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28 M Round Rock, TX

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–34
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:01pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
First thing's first: I hate your Palahniuk books, you aren't going to backpack across Europe or probably even travel at all. You aren't on here looking for "new friends" if you specify to only message you if they are an attractive, single male in good shape and etc etc. (Also, stop being a snob about what music you think is the best. Being snobby about your opinions is just weird). I don't believe a single word of your profile. You may now read mine.

I am one or more of the following things: intelligent, funny, good-looking, batman, always right(you'lll see it and it'll annoy you), a horrible swimmer, other stuff probably, and most of all modest. Perhaps even the MOST modest. I also refuse to prove any of these things. Ever.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Destroying it with a cocktail of liquor, hard drugs, and whale poaching.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing tennis, shuffling cards, being mean to kittens. I'm very logical so I'm very good at seeing through bullshit, and I'm a great listener. Well, more of I'm good at ignoring you but when you get mad at me for not listening I can repeat your last couple of sentences word for word.

Also I'm very good at sex. I am, in fact, the best I've ever had.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You'd really probably have to tell me. Really, tell me, I'll make a pie chart.

(Not really).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Harry Potter, A Song of Ice and Fire are my favorites. Most of the time when I pick up a new book I'm just disappointed and I'll leave it at that. I enjoy shows, music, and food also.

"This opera is as lousy as it is brilliant!" - Robot Devil
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Probably other things. Also , I could do without all of the previous things, especially the first one.
Kung Fu movies.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If energy cannot be created or destroyed....well I'm made of energy. So when I die I guess I DO become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass in the Great Circle of Life. In conclusion, antelopes are now my archenemies and are just waiting for me to die so they can eat me.


In the "looking for" section, women like to use "new friends" or "short term dating" as a synonym for "casual sex." Makes them sound less slutty to themselves. I don't actually spend much time thinking about that, come to think of it.

I wonder if it makes me narcissistic that my profile on a dating website was written for my own amusement rather than constructed in a way to actually attract people?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In jail, or as I like to call it, at home.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I refuse to admit this.

(my answer seems less funny to me since I realized that everyone else seems to refuse to admit the most private thing that they would be willing to admit...which is a logical fallacy.)

Oh! Also that I was proud of myself for a while when I thought I had made masculism up. But, as usual, someone had stolen my idea before I'd had a chance to have/trademark/steal it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I guess you could try, but you may not like me. Or I may not like you. Or I might ignore your message for too long and it will slightly hurt your feelings, so you will send another, meaner message about how you don't like me. Even if you actually do. And the "friends" thing on my profile isn't code for "sex friends," real friends are cool I hear. Though sending a friendly message to a woman on here that I'm not even interested in often seems to get a reaction similar to if I tried to touch her breasts. Also, I'd rather you didn't message me to tell me how Chuck Palahniuk is Jesus/Unicorns/Chocolate Fondue and demanding to know why I don't like him. I know reading those books makes you feel edgy, and you're upset that I don't seem to get the same feeling you get from reading him and then watching something about teen vampire romance, but leave me alone.