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onimelman

27 Kingston, Ontario, CA Man

Man

You might like

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–34
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 6:56am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Fit
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Management
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Hebrew (Poorly), French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I always try to write with a "less is more" style, and I always fail. But since this is one of the few things that's actually supposed to be all about me... Here you go.

I'm a Toronto-raised 27-year-old Kingstonian (Kingstonite?) looking for people to enable my very worst vices and character flaws. If you're a fan of bad-decision travel, liver-killing drinking nights, or cooking food that is in no way good for you, we'll probably get along just fine. I drive an absurdly uncool beige-grey 1999 Camry with ugly roof racks on it. It's super dorky, and it gets all the sexy ladies. I usually holla at them as I drive past, and they can't help but chase me down on foot.

Guys and girls would both be awesome to chill with, but just so my fellow gents know: romantically and sexually, I'm really only interested in women. Believe me, I'm certain. We might have an awesome time hanging out, but I will insist that you not send me pictures of your man-meat. I'm firm on that. Ladies, feel free to hit me up, too! Actually, ladies especially. We could have all sorts of fun getting ourselves into trouble, and depending on how well we click, we might have a few more options available to us than if you were a guy.

I LIKE:
1) Taking off on road trips at the last minute
2) Getting drunk at karaoke night and making a shameless ass of myself in front of a LOT of people. Consistently.
3) Cooking food that's delicious but incredibly bad for your long-term life plans. Also, cooking new and uncommon things.
4) Hanging around and procrastinating on reddit instead of finally organizing my apartment.
5) Blues, soul, classic rock.

I DISLIKE:
1) Routine
2) Spending time with people who are uninteresting or bigoted.
3) Alternative medicine. Don't expect it to make sense, but it's my biggest pet peeve. If you believe this means I have a bad aura, trust me: we really wouldn't get along anyway.
4) If you're an axe murderer, or dismemberer of any sort really, you're very much not my type.

So hit me up! I've been told I'm at least somewhat fun. Oh, and I have tons of respect for bitches.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
(To be updated over the next few days when i get around to it.)

Since there's no non-douchey way to say this, I'll just get it out of the way. I'm preparing to launch my first company this February, and I'm super excited about it. However, I've got literally everything that I own invested in the venture, so I expect to spend the next little while very, deeply, comically poor. If you want a man who can take you to nice restaurants a lot and buy you awesome things, trust: that man is not me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
That's-what-she-said quips.

Shakespeare elevated puns to mastery; I'm hanging my hat on this.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hubris.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books?
1) Anything by pre-derangement Hunter S Thompson,
2) David Foster Wallace. ALL his non-fiction; only his non-fiction.
3) ASOIF, total guilty pleasure.
4) Joseph Conrad every few years, when I really feel like getting broody.
5) F.Scott.
6) Twilight Saga (The best of our generation's literature. This is our time.)

Music:
1) Clapton. Clapton is God.
2) Buddy Guy, B.B. King
3) Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi
4) The Allman Brothers' Band
5) Ruthie Foster.
6) Drum-soloing on my steering wheel in gridlock traffic.

Food:
1) This one you'll actually have to ask me yourself.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good drinks,
Good food,
Good sex,
Good travel,
Good jokes,
A good nap now and then.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
See above.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Getting down on Friday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I take the occasional side job as a model for a life drawing art group.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Yous a shorty wit sumtin 2 say. Even if you don't, really. Just ramble.

What I want in a woman:
1) Confidence. I love being around people who can keep my dumb shit in line.

2) Wit. If you have me laughing, I'm embarrassingly weak to your charms.

3) Good looks and good sexual chemistry. Look, this is okcupid. If we're not both equally attracted to each other, we may still have awesome times hanging out.

4) Ambitions. It could be corporate law or early childhood education, but I want to surround myself with people who plan to move forward and do something they love.

5) Weird. I'm as weird as they come. You should be too.

6) Musical talent or a great singing voice. I have neither of these things, which makes me a huge hypocrite for finding them incredibly attractive.