First off, let me say that I am willing to lie about how we met. I assume this works like eBay. Describe the product that you will be bidding on and wait to see who wins the auction. Anyhow, I guess I am suppose to say something profound here that will catch the attention of whomever may be reading this: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

I am many, kitchen, and hideous

I guess I'll start by telling you my typical cocktail and martini party answer. I'm working at the University of Minnesota. I'm working on my house. I'm managing, coping and all that other crap I tend to tell others so I can spend a few moments in a sugar-coated world where everyone thinks my life is so wonderful and problem-free. Now, for those that may be interested...the truth. At 35 years of age, I've just started the long and arduous journey toward changing my life. I'm tired and disheartened by so much in life, I need to change and find out what I realy want in life. One step at a time I guess. I really never expected this to be my life. I drink too much, I smoke too much. I'm overly picky about who I will socialize with. I'm a republican by nature but am really having trouble with that due to the current administration. I try to keep my feelings internalized rather than blurt out the things in the world that really affect me emotionally. I try to hide it away. I don't like the fact that I do that but the reality is, so few people in the world really care about anything other than themselves. I'm tainted. My heart is turning a deeper shade of black. I'm completely uninspired as of late. I suppose I have had many opportunities thrown my way but I really just thing I've decided to become the standard rather than being anything out of the ordinary. Hum drum me. People are starving and being killed and here I am, complaining about the most insignificant things. How human of me.

making people laugh at the expense of others.

I can make anyone laugh....or I can make anyone cry...depending on how I feel. Unfortunately, I end up feeling regret after the fact.

a) Brave New World b) Too many to pick one. c) Swing/Big Band 4) Garlic

1) Oxygen 2) A heart 3) Cigs 4) Music 5) Social Interaction 6) Beer?

All the people in the world that think their motives are the most important and how they are willing to do anything for their agenda. How people don't realize the permanence of death. How people can be such extremists about their religious beliefs. How someone could possibly ascribe to a belief in a God that allows the nutcases to run around rampantly, running governments and militias and terrorist groups. I wonder why people hate Americans so much. I wonder what our government is doing behind our backs to make others despise us. I wonder if there is a God. I mean, those hurricanes in Florida sure seem like a Godly vengeance or a warning for them to not fuck up the election this time around.

Reading a book, working on my house, watching a movie. Nothing too exciting.

you're probably ugly inside and out and you don't and never will realize it.

You probably shouldn't.