Opening sentence acknowledging the difficulty in distilling personality over such an impersonal medium. Second sentence in which the user promises to try their best in said endeavour. Third sentence becomes increasingly informal with self deprecating humour and an exclamation mark! Explanation of motivating factors in life choices. Summary of education. Desire to meet a 'genuine' person while overlooking the fact that nasty people are genuinely nasty. Hopes for the future. Endless list of bands, desiccated and pinned down like insects on a board. Required pledge proudly declaiming one’s 'randomness'. Arbitrary in-joke to endear to similar peers. Remind the audience that one likes ‘hanging out with mates, drinking, socialising LOL’. Finish on a note of optimism. Get out while you can - "Omnes relinquite spes, o vos intrantes".
Hi, my name is David. I graduated last year with a Masters Degree in Creative Writing and now spend my time as a researcher for the UKs largest media organisation. I care about people, books and wasting my time writing epigrams on Facebook. I am continuously looking for ways to distract myself. I think cats are amazing, and if you don't then you're missing out. I have started four sentences now with the word 'I'. I write bad poetry, bad plays and bad novellas and somehow still managed to get a Distinction. For the sake of everyone involved it would be inadvisable for me to publish before thirty. The only thing that stops me worrying constantly about poverty, disease and inequality is back to back Star Trek on Virgin One - my personal opiate. I love to sleep but hardly ever remember my dreams. I recover from all injuries instantly and literally cannot die.