I want to talk for a minute about relationship styles, because that’s important to me. I am here to find a committed and serious relationship. After years of other relationships, as well as studying how people learn and love, I’ve come to feel that the only way to achieve this is through trust and communication leading to emotional intimacy. So that’s what I practice when I date. To some, this may end up seeming like “moving fast”, but I think that’s too simple. It isn't a matter of the passage of time. Instead of thinking about it like speed, I prefer to think of it as intention. If you are interested, I will enter dating with you assuming that your eventual goal is a serious relationship and that we are on a potential path to that, from the very first minute. I will treat you with respect and assume that you are an adult and are in touch with, and comfortable with, who you are and your own feelings. I don’t think that mistrust, misdirection or dishonesty have any place in dating, and I don’t use them. That does not mean that I want or expect you to be perfect - I’m certainly not. I just means that we don’t have to dance around each other. It also means that I expect to be treated with respect. I don’t condescend, I don’t lie, and I strive for a basic layer of trust and emotional deepness from the very first minute, and that’s what I want in return. I won’t treat you like a porcelain doll or a delicate creature, and I won’t insult your intelligence (nor your emotional intelligence). If I’m excited about you, I’ll let you know that. If I like you, I’ll tell you (and if I don’t think we’re a good fit, I’ll be compassionate but clear and direct about that as well). If that seems frightening or intense to you, then we are likely not a good fit.
On a prosaic level, that means that I am likely to tell you on our first date whether I see any potential and will ask for a second date, and perhaps even ask what you might like to do. I may even ask if you’re available the next day (if I’m free), or the day after that. If you’re busy, I’ll ask you when you’re free. It means that I will call and/or text you almost every day with some small thought, or just to ask how you’re doing - and it would be nice to get a call and/or text back. I also believe in chivalry - I will open doors, pay for meals, and pick you up in my car to go out. It means that I will want to see you, will be excited to see you - in person - on a regular basis. If you are too busy to sustain that level of intimacy, or that just doesn’t sound fun or interesting to you, then we are likely not a good fit.
If, on the other hand, you’ve been searching for someone who genuinely doesn’t play games and is willing and able to be your true partner throughout life - someone you can trust and count on every day - then you may have found what you’re looking for!