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31 / F / Straight / Seeing someone
Her journal posts
Dec 6, 2008
"Today, though, there is no standard scenario for meeting and mating, or even relating. For one thing, men face a situation—and I’m not exaggerating here—new to human history. Never before have men wooed women who are, at least theoretically, their equals—socially, professionally, and sexually.
"By the time men reach their twenties, they have years of experience with women as equal competitors in school, on soccer fields, and even in bed. Small wonder if they initially assume that the women they meet are after the same things they are: financial independence, career success, toned triceps, and sex.
"But then, when an SYM [(single young man)] walks into a bar and sees an attractive woman, it turns out to be nothing like that. The woman may be hoping for a hookup, but she may also be looking for a husband, a co-parent, a sperm donor, a relationship, a threesome, or a temporary place to live. She may want one thing in November and another by Christmas. 'I’ve gone through phases in my life where I bounce between serial monogamy, Very Serious Relationships and extremely casual sex,' writes Megan Carpentier on Jezebel, a popular website for young women. 'I’ve slept next to guys on the first date, had sex on the first date, allowed no more than a cheek kiss, dispensed with the date-concept altogether after kissing the guy on the way to his car, fucked a couple of close friends and, more rarely, slept with a guy I didn’t care if I ever saw again.' Okay, wonders the ordinary guy with only middling psychic powers, which is it tonight?"
While I definitely sympathize with men, I think maybe they'd find the answer if they just asked.
If I do end up marrying, even if I'm the breadwinner, I'd still want my husband to hand money to the waitress from our joint bank account. I think it is sort of ingrained in human nature by now that men like to provide and women look for a provider. So why not find a way to reconcile our traditional roles with our modern-day equality? I believe that the two can be successfully blended-it just takes a bit of compromise and a lot of communication.