i'm a rager that likes staying in. i'm a maker that'll pay others to fix things. i'm a lover still trying to figure out how to love. i won't harbor any ill will if we don't end up getting along. i like to go out dancing to classic soul at the elbo room. i'll never be worried about who you used to be as long as you like who you are now. i like to cook. it's just a crackerjack tattoo on my neck in the picture. i'm polyamorous. i've got excellent taste in music and friends. i'd love to play soccer with your niece in the yard when you're babysitting. i read good magazines and will tell you stories of fantastic worlds when we're in bed. i like kids, but think there are enough already for this over-burdened, sagging, poisoned planet. i like to cuddle as much as i like to fuck. i think light roasted coffee is better than dark (and i can tell you why). i have an excellent relationship with my father. i can minister at your best friend's wedding. i think everyone is incredible as long as they're honest about who they are. your friends will like me. i could sell used cars better than Cal Worthington but think my time is better used smashing imperialism. i can play a djembe better than most of the hippies at the earth day festival. i'm a pacifist. i'm not a burner. i won't tell on you except to you. i can't decide which is the better country music band: neko case or lullaby for the working class. i can reasonably and logically explain why i don't like police officers. i think that chick flicks are better than schwarzenegger movies. i think Box of Moonlight and Photographing Faeries are two of the best movies of all time. also, here's a quote i try to incorporate into every interaction, complete with british spelling:

"And the important thing that I can tell you is that there is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing in your relationship with them. Here is the test: You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn't matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life."

-Milton Glaser, as in milton glaser the designer

right? i mean, am i right?

right now i'm focusing on how to give more of myself without it being a way to avoid things. whether it's platonic friendships, poly relationships or professional endeavors, i want to be fully present with both my companions and myself. they say admission is the first step in recovery, so now i'm trying to intuit step two. update: not as easy as i thought...

also, trying to stay conscious of what a fucking incredible city i live in and taking advantage of that with afternoons in dolores, mornings at the academy of sciences, evenings at the herbst and nights in the loin. or something like that. any ideas about what i'm probably missing out on?

also, i tend to not leave the mission as much as i should. i mean, really... c'mon -- this is a world class city, and i spend this much time in this one neighborhood? help a brother out.

please...

cooking... i'm actually really good and i'm getting better at it and i feel good when i share the fruits of my labors. come eat with me!

drinking. i know my limits and know when others have reached theirs. also good at communicating those limits without being a dick.

motivating. not, like, motivational-speaker style motivating; just getting my lazy, stoner friends off their asses and going to see that show we've been talking about.

i'm sure there's more, but bragging is generally frowned upon.

i suppose it's my eyes. or the unicorn horn. maybe the rainbow bursting forth from my chest like a big, not at all furry, care bear. or the kitten on my shoulder -- a soft and warm blooded jimmeny cricket, if you please. someone just said "[i'm] in awe of your nose. worthy of michelangelo's marble slabs, i tell ya."

probably, though, it's just the eyes.

books (see my goodreads)
favs
endgame
ishmael
crooked little vein

current/recent
cryptonomicon
clash of kings
harper's monthly

movies
long term, consistently thought provoking favs
shortbus
pi
medicine for melancholy

recently enjoyed
i love you, man
zatoichi
kings

music (see my last.fm)
constant rotation
ida
hem
neko case

currently listening to
miike snow
julie doiron
smog

food
favs
indian
thai
burritos

want to explore
seafood (i was raised vegetarian)
venezuelan
spanish

these little lists are a bit too confining. i like a lot of stuff. music is really just if it's good, you know? with books, i lean more toward near-future social sci-fi or straight up non-fiction/reference. also a lot of magazines. my diet is expanding slowly, now that i've decided it's time to start preparing for the eventual melt-down of the industrial food chain and i don't know where i'll get my protein. and movies run the gamut: rom-coms to indie flicks to historical fiction to docs to shiny action blockbusters -- it's really just about entertainment and spectacle.

cats*
authenticity
passion
lust
love
nature

*seriously -- a world without cats would be a world not worth living in.

the nature of human interaction and consciousness generally. how we deal with the world. how we'll deal with the world when civilization finally collapses. how i'll keep from falling into old patterns. when to buy property. whether buying or owning property is moral. whether morality is inherent or purely a social construct. whether that even matters. how to address that almost everyone i meet is either monogamous or just horny. letting go of attachments. cigarettes. fragmented sentences.

meeting with friends to grab a drink and maybe go out dancing.

tinkering with a project.

recovering from thirsty thursday.

on call for work.

planning a big brunch for saturday.

making a huge dinner for friends.

driving to sacramento for a weekend with my nephew (and his parents, too, i suppose).

convincing some believer otherwise.

i have a deathly fear of natural bodies of water. pools are just fine.

i didn't lose my virginity until 18 or 19 (or was it 17?).

i'm not completely straight, but there's no queer option in OkC.

there's nothing true to which i wouldn't admit, so go ahead and ask.

you think our interests, though disparate, might be compatible.

you're into working through the world with friends and lovers, shaking out your experiences and wisdom and troubles openly and compassionately.

you're down to just go get shitty and chain smoke at a mission dive with someone new.

you're not intimidated by the idea of meeting a new someone from the intrawebs.

you find humor in this on many levels.