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paranoiabombs

24 F Raynham Center, MA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:46pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from high school
Job
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
- Douglas Adams

I can be loud and obnoxious, especially with the right people. I'm shy at first, but it's easy to talk me out of it. I dance in the car by myself and adore cuddling, especially in the middle of the night. I cry when I'm angry. I watch too much reality television. I don't like watermelon, but I do enjoy watermelon flavored popsicles more than any other flavor. I have an unhealthy love for a well groomed beard.

If you want to get on my good side right off the bat, message me before you IM me. I prefer real talk to small talk
What I’m doing with my life
"Still got the outlook that I had as a kid, and I still don't see a damn thing wrong with that".

Never growing up.

During the day, I'm a secret agent. No, really. Don't believe me? Ask me about it!
I’m really good at
Laughing at myself. I try to find the humor in the little things in my life, even the not-so-great things. I like to claim that my life is an M. Night Shymalan plot twist.

Planning my next move. I'm constantly thinking about the future, whether it be long-term or short-term. I try to stay ahead of the curve and know what I'll do in any given situation (but that almost never works).
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes or my smile, I think. I've heard I have "elf eyes"; No whites to them.

I often get compliments on my teeth. I once mistook a woman complimenting them for her mocking me because I had just put chapstick on and I thought it had spread to my teeth. Oops!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Everything is Illuminated, White Oleander, Time Traveler's Wife, Catcher in the Rye, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Movies*: Good Will Hunting, Shawshank Redemption, Everything is Illuminated, The Hangover, Anchorman, Donnie Darko

Music: Brand New (tattooed on my feet ftw), The Spill Canvas, Punchline. And Top 40 pop music is my guilty pleasure.

Food: I'm a picky eater.

Television: The Adult Swim 9 to midnight block is my jam. Reality TV like it's nobody's business. Another guilty pleasure. I totally know it's not so reality, but you can't tell me it's not addicting and amusing. I have a bad habit of getting my hands on complete series' from my childhood. Rocko's Modern Life, Ahhh! Real Monsters, and Ren & Stimpy, to name a few.

*You can quote any of these movies to me a thousand times, but (with the exception of Anchorman) I will never know what you're talking about. I remember the basic plot and (usually) the ending of movies, but don't remember most of the details. Sorry in advance.
The six things I could never do without
Family & Friends
Love, Trust & Affection
New England Summers
Life experiences turned entertaining stories
Gut-wrenching laughter
Nail clippers & Band-aids

The six things I could definitely do without:
Bullies
Winter (except for in December)
Robot Chicken & Children's Hospital in the Adult Swim lineup.
Shoes & Socks (assuming the climate allows me to be barefoot comfortably)
Seafood
Pants
I spend a lot of time thinking about
"I think and think and think. I've thought myself out of happiness one million times and never once into it."
-Jonathan Safran Foer

As much as this sums up my thinking process, the quote itself has me trying to think myself into happiness as much as possible.

Who exactly reported the picture of my owl tattoo to OkCupid TEN MINUTES after I posted it, strictly because it didn't show my face. You boys are silly, even if I was breaking rules.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm apparently the only one on this website to have a typical Friday night. How boring!

I usually work until 11 on Friday nights. Upon release, I participate in IHop Friday with my coworkers before going to bed because I often open on Saturday mornings.

Maybe, if you're lucky, I'll let you break my cycle of monotony. But be warned, I like the cycle as is.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
As hard as I've tried, I've never been able to finish a video game. Don't judge.

"Well, we essentially LARP for a living".
No shame. It's amazing.

I am usually the one behind the camera at social events and parties, so this means there aren't many candid shots of me and cell phone selfies are my only real option for new photos. My sincerest apologies.

I am nearly always early for most occasions. Party with friends at 7pm? I'm there at 6:45pm. Don't hate, it means I'm excited to see you.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 24–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are a board game nerd and want to help me get through my queue.

Alternately, if you're a television nerd and want to get me addicted to your favorite show.

You want to say more than "Hey". Can't latch on to anything in my profile? That's cool; Review a piece of media you recently experienced (book/movie/board game/etc)!

You're as much of an affection whore as I am.

You know how to be (appropriately) aggressive.

You think you can handle it.