"This is why I am here: I need to do laundry. I don't have any laundry-works in my flat, and the nearest laundry-house charges like £7 a load or some crazy nonsense. I want to do my laundry at your house and bring over some can-o'-drinks and we'll drink and do laundry together, drinking and telling spooky stories.
I just moved here and don't know any people and don't know where anything is. Tell me where things are. Please.
I have a fine, fine girlfriend back in Chicago. She's dreamy, really. I just want you for your washing machine.
Also, I guess: I am looking for some cool jerks with whom to see some shows and eat some food and fart around and stuff. And drink."