i'm trying to write a positive, yet honest account of who and what i am but i have no idea how to do so without feeling like i'm full of it.
my best quality is an acceptance and willingness to listen to people's stories, and try to understand where they are coming from. i have a few eclectic friends on the fringe of society for various reasons, and is probably where i'll be for the rest of my life.
anyway, here is my raw account of what i am, if i had to sum it up in a short modern internet paragraph:
i'm a very kind hearted soul, deriving more pleasure from cuddling my teddy bear these days than the thousands of odd dollars i've spent on computer games and other junk over the years.. i yearn for connection, warmth, but fear the rejection, misunderstanding. i'm desperate i guess, but at the same time hard fast in my aloofness and disconnection from others. in the end i'm tired of projecting an image that i can't sustain for the life of me, someone who is dedicated to the future and goodness etc. i'm living for what is ultimately hedonism.
something cold and dark often times tugs at my feelings from deep and i'm in a constant struggle to renew my love for the things that i think will bring me joy. which brings me to the next section