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26 M Palmyra, NJ

My Details

Last Online
Apr 30
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from high school
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm kind of this hermit who likes bad jokes and bad food. I like plaid and rain and sleeping in.

I don't like going out. I like to sit in my apartment and do whatever. Talk or eat or watch Netflix or read. That's when I'm happiest. I used to try to be more out going, but... eh, it's not for me. I love people, but I just want to watch them from a safe distance. I will make fun of them and shake my fist at their errant ways and sit back down and enjoy the peace and quiet I'm used to.
What I’m doing with my life
I work for a website that sells home improvement hardware. Great company. I guess the best description of my job title is... handyman adviser?? People ask me how to fix things and I tell them. Like an advice column, but with droopy windows instead of crippling emotional neglect.
I’m really good at
I like to write! It's my life's passion and I get super excited about it. Look how excited I am! I won't say I'm "really good" at it, but I'm always thinking about storytelling, how it's done, and how I can do it better. Fiction is the greatest anesthetic for a broken soul and a broken society and I wanna know how it works.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love anything written by Roger Zelazny, who is my hero/spirit animal. I also like David Mitchell, George RR Martin--though, I think admitting that is compulsory these days. I'll be "that guy" and say that I liked GRRM before it was cool. Uh, my childhood was forged in the fires of Richard Matheson (RIP), Brian Jacques, and JRR Tolkein. Douchey fantasy.

True Detective was the single greatest television show that has ever existed, period. Breaking Bad was a close second. I think Louie is brilliant. I can watch Seinfeld and Top Gear constantly without stopping, preferably at the same time. How good is Top Gear?? I don't even like cars I just think the hosts are hilarious.

I like the typically MANLY movies. The Good the Bad and the Ugly, Jaws, Kill Bill, Star Wars. Anything that has dudes staring off camera looking stern.

Food? Oh man. Where do I even begin? I'll eat anything that moves. Seriously though, food is my greatest and most favorite vice. Cheese, ice cream... cow products in general I guess. Big fan of cows. Thanks, cows.

I try to listen to as much music as I possibly can. Music is very important to me, but I'm drawing a blank because the music I'm listening to now won't last a week. If you talk to me, though, I'd love to share who I'm into at the moment.
The six things I could never do without
My laptop, my Kindle, Google Drive, Spotify, pizza, and a really nice pair of headphones.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
People, and why they do the things they do.
On a typical Friday night I am
Writing, or arguing with my friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I do not, in fact, know how to moon walk. I'm sorry if this is a dealbreaker.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You want to watch me try not to be more of a doofus as I reply.