Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


37 San Francisco, CA Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 27–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 9:42am
5′ 9″ (1.76m)
Graduated from university
Science / Engineering
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Kissing is awesome.

Topologically speaking, I am a donut. And so are you.

I fall in love with life all over again on a regular basis. The world is wild, weird and constantly in flux. I'm neither naïve nor jaded. I have experienced the sacred and the profane, the numinous and the goofy. I think they're all the same thing. But for all of that, I am far more likely to ponder than to pontificate, because there's so much more to see than I have already. I think every day gives us opportunities to smash our own assumptions against the rocks of the unknown and find something unexpectedly beautiful in the remains.

I like rock climbing, bicycling, motorcycling, playing music, reading books for hours, having fascinating conversations with switched-on people, doing math, cooking breakfast foods, and petting cats. I am passionate about social justice, and try to subvert race and class privilege, sexism and heteronormativity wherever I find it - with good cheer and compassion whenever I can muster, and with stern resolve when I can't. I don't always succeed at this, or catch everything, but it feels worth trying.

Nerds take note - I'm a wildly unrepentant sapiosexual.

My amazing and wonderful life partner mortalgeek and I have recently (read: a couple years ago) spawned a tiny dictator. She and I are both queer, radical, goth-tinged-punk riot nrrrrds, and the sproglet makes us both make happy sounds and lose lots of sleep.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
To pay the bills and keep the brainmeats supple and lithe, I am a mechanical engineer, focused on energy, newly minted as a PE. To stay sane and keep my heart & soul healthy, I am a musician. I sing, play lots of instruments, and am the bassist for a metal band called Bottom. You can check that out at if that sort of thing interests you.

I bike to work and want to get back into going to the climbing gym more regularly. I've ridden in AIDS Life/Cycle a couple of times and that made me fall in love with distance cycling, but it's been a while since I got out there and did that. Want to go for a ride sometime?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
math, waffles, cuddling, winkling the juicy bits out of complex conceptual problems and talking about them at length, and being unexpectedly surreal.

A quote from VoxExMachina: "phenonate is a bit of a triple threat. He's funny, smart, and hot/musical (Ok, possibly a quadruple threat.) He's also incredibly compassionate and wise, so if you're going to go out with him, just be prepared for that. It can be a little disorienting if you're not used to it, but trust me, you'll like it."
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
depend highly on context, but most often it's my sense of humor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Gravity's Rainbow, The Illuminatus! Trilogy, House of Leaves, the Dark Tower cycle, Anathem, the collected works of Charles Stross, Neal Asher and Iain (M.) Banks, Time on Two Crosses, Invisible Man, the autobiography of Malcolm X, Where the Wild Things Are, The Indispensable Calvin & Hobbes, and so, so many more.

Movies: (there are so many, I am just going to list the ones that come to mind right off)
Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Coraline, Hedwig & the Angry Inch, Shortbus, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, Let the Right One In, the original cut of A Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, But I'm A Cheerleader, Dune, Lawrence of Arabia, Annie, Alien, City of Lost Children, Pan's Labyrinth, The Taqwacores...

Shows: (I really don't watch TV, but this is what gets Netflix't):
Buffy, Firefly, Torchwood, Archer, Doctor Who

Music: (again, seriously short version of a LONG list)
Red Sparowes, Charles Mingus, Dave Brubeck, the Pixies, Primus, Mogwai, Goonies Never Say Die, Veruca Salt, Muse, Massive Attack, Clutch, Radiohead, PJ Harvey, Björk, Sleater-Kinney, Mastodon, High on Fire, Hebosagil, Tool, Team Dresch, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Ray Charles, Stevie Ray Vaughan, REM, Soundgarden, Melvins, the pAper chAse, Buke and Gase, Zoe Keating...

Almost anything from India - rice and daal is the acme of comfort food for me. Homemade from-scratch hash browns. Waffles (sweet or savory (yes, you can do that, it's actually really good)). Crepes. Also, I am a dyed-in-the-wool whisky nerd.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Unexpected moments of joy
Playing music
Intellectual stimulation
The ability to be really, really silly
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
peace, social justice, gender identity and its evolution in the modern world, achieving a sustainable society in both the material and social/ethical spheres, kissing, and how good it feels to finally sneeze after you've been thinking you had to forEVER but can't. quite. do it. (And other such oddities.)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
hanging with friends, out for a show, or occasionally just collapsing at home in a satisfied heap, glad the week is done.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get terribly shy in large groups of people where the majority are people I don't know.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're interested in starting a conversation that might lead to getting together to meet in person and see if we click.