I have a dream -- no more than a dream -- a plan in its very early stages. It is to purchase a sailboat (perhaps a Valiant 50, or something similar) and sail her around the world, collecting data about the marine environment and writing about the voyage and what we find. If it's the last thing I ever do, I am going to make that happen. It would be nice to find a partner with whom to share this adventure and vocation.
Politically, I'm a progressive Democrat, but I've been known to vote for moderate Republicans on occasion. I always try to find common ground with those who do not always agree with me politically. (That's gotten more and more difficult in recent years, I might add). I'm very interested in social justice, human rights, and equality for all people. I'm also a veteran (USAF) and proud of that, though I've come to believe that no war is necessary or winnable. It annoys me that I get tears in my eyes when I hear "America" sung.
I have a wide range of friends from many different walks of life -- rich, poor, straight, gay, young, old, PhDs and high school graduates. I grew up in a wealthy town, but have lived in a depressed city, and felt like I had my feet in two different worlds, neither of which understands the other. I feel very lucky because I could leave where I was and in 15 minutes be in a whole other world. Many people in that city cannot.
I can relate to almost anyone. Sometimes I think about the people I like from the different parts of my life, and realize some of them would dislike each other, or simply have nothing in common. It makes me good at reconciliation -- helping people find common ground.
I tend to have more women friends than men, and and hope my partner will be comfortable with that. I'm faithful and loyal, almost to a fault. Having said that, I am very sensitive to my partner's feelings, and would make adjustments if it ever became an issue.
My spiritual life is very important to me, and I need a couple of hours every day for quiet meditation and prayer. While I'm Episcopalian, I tend to take the best from many religions and spiritual traditions, including the A Course in Miracles and the 12 Steps. I chose not to be ordained, partly because I think the people who need ministering to most probably don't go to church. My spiritual director once told me that the institutional church is too dark for me (all that stained glass) and its vision is very limited. I need to see the horizon, and I can't within the walls of a church.
I'm also worrying now that all this stuff about spirituality will scare a really good partner away. So let me add that I'm not religious, and I don't expect anyone else to be as interested in spiritual things as I am. In fact, I have many issues with institutional religion.
This is another way of saying I'm kind of a complicated person who is still in process of becoming. As for my ideal partner, she can be of any denomination, religion, or none -- but I would hope she understands that there is some kind of force or energy that's larger than we are with which we co-create our lives.
I'm very concerned about the environmental degradation I see all around me, especially in the oceans and bays. Someone told me my ministry is to the sea and its creatures, and maybe they're right. I do volunteer work with the Coalition for Buzzards Bay in the summer, acting as a "Baywatcher," and I'm a regional coordinator for the
Ocean Conservancy's annual International Coastal Cleanup
Myer-Briggs: INTJ or INFJ (right on the line between the two)
Enneagram: 9 (others sometimes say 2)
That all means I'm highly intuitive, endowed with good insight, trustworthy, introspective sometimes, caring, have a strong sense of justice, a good listener, counselor, and mediator. It also means I'm an incurable romantic, and while I love adventure, home and hearth are very important to me as a place to go out from and come back to. I also tend to act from my heart rather than brain, and I'm trying to find some balance between the two. The downside of being a 9 on the Enneagram is that I tend to be self-forgetting, and that gets me into trouble sometimes.
People tell me I have a very good sense of humor on the wry side. I tend to think it's quirky because I sometimes see things to laugh about that others don't. Life is mostly a riot.
Being part Irish, I have the gift of blarney. It's not BS, but the gift of speaking the truth of my heart in a gentle, sometimes witty, way. I don't know where it originates, but I sometimes am surprised by what comes out of my mouth. I can't help it. I am also convinced the little people actually exist, though I haven't met one lately. I believe in unicorns, and am sure I've seen a herd of them atop Cuttyhunk Island in the fog just at dusk.
I am looking for a woman who loves to sail, read, laugh, walk, go to movies, travel, and loves dogs. She can be a homebody too, as longs as she likes some adventure as well. I hope she is comfortable with closeness and intimacy, playful in bed (sex should be fun!), but also understands that sexual intimacy is spiritual as well -- an expression of deep and abiding love. I hope I am a sensitive and caring lover, as well as being playful sometimes. I'm not interested in casual sex. I want a woman with whom I can share on all levels -- emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical.
I would greatly appreciate a woman who is my intellectual equal (I know that sounds snobbish, but I want an educated woman who understands what I'm talking about and can challenge me to think more clearly and deeply). You've probably heard the axiom that 80% of a relationship in later years consists of verbal communication, so this is really important. So is non-verbal communication. I want a woman who is relatively healthy emotionally, and who is available on all levels -- physically, emotionally, spiritually. Her self esteem and self confidence should be quite good, as mine usually are.
Everybody has some baggage, and that's ok, as long as she doesn't expect me to heal it or carry it. (I have some of my own, and I don't want someone who thinks she's going to fix me. That's my job, and I'm working on it!)
I want someone who can communicate easily, who isn't afraid to be vulnerable, who can trust when it's earned. Hopefully she'll be sensitive, kind, able to be assertive, independent.
I want a woman with me because she wants to be, not because she needs to be. I am also attracted to women with high energy, who love life and dive in heart-first, have a very good sense of humor, and see much to laugh about in life, as I do.
I want a long term relationship, maybe marriage, although I'm not sure it's necessary at this point. If that is part of your heart's desire, we can talk seriously about it if we get that far. I do want someone special to grow with, to continue the journey with, to laugh with...