Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am the frog you must kiss! You will enjoy it!!
James Bond is my mentor and The Most Interesting Man in the World
is my life coach. A modern day Arthur Rimbaud, if you will.
I'm single and hoping to attract a woman that wants and can
appreciate a gentlemen. I'm not the bad boy type and have no desire
to be. I'm simple, loyal, honest, sweet, thoughtful, and caring. I
love the outdoors, dinning out, movies and just relaxing at home.
Always willing to try new things. I have a great family and close
friends to be grateful for.
1. Your sense of humor could be described as an “acquired
2. Sarcasm slips out of your mouth so often that you often forget
you’re doing it. You have to tell people when you’re being serious,
because they’re so used to you making jokes.
3. And since your default is sarcasm, you have a hard time turning
it off when others need you to.
4. You’re never more on point than when you meet a fellow sarcastic
person with whom you can trade quips.
5. Tough love has always been your thing, but no one else seems to
6. It takes a LOT to get you excited, and even when you do get
excited, you still express it with sarcasm, which confuses everyone
just the same.
7. Saying something sarcastic makes you feel better immediately
afterward, even if the person you’re talking to doesn’t get it.
You’ve had to say the words, “I’m just kidding,” at least once a
week. In fact, you’ve learned the hard way that ending thoughts
with “Just kidding!” is probably the safest thing to do.
8. When you meet someone and you instantly hate them, you have a
super hard time hiding it.. People immediately know how you feel
about something, whether you want them to or not..
9. People often say that you have an “attitude problem,” but those
people clearly suck.
10. Your way of dealing with emotions is through sarcasm, which can
sometimes work and other times…not so much. And you have a hard
time with compliments, in general. hearing how wonderful we
11. When you meet someone who isn’t sarcastic, it kind of feels
like talking to a baby.
12. Sometimes you worry that you’re the only one who thinks you’re
funny..but actually, the real problem is that you’re the funniest
person in the whole damn room.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Doing whatever makes money or makes me smile! If you win my
sweepstakes, you will automatically win a chance to do these things
with me as well. TICKETS ON SALE NOW!!!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing in the garden, trust me on this one. I am a Master Gardener
and have been in the landscape plant health industry for 25 years.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Recently my best friend paid me this compliment: “you navigate
seamlessly between fun and serious, sensual and sexual, romantic
and raunchy”. You can get a grasp of what I’m like from my friends
prospective from this quote, and the “raunchy” part I hope is more
about my sense of humor. Lol.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love Big Bang, anything on history, or a good comedy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My Necronomicon Ex-Mortis
My autographed picture of bigfoot
My stuffed loch ness monster I caught 3 years ago on a fishing
My Dogs Playing Poker painting
My Space Craft its used but gets great mileage
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
When will the world get male birth control pills?
What if the hokey poke is what it’s all about?
How to make more desserts on the BBQ.
If everyone Wang Chungs tonight, what would tomorrow be like?
Or the great debate of green vs red Tabasco, do you want the heat
or the flavor?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Spending time with my number one girl! She's cute funny and very
caring. We talk, go out to eat, and play video games. But lets keep
things quiet till We get to know each other better I don't want her
to know I'll take you to the Aquarium on the first date she might
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The most private thing I am willing to admit: I wear a special
cologne. It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine
countries…and it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are beautiful, kind, compassionate, intelligent, witty,
wonderful, giving, generous, self-assured, modest, humble,
outgoing, shy, etc.
Or if you just want to give me something valuable, like eternal
wisdom, a free ticket to Paris, or a house. Hey you read this far
Send me a note and say hi!!!
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.