A good read:
These are gold:
Loving and Being Loved : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhyfBi-Ad4c
When is One Ready to Settle Down? : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eparlp-8uVo
Oh, and The Right Person: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2HeNz1ROhY :)
I have reached a state in which I love simply being by myself. Enjoying my friends, and life. As such, I'm not in a rush or find it necessary to be with anyone. I'm open to discovery, however, and I love meeting new people. It takes the right kind to move me.
Looking for: Friends, you have to start there - and if you do, you've at least gained a friend. If there is romantic interest, criteria are likely to be an honest and well-developed personality, good looks - signs of great health and general fitness. My requirements are variable, but it must be a balanced equation :) To add to this, I'd love a person who is kind and compassionate, to oneself, but also to others. This is a mandatory requirement I've discovered, if you don't feel you're there yet, I don't think it'd work out. But wish you best of luck on your journey! :)
A more chatty story follows, if you have time for reading. Best of luck with whatever does come your way. (I guarantee a response to readers, hint;)
This is addictive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8HRCacAQ-4
How nerds spell love: http://bit.ly/c3dGWq
I'm in love with the sound of Zoe Keating:
Love, an adventure:
Finding someone that is deeply interesting. That you will enjoy every step of getting to know, is not something trivial. It's sometimes a hard process, and sometimes surprisingly easy. Sometimes it takes effort to find someone you really--really like, if you're not just looking for quick options, because there are plenty, sometimes it just happens by chance with no effort at all.
There are opportunities, but can you really see yourself having a real future with them? Sometimes not, sometimes very much so but you may be mistaken. Do you really know someone, anyone - even yourself? Sure, take the opportunity and have fun, enjoy life, with even something temporary. As long as you really let them know thats all they are. Don't give anyone false hopes, those hurt a lot. However, the quest for the one, the one you see yourself having a glorious - matching future (to some extent) with is never-ending. That is unless you have been lucky and have already paired up with one(s) of your ultimately compatible better halves. Other advice to myself and whoever else wants to share it... never give up, never despair. There are a lot of people that are compatible with you out there and qualify under your requirements.
However everybody comes with a package of negatives, along with all the qualifying positives, make sure to find out what those are; make sure you can love them with their imperfections. If you can't, how do you expect anyone else to?
To ensure you get a reply include "Dandelion" on your subject or message. Proof that you actually care about someone's personality. If you are just messaging me because you only looked at my pics and quick stats I'm simply not interested.
Further thoughts and readings if you've the time - your thoughts/replies will be appreciated and may be added.
Relationships based on passion are volatile. Certainly, passion is definitely enjoyable. We are all sexual and a major part of it is that desire. But it is volatile, and it does not follow rules. You are attracted to who you are attracted to. It's only honest to admit to it. Most cases of cheating are subject to this. Not that I think cheating is 'ok', but I understand why it happens. It's because people are naturally attracted to other people. That said, if you so feel the need to sleep with someone else, have the courage and share that information with your partner *before* you do such a thing. Who knows what will happen, your partner may even be OK with you two taking a break for adventures... If only you had asked. Personally I can be very monogamous and romantic in that sense, but I don't condemn the above. As a note here, I found out about myself that when I'm in a very serious relationship and really love the one I am with I become almost absolutely monogamous and even jealous to my own surprise. I've discovered that after all and despite its allure the polyamorous proposition: loving many people at once, is maybe not for me. It would take too much effort to do, and I want to focus most of my life to creativity, development and philanthropy. What is important is not to break the honesty and trust of the relationship. Sadly a lot of relationships do not begin on honest 'footsteps' and remain off them for the most part. Sure, the allure of the romance and the first get to know you steps is wonderful: but leads to this thing called a positive illusion. A bubble if you will, wherein everything is 'perfect', and where you learn nothing bad or nothing that could be perceived badly about your partner. Not their real thoughts, not their real selves. And I ask - the obvious question begged - is this worth it? Is this all you are after? A glimpse of passion and then burn, torture and all over again?
I'm definitely not into that, I expect of others what I am willing to offer, openness and honesty. What I am looking for is a relationship that is worth it. One that will at least, if things don't work, out leave a strong friendship behind reminding us both that this was not a waste. I don't know everything, I know I may be wrong in many cases, but I'm not afraid to make my thoughts known. To be known, to share myself - to be intimate in also the non-sexual way.
After considering all the above, arranged marriages don't sound that bad (I'm not actually in favor of them, just considering the pros/cons since many societies still go on using them). Sure, often you get a partner you may not like, but you're in a relationship that you know you can fall back on. It's not based on volatile passion, that will go away, and it always does (max 3 years statistically). But if the relationship is strong enough to endure the next stage, passion makes a re-appearance many times over. So given you're lucky (chance and randomness) to find a partner you do like (in more ways than just one), then this arrangement may be better for both. A common question is, but what about when - people change and are not interested in each other anymore? To that I have to respond: people change, yes - all the time, daily even. But what goes wrong in a relationship relates more to the lack of communication: not communicating that change. Which leads to estrangement. You end up with someone that you no longer recognize. But that is only because you either have not been honest about who you are from the start, or you have not been honest about who you became. The solution is simple and obvious.
I was only considering the positives of those relationships to apply to our western-type free and open relationships of the 'new world'. I could go on, but let's save something for vis-a-vis conversations!