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36 Minneapolis, MN Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 11:48pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Atheism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've built a time machine. It doesn't work tho. I guess it doesn't really matter. Now is as good a time as any. Wouldn't be different anywhere else, and I wouldn't want it toooo. I'm a realist. I'm gonna bend it into some complex origami getting smaller and smaller, and paint it into a kaleidoscope corner burning at all ends well. Maybe a dragon or a unicorn? The walls struggle to breathe. They do and will continue in unison.. I meant to put only two periods..

Who wants to start a cult? We don't have to sacrifice anything. We'll just sit around talking about the weather and drinking coffee, go biking or hiking, take pics and get tattoos:) We'll have to have matching vests, that goes w/out saying. Wait, does that make it a gang? Maybe we can have a mascot like a raccoon, that'd make us a club? We'll get some walkie talkies too. What? Summary sounds like I'm done or something. What? Repeating myself. Like you didn't hear and said, what? Maybe I should add over-explaining things. I might say what? too. There I go again. I should start over, that wasn't as funny as I think I kno. Just rockin' it sounds better. I'm not deaf or anything, tho i can't imagine wearing earplugs. I will start rambling about nothing. For example...

I'm a ghost in a zombie.
I'm an alien and here to probe you? That was stupid:)
I've cloned a bunch of myselfs so I'm readily available at all times and locations for you.

Or maybe...
doing a lot of artwork and have been in a lot of shows. writing a lot and self-publishing books. I have a lot (is that too many a lots?) of tattoos and am always planning my next one. People tell me I have a unique take on it. I walk regularly. I think it's more meditative than running or biking. I collect records and like going to shows, tho I never think I see enough. I like playing cards w/ friends. It's kinda nice having a planned activity on a certain day. That can go for multiple things, but being spontaneous can be good too. Idk... Shoot away, I think it says I reply frequently? I guess it probably says that for every male on here.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to edit my okc profile to be shorter and get to the real me, but I keep adding things. I'm likeable, I promise. Trying to eat healthy, exercise, be outside, getting tattoos, being more informed about things, writing books. I currently have 11. I have some idea that I wanna start volunteering. I tried to donate blood recently, but couldn't because they couldn't find veins in my arms. Is that normal? Well I tried. That all sounds good right? ...and murder. Jk:) that would sound way funnier if I said it in person. I couldn't even kill a spider. They're too fascinating.

I recently had a broken foot, but it's basically healed now. It's nice to be able to walk distances and w/out a cane or crutches again. I'm currently thinking up ways to break it again. That was a joke, it'd be an accident:) It is strange how you can walk around for days and many miles and not kno your foot is broken. I'd expect to be immobile and in a ton of pain. That wasn't the case at all.

My earrings are currently stuck in my ears. I mean like really stuck, like I tried using multiple pliers to try to get them out. I'm trying to decide what to do about that. Or is it me that's stuck on the earrings? I guess it's not the worst thing, tho I can see reasons to be able to take them out. Maybe I should just become one w/ them?

My whole place smells like oil paint. It's ok, I like the smell.

I've went all rolling stones crazy since buying tix to their show. I've bought like 5 albums and a puzzle, and I already had some albums. I had never spent so much on tix, but I said screw it I need to see them.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Figuring out a logical order to some amount of chaos, talking myself into or out of things, being polite, staying calm under pressure, following thru on what i say i'm gonna do, making bad murder or death jokes. Or maybe I'm bad at making good murder or death jokes. It depends on the situation I guess.

Wait, I shoulda just said something like...
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That i'm giving the silent treatment to my imaginary vampire friend, i'm partially see-thru, tattoos that apparently might not be real but don't seem to ever wash off, smiling too close to walls, my lazy and closed third eyes in the back of my head?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books- my favorite book is perfume: the story of a murderer. I also really like fast food nation, and plastic: a toxic love story. Philip k. Dick's my favorite author. I like fairy tales- the brothers Grimm, Lewis Carroll, Aesop, Hans christian Andersen. Other authors I generally like- Oliver sacks, Neil degrasse Tyson, etgar keret, stephen king, William kotzwinkle, chuck klosterman, mary roach.

Movies directors: Quentin tarantino, robert rodriguez, Tim Burton, Alfred hitchcock, stanley kubrick, david lynch, rob zombie, Darren Aronofsky, danny boyle. Ghostbusters is my favorite movie. I think this new one they're gonna make is gonna be bad tho. I like the hellraiser movies. All of them. Well except the last, that doesn't count. It doesn't even have Doug Bradley. What else. Lately I've liked American Mary, Weekend at Bernie's, event horizon, repo man, blade runner, dead man, bringing out the dead, plan 9 from outer space, army of darkness, life aquatic (bill murray may be the best actor? he made my list twice, but should probably be more), uncle buck, office space, silence of the lambs, the dark knight, fear and loathing in las vegas (johnny depp makes the list twice too), shaun of the dead, night of the living dead, I guess I have a fondness for horror and/ or dark movies. Sometimes the cheesier the better:)

maybe i'll have to make a zombie movie w/ bill murray and johnny depp? they'll be brothers, but one is a zombie. maybe michelle rodriguez can be another sibling:) is that too much of an age difference? i guess it doesn't really matter. or maybe bill murray could be the dad who is a zombie. johnny depp and michelle rodriguez have to put him in a zombie home because they can't take care of him anymore. then a bunch of crying and arguing about money and not visiting enough. oh and some laughs along the way too. this practically writes itself. jk:) maybe there will be some wizards or sorceresses too. at least some mole people. and i'm not opposed to product placement/ endorsements. i'm thinking red bull, dodge and levi's? like all denim that is. and only some good dodges, a lot of like old dodge shadows. drinking red bull all the time obviously, on and w/ everything. we don't get a shoe deal so no one is ever wearing shoes for some reason. maybe at the end it's found out the zombie retirement home is corrupt and ran by evil cyborg aliens. it's found out the mom was a witch and that's why johnny and michelle aren't zombies. maybe the mom could be too young. like maybe we could license to use dora the explorer or something. not a person acting like her, i mean using the actual animated character. they use their good powers to fight the evil aliens. they're from the future too, but they don't like it or being cyborgs is why they're set on utter destruction. also in the future we have trouble getting rid of the zombies because they won't stay dead. we send them to an uninhabited planet, but intelligent life quickly evolves but also have problems w/ the zombies. that's why so many are cyborgs. they hear stories about a time w/out zombies tho it was never true. later one of the good guys gets pregnant by one of the bad ones also. we have to leave room for the sequel, and who knows what will happen then. perfect. wait that could be the title- "just perfect." then "even better" could be the sequel. man was all that unnecessary

TV- it's always sunny is like the best show. well it's up there. the addams family and the munsters are up there too. I used to really like tales from the crypt and still do. then futurama, bob's burgers, brooklyn nine nine, superjail, the tick, fringe, v the original miniseries (not the somewhat recent remake), married w/ children, I have some strange interest in the price is right also. I generally can't keep up w/ shows. I don't really like to have to watch shows one after another, I'd rather be able to watch a random episode from time to time.

Music- someone said something to the effect that ten percent to a genre's good. I think people label themselves too much to genres. Saying that I like- the cars, the kills, Hank 3, tricky, kid cudi, asteroids galaxy tour, portishead, pink floyd, aphex twin, nine inch nails, nirvana, jack white, the black belles, the beatles, depeche mode, deftones, michael jackson, guns n' roses, ministry, lacuna coil, in flames, janelle monae, lana del rey, rodrigo y gabriela, tv on the radio, cage the elephant, mastodon, queens of the stone age, buddy guy, early wu tang, the lonely island. I feel that wasn't as diverse as I was hyping it up to be:) oh well...

Food- cinnamon toast crunch is the best breakfast cereal. Idk why I felt the need to name drop there. as a last meal I'd do it party style, catered that is. Fruits and vegs, cheese and crackers, organic wine, maybe oktoberfest beer. Wait, coconut milk too.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Pen, keys, sunglasses, radio, magnets, incense. I'm pretty sure I don't need air:) I mean it's alright.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The numbers behind things, spiders, which me is which, the color black, starting sentences w/ the word "it"
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Helping old ladies cross streets, rescuing cats stuck in trees. Howling at the moon and chasing my tail? Jk, I don't have a tail I promise. Chasing tales may be more fitting. Time keeps speeding up, and I try to stop and smell the flowers. I tell myself that at least.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I sleep backwards in my bed. This makes more sense than it sounds w/ the layout of my bedroom:)

If I see treasure trolls somewhere, I'll probably buy them. I might start getting furbies too. I mean I have two, but I probably need more.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If lines cross, but don't have to. If nights tell shadows why not. If days are short and short all depends on perception of things that don't matter in the first place. If fragile eyes are about callous. It's always an if, and a yeah (probably not wrong).

Take all, everything I said and turn it inside out and that might be accurate. You won't ever come up w/ another me. Idk, I'll come up w/ something if you don't. That's what I do.