I'm an asshole, though I'm recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. I won’t open doors for you, in fact be careful as I will likely trip you as you go through the door just to laugh. I expect you to take care of me, cook for me, massage me and clean up after me 24/7.
I leave my underwear laying around. Dirty ones.
I will not do laundry, or dishes and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert. Look forward to it like you a dentist looks foward to crooked teeth. I want you to enjoy it like an emo kid enjoys girl pants. I think you get the picture.
I'm sensitive, negative, unconfident, have extrodanarily low self esteem, not spontaneous, close minded, hate surprises, dont share, have no respect for anyone or anything, talk like a sailor, have poor manners, unlucky, unfunny, and am fugly. Im rude, have bad taste, dress like a bum, never shower. And am unambitious. I don't give gifts, don't go on dates, hate outside and think all animals suck balls. And I'm poor. I'm so poor I can't even afford to pay attention.
POF (Plenty of Fish) says that I should also talk about these four points so as I don’t waste my time and be successful here, so let me address each one:
1. Talk about your hobbies. – kicking puppies. Picking my nose. Play video games and never leave the house. Eating from the trash.
2. Talk about your goals/aspirations – finding a rich person to take care of me.
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique – I’m not unique in the least bit.
4. Your taste in music – the Beatles, pussycat dolls, Enya, and Owl City.

OK people, waiting for your emails…go

I'm naturally and artificially flavored.

I'm a computer technician. I want to save up and travel the world.

Photography. Art (As in drawing and painting.) Anything technical. I can make cricket sounds like nobody's business.
pretending I can guess your shirt's fabric content.

Is that I have blue in my hair, I have a lip piercing, I'm very short and like a chihuahua think I'm bigger than I really am. Also my eyes. People always talk about my eyes. Yes they are on my face.

Dear Jesus. Name something. Anything. I don't really have a favorite. I love comic based action movies. Or really good thinking movies. And basically anything with pages I'll read it. Love Robert Jordan wheel of time, Harry Potter, if you MENTION Twilight I'll cut you. Shit. I mentioned it.

A shower
Food (love me some food.)
Oxygen.
Blood.
Water.
FUCKING LASAGNA

Being rich and where I would go and what I would do.
Why don't more animals have hands? Hands are amazing.
What do people in China call their good plates?
What would life be like if I got everything I wanted, including a life time supply of kit Kats.

It varies. Watching a movie. Hanging out with my Best friend. Foot maintenance. Talking to my dogs about the philosophical wonderings of Plato and Confucius. Working. Wondering what I should do.

I wear a special cologne. It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries…and it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.

Youre sexy, smart, fit and fun. I dont think thats too much to ask.

Also You like everything in a person that's opposite of my about me.