What I use to do:
I wanted to be your white knight in shining armor. I wanted to heal all your hurts, real and imaginary, and save you from your daemons. When we were together, I devoted all of my attention on you and I made you feel special. I met your every demand and suppressed every one of my own needs. Slowly, as I became overwhelmed, because my needs were not being met and I was not asking for them, I pull away. As you cling on tighter and tighter I fear that I can't save you, and I feel inadequate, which causes me to pull away even more. Then I leave, and carry with me the story that I am the victim, completely denying from myself that I balked the moment things started to get interesting.
What I am doing:
Breaking this pattern, which does not work for me. I am looking to be in a two way relationship where I can be seen and I can see you for who you truly are. When the drama occurs, I want to hold you for the person you truly are and not get swept up in the drama or run away. I want to be held by you.
I am practicing orgasmic meditation.
I am looking for a soul mate, someone who I can intimately share my life with. After thinking hard about what I am looking for this is what I have come up with. I am looking for someone who is trusting, kind to oneself and others, affectionate (I like to cuddle), lives in NYC (this is where I have chosen to live), and attractive.
If I have described you, I would like to get to know you better and see if we are a match.