Still newer section, 3-3-12:
So yesterday I messaged someone who had a nearly blank profile and was consequently a 0% match, but who had some photos I found attractive (zaftig, rubenesque). Of course this is very low probability, but what the hell, right? So (somewhat surprisingly) she responded within about 15 minutes, and was polite but said "I'm not interested in casual sex". Well, this is a bit of a conundrum, since I'm really looking for more than that in a way. So it's important for me to clarify. I'm in a high-depth and rich relationship with someone who identifies as poly, who also has some "fuckbuddy"/FWB (God do I hate both terms but they get the concept across) relationships she finds rewarding. I see no problem with this, and would be open to relationships like this myself. In other words I think that relationships based on "sex for its own sake" can be very rewarding (and tend to lead to a deeper relationship when the sex is mutually good). It's basically how she and I met and it's really flowered into something incredible. But such relationships aren't the same as indiscriminate and/or one-night-stand kind of sex, which is what the term "casual sex" connotes to me. And plus (yes I read too much David Foster Wallace) I'm open to deeper-than-sex-for-its-own-sake relationships. The caution here of course is (as they say in the poly community) "love is abundant but time is not". So to sum up, I just unchecked "casual sex" and checked "short term relationship" (which was inexplicably left out), but if you need the nuance around those overly coarse-grained choices, well here's the paragraph for you.
End still newer section
New section: 2-27-12
I created this profile a couple years ago and let it go dormant, when my life was quite a bit different, but when I was on the way to discovering how to live my life in an open, genuine and authentic way. Nonetheless, I'm gratified to see how few corrections I needed to make to the old text, mostly edits that make clear I'm not married anymore (I'm divorced now). I now identify as poly with a deep and unshakable relationship with rednwhitehot, who I mention below as "a friend on here who recommends this site". But identifying as poly is new for me. It feels right because I'm usually (and somewhat amazingly) comfortable with her dating other people. And because it's also exciting to explore my rather late-blooming slut side (although I've definitely moved to seeking quality over quantity), which is also something that's pretty evident in the older unchanged text on this profile.
End new section.
I'm here because I'm looking for friends who share my outlook on life, and because I have a friend on here who recommends this site. I like it so far, it seems intelligent and close to my own values.
I've tried a few of the casual sex hookup sites and while I've made a few friends there (including the aforementioned referrer), they inevitably seem to attract a lot of thoughtless me-first sex-as-PARTAY-WHOOO! commercial-porn-approach-to-sensuality goofballs (of both genders). And require a fairly enormous amount of time spent for a fairly poor ratio of quality friends made to time spent. Which by the way I more or less expect as a middle aged male, but perhaps here the goofball factor is lower.
I am creative, easygoing, and sensual. All of these are important to me in a partner as well.