I figured it's time to seriously write that goddamn thesis. Which means, no more online distraction, disabling the notifications and no more checking in here. I can't get myself to disable my whole profile again. I'm guessing it's because I like myself too much and I enjoy all the things I wrote here too much to let them disappear from the world (that is okcupid), even if it's just for a short amount of time.

(Sollte ich auch mal mit meinem Therapeuten besprechen. Sobald ich mit der Bachelor Arbeit durch bin und einen Therapeuten gefunden habe, weil ja alle sagen, dass man einen Therapeuten braucht und ich will ja nicht, dass sie sich die ganze Zeit Sorgen machen, dass ich therapeutisch nicht ausreichend versorgt bin. Sollte ich auch mal mit meinem Therapeuten besprechen).

Anyway.

I'm gone now. Seriously. No joke! For five months at least! Or at least one. And then I have to see if I missed anything. I know there's so much to miss. Especially people. I miss you already! I mean. All the people everyone is missing out on everyday! Isn't it sad. There's only so many days in a life and compared to the people existing, you will only get to know so few..

ANYWAY.

bye.

----- before may 2013 --------

I like to give out stars and I probably gave you some. Hey, they're stars, I mean, hey, stars! You deserve them anyway, probably.

If you use the app to check out my profile, some things might make a little less sense. If you're not using the app and things still don't make sense, do not worry, you at least tried.

My last breakup hurt me pretty badly. Since then I haven't quite found myself again. I might be more reckless right now, I'm probably a lot more bitter. I hope the summer will lighten up my mood again, until then I try to keep the damage low. If you see me online, I might just be logged in on my phone, I might be talking to old friends I met here years ago, I might use my profile as a constant platform to show, mostly to myself, if I made progress or not and I might browse profiles to find interesting people I won't write to. If I don't reply to your message, it's most likely not because you're old, ugly and too short. But that could be a reason too.

Reducing the things I own to only those things that are desperately needed. Trying to let go of the feeling that I desperately need more than 30 pairs of shoes.

Learning to cook. Better. Thinking about recipes and kitchen secrets I would want to share with my children one day. Postponing the childbearing because of lack of knowledge of kitchen secrets.

Realizing I collected enough secrets but now only have the option to write a book about it, as the man for the childbearing part is gone.

not writing my bachelor thesis.

oh, first girlperson on the dancefloor, nice.

<3, Goldfish, Parov Stelar, Dunkelbunt, La Zaz, Novika, Florence + The Machine, Pnau

There are a couple movies I enjoyed in my life, but movies are short and I'm more of a longterm person. I like seeing things grow and develop. Which is why I like tv shows (and gardening) (but i don't have a garden, so i fall back to shows):

Game of Thrones, Battlestar Galactica, Being Erica, Dexter, Once upon a Time, In Treatment, United States of Tara.

sleep

the iphone i don't own yet, lost, i just bought again, then left at the restaurant today, but it was found by the friendly waitress. Irgendwie schein ich es unterbewußt loswerden zu wollen..

the gym. and a friend to go with me.

singing. everywhere and all the time. without talent.

goals

humor. life's just too absurd to go through without.

if I'm wearing enough to be warm and cosy. If I can wear something on top if it's too cold. If I can wear something on top if it's warm enough. What else I can wear on top regardless of the warm/cold problem.

I enjoy this life, most of the time. I enjoyed most of the jobs I had so far and I'm glad I could see and live in so many different places already. I have friends I adore and parents that I'm more than thankful for. I had good relationships, terrible relationships, long and short ones, broke hearts and had mine broken. I know love and I don't play games, except boardgames maybe, or if you're bored games, or. I'm strong most of the time, but not all of the time.

Also: I'm getting fat.

you want to have babies, now.

because i know someone who's selling.

kidding, don't message me at all.