I dress up in gladiator costumes to surprise dates, take people I meet on public transportation to the Opera, and ask difficult non-socially acceptable questions like "tell me about the most you've ever suffered" on first dates. People tell me everything. I am smarter than you are and have fewer problems.

If you are insecure, you will likely think I'm the pretentious arrogant asshole that this profile sounds like. If you are secure, I'm none of those things.

You can tell me why I wrote this to sound like such a dick.