I'm you're run-of-the-mill big, bearded, burly guy. I drink too much, smoke too much, and laugh too loud. I'm the guy that gives high-fives way too hard. I'm a bartender so I keep some funky hours.
I love the outdoors. I go hiking when I can, camping too rarely, and don't spend nearly enough time in the water. I go shooting when I can, which is unfortunately not often enough. Maybe you'd like to go sometime?
When I have time I enjoy video games, and I will play Mario Kart at the drop of a hat (Baby Bowser/ Baby Diddy, baby). I'm also a big fan of ridiculously complex board games like Arkham Horror.
One of my photos is a selfie. It's from Halloween 2015 and I am dressed as a Slutty Lumberjack. For some reason I can't caption said photo.
What I’m doing with my life
Slinging drinks and telling stories. I just moved to the Boston area after nearly thirty years in western mass; acclimating to city life has been... Interesting.
I’m really good at
Bad jokes and good (ha!) puns. And hurting myself. Fun fact: there
are only three people upon this green and blue Earth that are more
clumsy than myself. And sometimes people pay me to use power tools!
The first things people usually notice about me
My bald head, my blue eyes, and my inappropriately formal clothing.
And whatever bandages or redneck first-aid items I happen to be
sporting (big fan of paper towels + electrician's tape).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
For books, Sci-Fi and fantasy. I have loved the Wheel of Time and
Song of Ice and Fire series for a long, long time, as well as a lot
of serials. I will never apologize for my love of easy serial
fiction. One of my current addictions is Jim Butcher's Dresden
For movies, Star Wars IV-VI, Indiana Jones, and then mindless
explosion-fests such as Bad Boys (I and II), The Rock, Crank,
Airforce One, and Starship Troopers.
For music, I'm a big fan of classic heavy metal and old school
hip-hop. Ronnie James Dio is Jesus to me. I also love the Strokes,
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, and some pretty random sub-genres of
metal. A note here: metal has too many sub genres and I find that
to be bullshit.
For whatever reason, between May first and the end of October is a
time that I constantly listen to southern rock. Judge me as you
The six things I could never do without
The outdoors, Chinese food (Hangover Jesus), bourbon , hockey, books, coffee. All the basics.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How tired I am of zombies. I'm over zombies. I'm done. I hate the
fad. I hate everyone's "Zombie Apocalypse Plan". I hate the movies.
I hate the games. I hate it all.
Robots are WAY COOLER.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working. Watching other people's awkward first dates. Service people always know what you're doing. Sometimes we make bets.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think in a Spanish accent.
Every night I go to sleep with Taylor Swift playing in my head (my workplace plays only pop music).
You should message me if
If you think you can keep up for a night on the town.
If you will never say awful things like "Can we stop listening to
If you want to waste a Sunday afternoon drinking whisky by the