’re a girl with a bit of cheek, a splash of wit, and a big heart. Open, honest, creative, unconventional. You practice what you preach and operate under a "minimize suffering" basis like me. Possibly nerdy, definitely awesome. I'm looking for someone to fight beside me when the zombie apocalypse hits, not a princess to save.

It doesn't matter to me what your job, income, or level of education are, as long as you're fine with them. I am not interested in a high-maintenance glamour girl or someone who is hugely materialistic. I would be perfectly happy with a relatively average girl who takes reasonable care of herself. A genuine eye-crinkling smile melts me.

I love to get out and do things on dates, but am not necessarily particular about what -- it's more about who you're with than what you do. And while I'm not a prude by any means, my relationship progression goes Friend first, Sexytime second. I won't go to bed with you if I don't like you. The time for that transition depends entirely on our connection.

I like to think I’m pretty unique, but I’m sure everyone thinks that of themselves. If anything in my profile caught your eye, I’d love to hear from you, but please, more than just saying hello. I love a good discussion!

In essence, to quote Dr. Seuss: "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."