So I was going to write this very clever description of myself, but then I watched six episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm instead. So it goes. Here's the quick version: Sometimes I wish I were an artist. I don't go camping enough. I run a lot of marathons. I'd like to be a stand-up comedian at some point. I think I should be reading more biographies of historical figures so that people will be fooled into thinking I'm a legitimate intellectual. My favorite Muppet was Oscar the Grouch. Sometimes I wish I were a scientist. Most people think I'm a negative person, but they're wrong. I played for a year on a baseball team in England. I grew up without cable. Leaving my bicycle outside for the winter turned out to be a very bad mistake. I play drums but I'm not very good so I play loud instead (in fact, my second favorite Muppet was Animal). I considered using a semicolon in that last sentence. I irrationally enjoy very long airplane rides. I can't believe the Mets are getting rid of Shea Stadium. I really wish I could find all my old Legos.

Deciding I'd rather be a doctor than a lawyer.

Running long distances; collapsing on the floor after running long distances.

Jew fro or lack of Jew fro, depending on when my last haircut was.

(a) Catch-22; The World According to Garp; A Confederacy of Dunces; Slaughterhouse Five; A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

(b) Being John Malkovich; Memento; Capturing the Friedmans; The Squid and the Whale.

(c) Everything by They Might Be Giants; real rock and roll from the 1970s.

(d) These chicken parmesan calzones this one place in Massachusetts makes; vegetables. Gummiberry juice.

Running shoes, computer, books, baseball, math. And I guess a toothbrush.

Go for it.