Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

pasticheleur

41 F Sacramento, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Native American, White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Anything
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Education
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Has a kid, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Afrikaans (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), Italian (Poorly), Chinese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Avid conversationalist, voracious reader, casual dresser, passionate kisser. ENFJ, Kinsey 1.5. Friendly, open, quirky, affectionate, sassy. Sincere aspirant to joyous polyamory. Always ready to laugh.

**************** **************** ****************
Let me use this space to clear something up for people who are unclear on the concept of polyamory (fellow poly folk, you can skip the rest of this answer):

Polyamory comes from the Greek poly (many) and the Latin amor (love). So polyamory refers to loving more than one person. It is a fairly new term, coined in the early 1980's. The definition is currently very fluid. Descriptions of polyamory include:

~ loving more than just one person at a time. This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved.

~being involved in (or desiring) multiple romantic and sexual relationships in an open and honest fashion.

~ various relationship styles of responsible non-monogamy.

Polyamory is about love, defined not by societal constraints, but by the parameters that individuals agree on. There are many different configurations of relationships in polyamory, but they have in common honesty and consensuality. A polyamorous person may have more than one person that s/he considers to be a "spouse". A polyamorous person may have one "primary" partner and other "secondary" or occasional partners. While some polyamorists are straight couples who agree they can have other lovers, polyamorists can be singles, triads, quads, networks, tribes, bi, gay, and transgendered folk: any person can be polyamorous.

The key is that polyamory is NOT based on (or accepting of) lies or deception. Polyamory is not the same thing as indiscriminately sleeping around. It is totally predicated on loving honesty. A polyamorist is dedicated to emotional transparency.

What relevance does this have to my profile, you ask? Well, as indicated in my first paragraph, I'm polyamorous. I'm simply NOT looking for one exclusive relationship--I have a lot of love to share! I don't have a primary partner right now and am not quite ready for one yet (going through a divorce), but I hope to find one someday. Right now I just want to meet some terrific people and treat them nicely with the hope of being treated well in turn. Couldn't we all use more love, respect and honesty in our lives?

So:
~Please don't message me if you're just trying to find a quick fuck.
~Please don't message me if you're seeking a woman with whom you can have a ongoing but clandestine extramarital affair.
~Please don't message me if you're only looking for an EXCLUSIVE relationship. Commitment is great; exclusivity isn't for me. As I indicated above, I may one day be ready to commit to a "primary" relationship, but right now I'm still trying to come to terms with the collapse of my marriage.

But please DO message me if you want to TALK about polyamory. It's a really interesting topic and I'd love to engage in open-minded discussion about it with new friends.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Teaching middle school English; parenting a six year old; reading books; lurking on the internet...I should really find more fun stuff to do.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Oy gevalt, where do I begin?

That was a slightly lame joke. There are many things I'm terrible at and only a few at which I excel.

I'm an experienced, devoted teacher.
I love trying new things and I handle transition well.
My organization skills are superb.
My close friends say I'm caring and generous.
I'm resilient.
I like to believe I'm an excellent communicator.

And here's one I told a correspondent I'd explain in my profile:
I'm skilled with language mechanics, e.g. grammar, spelling and punctuation. The flip side of this talent is that I'm particular about other people's written language. I'm tolerant of occasional errors, but I'm not patient with careless writers. There you go. Forewarned is forearmed.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I'm happy and relaxed, it's my smile. A good thing, too--straightening these teeth was costly and time-consuming.
Otherwise, it's probably the third arm sticking out of the side of my head.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I mostly read novels. Some of the many authors I've idolized over the years are John Irving, David Foster Wallace, Mark Twain, John Steinbeck, Charles Dickens, Jonathan Lethem, Neil Gaiman, Agatha Christie, Amy Tan, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, Orson Scott Card, Anne Tyler, Max Brooks, Lois Lowry, Douglas Adams, Arthur Conan Doyle, Brady Udall, Jonathan Franzen . . . I enjoy some nonfiction as well, especially if it's written in a narrative format (Oliver Sacks and Bill Bryson come to mind). Memoirs are cool too-- Augusten Burroughs and David Sedaris, for example.

Beatles, Queen, Guster, Old 97s, Sex Pistols, Jonathan Coulton, Fistful of Mercy, The Heavy, Green Day, Joseph Arthur, Theuns Jordaan, Johnny Cash, Le Mystere de Voix Bulgares, The Decemberists, Black Flag, Loney, Dear, Kings of Convenience, Sweet Honey in the Rock, Paul Simon, Sting, The Pogues, Prince, Ani DiFranco, Leonard Cohen, Gogol Bordello, The Ramones, Rufus Wainwright, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Tom Waits et al.

Sushi, Indian food, pizza, frozen yogurt, BBQ...

I have eclectic taste in theater and a strong preference for complex but clear character development in films. Also, I adore documentaries. But actually, I haven't watched many new movies in the past several years. What are your favorites? Will you share them with me?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
clean water, a variety of nutrients, sleep, shelter, other people, books, sex, the internet, affection, hope. Yes, that's a list of ten things. Yes, I could live without all but the first three or four. But would I want to? Categorically, no.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how happy I am to be home in California. I lived in Beijing from November 2010 through July 2014. It was a valuable experience in many ways, but I'm glad it's over.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
waiting for you to call me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I bite my fingernails.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 20–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
First, please DON'T write a message consisting solely of "hi", "what's up", "how are you", "good evening", or anything similarly insipid. If you can't do better than that, I don't think our communication would be mutually rewarding.

Second, please don't message me if you can't reliably differentiate between "your" and "you're", "there", "their" and "they're", or "then" and "than".
(I mean, unless you actively want me to correct you all the time. Trust me, I will.)

On the other hand, if you make reference in your first message to something I've written about, I WILL value the time you spent reading my profile and will want to talk with you more. This is especially true if our match or friend score is 80% or higher.

So...why SHOULD you message me?

~if you'd like me to accompany you to a play, concert, reading, dance performance, street fair, or any other interesting event.

~if you want to play board games together.

~if you want to show me your favorite movies.

~if you want to drink beer with me.

~if you're a responsible single parent who can offer suggestions and guidance. My husband and I are splitting and I am about to take on 50% custody of my six year old daughter--in a town where neither of us has resided before.

Most importantly, you should message me if you believe it's important to question your own assumptions and are often ready to laugh without restraint.