Update: I met someone on here. 19 days after the last post I wrote.

We had a good time for a little while but it went wrong! (We hid each other on here after splitting so I am not seeking revenge) Mainly due to conflicting beliefs but I got kinda burned by the way it ended... or so I thought. In actual fact, it's the best thing that's happened to me this year. I've learned a lot about love and what it means to invest in someone else. It might go wrong, but keep your chin up and look forward. Be confident in yourself. Have fun, and keep your heart as open as you can to the possibility of love.

Today I have a black eye, got no sleep last night and things couldn't be better!

I have been a member of this site for about one year now. If it were match.com, I would certainly be entitled to my money back! I have only met one person on this site and, sweet though he was on the one date we went on, we weren't really a match.

Anyway, my point is that it seems really difficult getting a response out of girls, or if I do start messaging them, actually getting them to follow up on a date! It's NEVER happened! The frustrating thing is that I see a lot of girls on this site who are really my type- this site obviously appeals to those who define themselves as a bit indie, a bit intellectual, and are looking for someone who wants a bit more than 'nights out drinking and quiet nights in watching a dvd'. I have dated girls this year, who i've met 'in real life' and not on the internet. The prolem is, I get bored so easily with someone who doesn't really challenge me or share my interests, or seems a bit mundane to me. Or worse, where there's no sexual attraction.

So I do sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me? My sexuality?! That I smoke? But I usually pull myself together. Usually ;O)


As an aside, I'd like to mention that I have changed a lot this year. I''ve gone from being largely obsessed with a limited number of things (work, band, falling in love) to broadening my horizons a bit to include activities such as walks in the country, the gym, classical music, reading and watching films. I have learnt (the hard way) that the easiet way is sometimes the best way, and that relaxing and allowing oneself to be still is as good as and compliments beautifully working hard to achieve ones goals. I've become more secure in myself. I am still an emotional boy in many ways, but I like it.

I'm still sure that there's someone out there for me!

I HATE waiting for them to text back. I meet a girl (usually) on an online dating site, think they're the best thing since sliced bread and waiting to arrange the first or second date with them feels so stressful! It's not supposed to be this way I'm sure. I'm ready, immediately ready, despite my ridiculous schedule of band practices/gigs, work, and other self development obligations, to just drop everything and meet with them asap. " Just relax, the right person will come along at the right time!" I hear you cry. Well yes, apparently. But after almost a year now of false starts, either through them getting the creeps or me realising they're too creepy, I'm beginning to lose faith. Broken phones, new boyfriends in Brighton- damn this is getting demoralising. So I wait, don't get too pushy, don't want to drive them away so just wait here, appearing sure of myself and what not. While even dinner at a palace with a princess can't take my mind off them.