Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

I'm currently working full time and working on a PhD part time. It's a lot of life, but I go out and play when I can. Otherwise, my brain explodes: not pretty!! One of the side effects of this is that I don't really have the time or the energy to chat online, so if this is your goal, I am not your woman!

I'm a DWF who's comfortable with herself and not easily intimidated. I want someone who can keep up with me: I cannot resist a smartass comment or a witty one-liner, or someone who makes them. I dress up well and love to strut in and take over a room. The best way into my bed is through my head: Flirt smartly, and I'll show you the lacy top of my stockings! But I savor "off" time, too. I love to hang out on a weeknight and watch movies with a good glass of wine. And I make a good cookie.

As for the serious stuff, I'd like to get married and have a family. Really, I mean that! I love to flirt and I have done plenty of playing in my day, but my goal here is to meet someone who is the sort of person to tease me at dinner about a word game we played at breakfast, while we picked through the NYT and played footsie under the kitchen table. I am not threatened by alternative lifestyles (please note that I am not bisexual), but I yearn for someone who can keep up a thread of humor while speculating on characteristics our children might get from either of us, and mean all of it. Someone who approaches his personal life with the same sort of thoughtful ambition, rueful humor and enthusiasm that he does his professional life. I hate those lists of "musts", but hopefully, that will suggest the sort of thoughtfulness that is likely to get an answer from me.

I'm working on a PhD in history of the decorative arts (that = the stuff)(but it also means I'm a busy woman), and I'm restoring an old house in a crappy neighborhood. I have a great job at a college in Manhattan, and love New York City as much as I love the beach and the more rural towns of the tri-state area. I have a terrific circle of friends. I also have all kinds of creative hobbies, mostly involving sewing and needlework. I'm always taking in strays (people, cats, the house) or cooking or sewing for others. And I maintain an policy of relaxed but honest communication: If you aren't the guy for me, I'll tell you so.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

Pondering the nature of love.

Reading the 300 pages I have to complete for this week's class.

Hanging out with friends to giggle and watch movies, glass of wine in hand.

Spending way too much time reading online personals. (But I have hope!)

Deciding which house project to tackle next: painting the woodwork in my office? Finishing up the grout in the upstairs bathroom? Recovering one of the living room sofas? Finishing the dining room curtains? Maybe I'll think about it while I put another load of laundry in...

Looking for someone with whom to spend the occasional Saturday making love and dozing all day.

Curling up on my sofa, reading (probably homework) with an orange cat snuggled in my lap.

Wrestling new library software at my day job.

Putting together a new scholar's forum for people studying dress cultures.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

Letting other people be themselves. Learning new stuff. Teaching other people new stuff. Baking cookies. Self deprecation. Cooking dinner. Improvising plans. Kissing. Making clothes. Teaching other people how to make clothes. Welcoming people into my life. Driving in snow. Loving.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

My decolletage. Then they get around to noticing my eyes or my self-assurance.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

a) Eat, Pray, Love. Reading Lolita in Tehran. Historical mysteries like Anne Perry's Thomas and Charlotte Pitt novels and Lindsey Davis' Didius Falco books. Anything by Connie Willis, especially 'To Say Nothing of the Dog' or Neil Gaiman.

b) The Philadelphia Story, Bringing Up Baby, Dangerous Beauty, Bull Durham, The Thin Man movies, Sean of the Dead, Mirrormask, Wallace & Gromit anything, The Commitments, Pan's Labyrinth, Shakespeare in Love, and the A&E Pride and Prejudice, which I probably watch once a month.

c) Dire Straits, John Hammond, Bruce Springsteen, Peter Gabriel, Glenn Miller, The English Beat, the Squirrel Nut Zippers, Emmy Lou Harris, Cake, Patty Scialfa, Amy Rigby, the NJ Blues scene, WFUV.

d) Raspberries. Spanish-style hot chocolate. Salmon. Champagne. Thai food. Spicy tuna rolls. Full bodied red wine. Tomatillo sauce.

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

My orange cat. He's dopey, but we're attached.

A needle and thread and some cloth to do something cool with them.

Sunshine pouring into my bedroom.

My fireplace.

Several books just in case I get stuck waiting somewhere.

A decent kitchen to bake in. Friends to feed in said kitchen.

(More is more, heck with the numbers!!)

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

Out having fabulous cocktails and a really good dinner with several of my girlfriends. We get a nice buzz on and compare our weeks, ponder imponderables (like you guys), talk about our professional aspirations, flirt with willing victims, and enjoy one another's company. If it's a quiet night, we might head home and break out the bubbly and watch "Pride and Prejudice".

Or I might be driving to a faraway friend's house for the weekend. Or I might be on a first date. (It's been known to happen.) Or hosting a gathering of friends for hors d'oevres and port in front of my lovely fireplace. Or I might be driving down to the shore to share good wine and food with my family.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

How much I miss having a serious sweetie. I miss having someone to shop for, and do small stuff for, and come home to. I'm rather a domestic sort at heart.

You should message me if Propose an edit

You are comfortable in your own skin. You want someone to go out to Coney Island to get a hot dog at the real Nathan's with you. You can laugh at your own contradictions. You need a dance partner with rhythm. You want someone who views each date as a new adventure. You want someone who will be forthright with you.

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