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48 Oakland, CA Man, Non-binary, Genderfluid, Gender Nonconforming

Man, Non-binary, Genderfluid, Gender Nonconforming

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 30–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Bisexual, Sapiosexual, Pansexual, Queer, Heteroflexible
White, Other
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Atheism, and laughing about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Italian (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a creative, authentic, funny smarty-pants who loves nature, travel, adventure, radical politics, and tech.

I'm passionate about social change. Core values include antiracism, feminism, antoclassism, and anti-ableism. Currently my actions takes the form of web work for social good, studying social movements, and engaging in talks on anything from ethics to economics to science. I've retreated from most marches and direct organizing while I explore the nature of successful social justice movements of the past.

I'm compassionate without being a pushover, nonjudgemental without being naive, open-minded yet not credulous, and sexy without being in perfect shape (in my own mind at least!). I lean strongly towards ethical non-monogamy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Making you laugh with horrible puns and a quick wit!

I do tech consulting for nonprofits and other worthy causes and I work with a tech co-op that formed out of the Occupy movement. I'm reading and debating organizing, social change, and economics. I also travel extensively and just turned from a winter in India.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Communicating, adventure, exploration, creating safe space, reading, research, crafting bad puns.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm sweet and funny.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Recent reading: A lot of good sci-fi. Yes, I'm that sort of nerd! In addition to scifi I also read science, history, and some general fiction. I've been on a bit of an arc learning about economics.

Politics/feminism: bell hooks, William Moyers's Doing Democracy.

Nonfiction: Jennifer Hecht's Doubt: A History, Jared Diamond, Steven Pinker, Douglas Hofstadter, and Daniel Dennet. I like some books by Harris and Dawkins but wish there weren't such asshats.

Fiction: Margaret Atwood, Cormac McCarthy, T.C. Boyle. I have a soft spot for magical realism like The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon, Stone Junction, and Tex and Molly in the Afterlife.

SF/fantasy: Octavia Butler, Kim Stanley Robinson, Ursula K. Le Guin, Connie Willis, Terry Pratchett, Kurt Vonnegut, Cory Doctorow, and Charles Stross, and almost anything dystopic or utopic. I am just noticing there's a new wave of excellent woman-authored scifi!

I read Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life a few years ago and I'm very pleased to have NVC as a primary communication/conflict resolution tool.

Movies: Cloud Atlas, Like Water for Chocolate, Man Facing Southeast, Shrek, Spirited Away, The Fall, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Twelve Monkeys.

Music: I have really wide tastes. Alternative, bluegrass, latin, electronic, folk, hip hop, punk, metal, industrial, and world music. I have a soft spot for genre-shifting covers.

Podcasts: This American Life, Radiolab, Infinite Monkey Cage.

Food: Indian, Thai, Mexican, Oaxacan, Middle-Eastern.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Touch, sex, nature, community, and revolution, and new things I haven't discovered yet.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Everything. Yarg! Rub my head, make it stop!

How to save the world! How to combine community, art and organizing into a viable social revolution.

I think about why humans ever wandered out of Africa and self-domesticated on the Levant. And about how that was a probably a mistake. Well, coming down out of the trees was probably a mistake. Or maybe leaving the oceans. It's hard to tell where we went so wrong. =)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Asleep, reading, driving, or dorking out on the internet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I use emoticons and I am not ashamed! =D

Somehow folks find my profile intimidating or the assume I'm a stud muffin getting a ton of action. In reality I'm approachable and the opposite of busy!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are brilliant and politically engaged.

You are a smart, accomplished woman and sick of small-minded men who can't cope with that.

You find this paper oddly stimulating.

You like a lot of autonomy in your relationships.

You like rambling walks with talks about philosophy, ethics, politics, economics, history, and/or organizing. Sapiosexual is an actual orientation, right?

You think about about how to change the world in some way large or small and/or are actively engaged in such change.

You prefer a relationship to develop through time and aren't strongly partner-driven; as a friend put it, "I'm neither intimacy-phobic nor commitment-driven at this point. It's half the fun to see what our dynamic turns into and where the journey takes us."

You are not cruising for purely casual sex. Even a casual relationship must have a degree intimacy, connection, and vulnerability, or it's simply not satisfying. Friends first.