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pjinpajamas

36 M San Diego, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 19
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Black
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Technology
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid, and might want more
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hey hey!

100% ENFP

So. I am looking for my person. Simple as that. Im originally from LA, but over the last 10 years, lived in NYC for 7 and San Diego for 3. Just moved back from St. Louis MO, where I was for a whole 8 months. (Ha) And why, you ask? I have an 9 year old daughter there who needs her dad in her life. Shes great, so giving up the sun, beach and mountains of San Diego was worth but, but lucky for me, he and her mom wanna move, too - YES!

So, I work[professionally] on the peripherals of the music industry and when I am not working, I am usually out with a few friends--dive-bar hunting/hopping, listening to house music, samba/bassa nova, soul, house and afrobeat; but will probably most likely be at home, catching up on DVR and surfing the web, enjoying political, religious and scientific conversation/debates on FB.

I (or other people) consider myself an unconventional black dude. Think Louis CK's character in LOUIE meets Anthony Bourdain: all wrapped in a black guy... Though I work as an urban sound designer and producer, I dont routinely listen to the urban radio, unless its a part of my work. I do however have my favorites, from A Tribe Called Quest and Common, to Kendrick Lamar and BlackHippy. I choose martial arts(mostly MMA), rollerskating, hiking and bike riding, over baseball/basketball/football; dont ask me a score, because I will probably not know it. NPR is my default radio station. CNN is my default TV station. I was vegetarian for 16 years and mostly still am, but started eating animals off and on a couple years back. I don't know why but I think it was the bacon(?)... I still can't eat meat on a bone(GROSS!); other than that, I totally LOVE food and have no real dietary obligations, just prefer the non-deadly menu options, most times, if theyre available. If not, I wont b*tch about it. Im also not a drinker, smoker, or anything of the sort, though most of my friends are- and I still love them the same. I will however have a glass or 2 of wine with dinner or a cider to lighten up a little. not totally square ;) what else...

Oh, Im a former US Marine, MMA Fighter and I have 2 college degrees. I grew up in the hood, but a true nerd at heart: and I like it that way--best of both worlds. I was both a gangbanger and skateboarder for equal parts of my life and both those experiences in many ways have saved my life. And FTR, Ive also been called "the unassuming Alpha Male" - Id like to believe Im not the type that always has/needs to assert authority, but will step up when needed... I can go on, but probably rambling now. More about me later - your turn... :)

DATING 101

1. Communication is KEY for me. If we exchange numbers, and you are "not a phone girl," become a phone girl. They are cool, but I will not do ALL of my communications through text, as it is impersonal and at some point we would need to actually speak. I mean, If we hit it off, we will have a lot to talk about.

2. If you say you are somehow too 'busy' and do not have a lot of time for dating, do us both a favor and skip me. I have a lot going on myself, but I know that people make time for the people and things they really want in life. This is a dating website. If you don't have time nor energy to date, why are you here?!

3. No games in 2014. KNOW that getting to know someone is a 2-way street. If youre notoriously 'busy' just know Im not gonna keep pursuing you to no avail. If we are talking and you are honestly interested, I shouldnt have to keep contacting you to see if somethings gonna happen. No disrespect, but there are too many options for us to have either of ours time wasted. Im sure you understand...

4. BBW's are beautiful but simply NOT what Im looking for. I feel like sh*t even saying this, but please be HWP. Sorry! /:(
*Just to clarify, I AM a black dude, so meat on your bones is definitely not an issue for me. I mean, who doesn't appreciate a nicely curvy lady? So, I believe thats all the clarification I need...

5. I'm too old for someone who considers themselves a 'Princess,' 'Diva' and/or 'Barbie.' Mutual respect in a MATURE, ADULT relationship doesnt require grown women to act like Disney or reality show characters. I mean, how would you feel if I acted like Optimus Prime, spoke in the voice of Cobra Commander, or attempted to dress like Shredder from the Ninja Turtles in public? Just simply not my speed and I will run from you, quickly. I however do not feel like sh*t saying this, at all.

6. Whats fair is fair, and it seems its only fair for a person to demand/request only the things they can bring to a relationship. If you are demanding/requesting your match have XYZ(ie. a big house, nice car, great career, etc), then you should also already have XYZ to offer your match. Sure, there are bumps and snags along the way, but YOU KNOW what I mean... Fair?

7. IMPORTANT - If you are newly single and looking for a rebound or revenge, secretly still in love with your ex, unrealistically unavailable, or simply just not ready to date, please, don't contact me. I've now talked to more than my fair share of women that aren't ready to move on or forward with their lives.

8. REALLY IMPORTANT - Im an Atheist. Out in the open. No fear, no regrets. I grew up in the church, just no longer how I choose to live my life these days. Most of my friends and family are Christian and they know my heart and accept me, as the only thing that has changed about me is my 'spiritual' belief; or the lack-thereof. I respect all those who give it and wont challenge your beliefs if you dont challenge mine. Ive never had an issue with dating Christian women, so dont create one. Fair is fair. I can truly say this: Im likely no different than any of the other guys on this site that 'claim' they are Christian and dont go to church, nor follow their faith. Sh*t, I still love gospel music and watch Sunday Best on BET. Is that weird? Oh well... ANYWAY, if you think this will be an issue at any point, its probably best we dont start anything... BUT if you have questions, Im an open book. :)

*And NO. "Atheist" does not mean "Satanist," "Devil-worshiper," "Pagan," or anything like that. Besides, I wouldn't have time nor energy for that if it did... Again, if you have questions, just ask.*

If any of these things seem like they will be a problem for you, I'm not sure we would be a match. I am not looking for a quantity of messages, I am looking for quality people.

With ALL that being said, I hope you've enjoyed your stay. You've likely laughed, maybe sneered, definitely cursed and hopefully, you were impressed with my forsakenly long-ass profile. But I wont know unless you write me...

Safe travels. :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
making websites... traveling... eating... mma training... literal ninja/samurai training(no joke - i have swords - seriously - dont laugh)... teaching my little lady what love and respect is... appreciating the little things...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
understanding a situation and articulating the appropriate response. best compliment ive ever received was that I was "emotionally intelligent." im a fixer; a problem solver.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
dunno. i guess, im bigger than i look in pictures. havent thought about it... oh, and that i am addicted to using ellipsis "..."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books: the god delusion, freakenomics, the rule of two -
movies: brazil, contact, coming to america, the game, B2TF II -
shows: the wire, louie, the newsroom, southland, homeland -
music: joao gilberto, fela kuti, juan atkins, ATCQ/common -
food: moto in chicago, il pirata in london, chicklicious in nyc -
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.) my daughter
2.) rent money
3.) oxygen
4.) "..."
5.) passport
6.) the internets
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Thinking about how i will leave my mark... thinking about what to watch first on my DVR... thinking about why I dont dance more, go to the beach more and why I dont keep in touch with friends/family more... thinking about if my punctuation, spelling and grammar are not making me look like a fool... thinking about how my daughter will perceive what love is by my actions... thinking about how I will become the black Anthony Bourdain... thinking about how much money I could save by switching to Geico... thinking about how much answering this question is clearly a waste of time...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
watch Bill Maher on my extremely big-ass tv and hang with the peeps, usually. or, whatever random occasion calls. Maybe a movie premiere? A BBQ? Dunno.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a real, no joke, clinical phobia. TRYPOPHOBIA. Google it at ur own peril.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you can get through the craziness without going "f*ck this guy, he's delusional." lol