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34 Beltsville, MD Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Nov 10
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Russian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Me? I'm me, but since you insist. . . .

I just moved to Maryland after a three-year stay (including an aborted grad school run) in Ohio. I grew up in a small town in Missouri (not too far from St. Louis), and I'm having a lot of fun exposing myself to new things here. I'm 33, and I like to read, listen to music, walk, go out to eat, play trivia, travel and watch foreign TV comedies.

My life is not exactly typical. My family is unlike anything else you've ever heard, things happen to me differently and I've had a lot of different experiences than most people. This has given me a different look at life that a lot of people find refreshing.

I'm also a bit of a nerd. I love trivia nights, I've had dinner with Ken Jennings (the Jeopardy champion) and I quote from Monty Python shamelessly. I'm not Trek-obsessed and I have decent social skills, so I'm a lot of fun to be around.

I am friendly, intelligent, and animated
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Right now, I'm working at a call center in Laurel for a Big Evil Bank. The money's not bad, and the chances for quick advancement are pretty good. I'm taking life at a leisurely pace at the moment. I've been wanting to live in this area most of my life, and I'm anxious to explore what there is to offer. I'd love to meet someone to share those experiences.

I've recently also decided to pursue writing as a more serious hobby/professional aspiration. I wouldn't start a story with, "It was a dark and stormy night," so I like to feel I'm off to a good start!

Also, I'm trying to be a little edgier in life. I've reached a point where I want to care less about offending people, if that makes any sense.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being there. Being kind. Trying to be funny. Reading. Writing. Knowing useless stuff. And apparently, I'm good at fragmented sentences.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Lately, I get a lot of comments about my voice. I've long known that I have an announcer-caliber voice, but people here in Maryland seem to like my Missouri way of speaking. Being the ham I am, I play that up for all the laughs I can get!

People also notice I'm very old-school polite. I always say, "Yes sir" or "no ma'am." People think that's how I was raised. I'll let you in on a secret--it's not!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love reading. I enjoy alternate histories, Civil War books, Plains literature, and classics. I also like romance novels. Someday I'm going to write one, and it'll be rejected for being too good.

Movies: Airplane!, The American President, Back to School, the Dirty Harry series, Gran Torino, Hoosiers, anything Monty Python, Police Academy, Smokey and the Bandit, and the Wizard of Oz. As politically incorrect as they are, I love John Wayne movies. There's a certain aesthetic to them you can't find now.

My music interests include country music (I collect dirty country songs as sort of a hobby), The Eagles and some rap. Waylon Jennings is my hero. I'll tolerate anything; there's very little music I truly can't stand. I'm a huge fan of comedy albums; I have a huge collection of albums from George Carlin, Eddie Murphy and Sam Kinison. Currently, I'm really into Canadian comedian Brent Butt. Yes, that is his real name.

TV shows: Dallas (the original series), 3rd Rock, Brisco County, As Time Goes By (British), Corner Gas (Canadian), Chappelle's Show, Frasier, anything 80s-ish.

I'm a talented cook. I love making pasta dishes and I make amazing fried chicken, chili and cookies. I'm a huge breakfast person, except for the fact I hate eggs.

I love Italian food too. Being from St. Louis, I really miss St. Louis-style pizza. Unfortunately, nobody in Maryland has even heard of it. If you're curious, drop me a line.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
(Other than the obvious things like food, water and shelter.)

Trivia night.
My car.
Coffee. (The doctor recently told me to cut down on caffeine. I only have about eight or ten cups a day--what does he know??)
A good night's sleep.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I can fit antiquated words more into everyday conversation. Like "august." Or "loquacious."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In bed early since I go to work at 9:30 on Saturday morning. Catch me on Wednesday--that's much better.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like stuffed animals. They're fun and they add color to life. I don't feel like my masculinity is threatened by saying that.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you're looking for a guy who will always be there and be kind. If you're looking for something different. If you want a friend and a partner. If you like smart guys. If you like to travel and like to read. If you're ready for something new.

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