Moved to the top upon request from the men whose hearts I've apparently ripped out by leaving this off until the end of my profile. ;)

I'm only interested in having a relationship with a woman at this time. Sorry, all you lovely men out there, I'm not looking for more of you at the moment. Feel free to message me if you want to talk but don't expect that anything beyond friendship will happen.

I'm in an open relationship (polyamorous) with a wonderful and caring man, sandman517. Neither of us have other partners at the moment, but we love meeting new people.

Before this turns off the non-poly people viewing my profile: I'm here for friends as much as I am for relationships, so even if you're not into the poly scene, shoot off a message to say hi if you think we'd get along!

I am a tall blonde gamer nerd with an abormal love for dictionaries, encyclopedias and office supply stores. Book stores and libraries make me tingly and happy inside.

I am a Devious Disco Bandit looking for a Saucy Sauceror or Titillating Turtle Tamer. Must have better spelling than a bairn-eating Zmobie.

My cat thinks he's a dog.

I love animals. I ran a cat rescue out of my house for years and can't imagine myself without pets. If you don't like animals, I'm afraid I'm not interested.

I'm a very mentally active person and I'm always doing something, even if it looks like I'm not. It's difficult for me to be bored because when I run out of things to do, I'm perfectly fine just kicking back and thinking for a while. Contemplation is an important part of my life and it has helped me reach a greater understanding of myself, which is the key to self-confidence, I think.

I have named my butt Asszilla.

I love to cook both for the theraputic process and for the ego-boosting moans that yummy food often elicits. It also makes me feel good to watch someone enjoy something that I've created. When I get upset, I take it out on my oven. Sandman517 always gets a little nervous when I bake because it generally means I'm pissed about something, haha.

I have been told that I'm like a straight man who enjoys wearing lipstick and looking pretty. I somehow manage to have several masculine personality traits while remaining very girly.

I'm an ESTP. Only 5% of the population scores as an ESTP and only 3% of that 5% are women. What does this mean? That I'm a delicate goddamn flower and you should get me a beer.

I guess you could call me a closet extrovert. I'm very affectionate and attentive, but only if I know you. Upon first meeting me, people typically say I'm pretty quiet, closed off and generally unreadable, but that's only because I'm observing and getting a feel for you. (Sandman517, for instance, thought I wasn't interested because I was so unresponsive to his flirting when in truth I was going "HOLY MAMA I LIKE THIS GUY!" inside.)

Once I do open up, it's like night and day: I don't shut up, haha. I love to talk and interact. Doing something with someone else is always better than doing it by yourself. I'm pretty flirty and like to cuddle-pile with my friends. I stick to smaller crowds, though; loud parties and huge crowds of people leave me feeling anxious and drained. I prefer a smaller, more intimate setting.

With me, what you see is absolutely what you get. I have a no-nonsense and forthright sense of honesty and communication. I believe in everything being on the table and not beating around the bush when an issue arises. I don't think it does anyone any good to allow a bad situation to grow and fester.

Most important of all, I like to be creative and have fun! Video games, board games, card games, improv games like LARPing and RPGs, costumes, ambushed wrestling matches on the living room carpet! I love to laugh and smile. I can get happy and excited over little things. Life is meant to be enjoyed and I do my best. :)

Like so many people in California right now, I'm looking for a job.

In the meantime I am angering the wild asszilla beast by making myself exercise. P90X is brutal.

Reading and writing. They've always come naturally to me; I was reading when I entered Kindergarten, devoured the original Black Beauty in second grade and explained the language of Shakespere to my classmates in high school. When I attended college, I had a very bad habit of farting out an essay the night before it was due because I would get top marks on it even with minimal effort. That's not bragging, there...I was a lazy student. :P

I collect encyclopedias and other reference materials. I keep a list of favorite, obscure words like "callipygian." (Look it up and see if it makes you giggle.) I want an unabridged dictionary for Christmas.

As much as I love the English language, I've never made any serious attempts at writing. I should change that.

I'm also good at baking! Honestly, I prefer it to cooking. Every so often I'll go all Mad Scientist in my kitchen and invent or tweak a recipe. The casualties are devastating: Flour smudges! Piles of mixing bowls! Egg shell fragments! Containers of yeasty, frothing monstrosity! Muah hah hah!

People always think that I'm shy, quiet, reserved, even stuck up when they first meet me. More often than not, it's only because a) I'm in a setting or situation that is making me uncomfortable or b) I'm unsure about you and I'm hanging back to learn more about you before I decide if I like you or not.

I'm not always stand-offish on the first meeting. There has been the occasion that I've given someone a full wrap-around body hug upon first meeting them because I could immediately tell that we'd get along fabulously. It all depends. :)

I'm a quirky, random person. The adjective most used by my friends to describe me is "unique". When I ask for them to explain, they say, "I...I can't! You just...are!" If I'm being particularly silly when you first meet me, don't be scared off by the zany giggles, I'm not always that insane.

RPG Systems:
- Pathfinder
- Aberrant (WoD in general)
- Feng Shui

Video games:
- Halo
- Bioshock
- Half Life 2
- Portal
- Worms

Food:
- Sushi!
- Thai
- Indian
- Mexican
- Cake, which is a lie.

Book series:
-The Dresden Files
- Discworld
- Any H.P. Lovecraft
- A Song of Ice and Fire
- Wheel of Time (if I can ever finish reading it)
- Harry Potter (except for the last book)
- The Death series by Nora Roberts

Novels:
- Snow Crash
- House of Leaves
- American Gods
- Neverwhere
- The Dark House
- The Light Bearer
- Lullaby
- Ender's Game

Comics:
- Sandman
- Fall of Cthulhu
- Hexed
- Watchmen

TV shows:
- That '70s Show
- Scrubs
- Dollhouse
- Firefly
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
- Dead Like Me
- Stargate SG1/Atlantis/Universe
- Good Eats
- Law and Order (all but Criminal Intent, Vincent D'Onofrio annoys the hell out of me)

Animated series:
- Animaniacs
- Family Guy
- South Park
- Robot Chicken
- Metalocalypse
- Martian Successor Nadesico
- Desert Punk
- Ghost in the Shell (movies + series)

Movies/Mini-Series:
- Labyrinth!
- Princess Bride
- Secretary
- Love Actually
- The Man from Earth
- V for Vendetta
- Equilibrium
- Pitch Black
- Boondock Saints
- The Lost Room
- Hogfather
- Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

Random stuff. Have you ever read the Sandman comics? Remember Delirium's realm? Yep...that's my brain.

Pondering who would win in an Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny between Cthulhu and The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

My education was atypical and erratic.

I entered kindergarten being able to read without assistance. I was pulled out of public school after completing the 3rd grade to be home schooled until I was 11 years old, where I began attending college after passing the entrance exam with a score equivalent to that of a high school graduate. At the age of 15, when I could no longer handle the intensity and stress of being educated in an adult atmosphere when I wasn't even old enough to date, I entered high school as a Sophomore and got a painful crash course in socializing with my age group for the first time since I was 8. I attended two years, finished my Senior year at home through the school's independent study program because the teachers and I did not get along, and graduated about a year and a half early, considering I skipped my Freshmen year. I returned to college for two more years before I threw my hands up in disgust and announced to the universe, "I QUIT!"

I feed my learning obsession gladly, but I despise school.

If you're a woman. Sorry, all you lovely men out there, I'm not looking for more of you at the moment. Feel free to message me if you want to talk but don't expect that anything beyond friendship will happen.

If you're poly or open to the concept of multiple-partner relationships. (You will NOT be expected to be in a relationship with sandman517 -- unless, of course, you want to. Requiring you to date us both is against what my idea of what an open relationship should be.)

If you're not interested in anything beyond friendship but think I'd be a pretty cool person to get to know anyway.

If you are David Bowie.

Please don't IM me if I don't know who you are. I will almost never answer. I prefer messages. Tell me something about yourself.

Please have a picture and a written profile. If you're just some ghost on the internet, I'll ignore you.