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32 San Francisco, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 28–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:05pm
Pansexual, Queer
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Full figured
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Might want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Ok so here's the deal.

Hi! I'm open to non-monogamy too! It's awesome and fun. HOWEVER. I am NOT interested in people with primary partners. I am looking for my OWN primary at this point in my life, and I am not in any way interested in being #2 or 3 or whatever.

That's out of the way...

I'm rad as hell. Like, I am thoughtful, hilarious, kind, talented, have an EXQUISITE taste in music, I'm a great cook, I'm SUPER driven, successful, take-charge, weird, "adventurous" 😏😏, DEFINITELY GGG, curious, and focused.

I have the drive of Leslie Knope, the self-confidence of Donna Meagle, and the sense of humor of April Ludgate.

PLUS I have my own friends, and I am definitely a bit of a loner, so you know, I don't do the "clingy" thing. Not my style.

I'm also fat. So just getting that out there. And I'm also cute as fuck. Like, cute face, cute ass, great hair, super style. I can keep up with the best of them too, I'm in amazing shape (even if YOU can't tell). But you know, I don't try to fool myself or anyone else about who or what I am.

Which brings me to full disclosure time! I had bariatric surgery on August 24, 2015. This means that until early October I'm basically on teeny portions of mushy foods. I also can't drink alcohol at the moment, but will be back on it soon. So I'm basically the incredible shrinking woman, and also a cheap date.

So, in conclusion, I'm fucking awesome. You wanna get to know me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"Relationship Manager"

Buying tickets for an ever-growing list of concerts that I need to find people to attend with me.

Making ENDLESS playlists on Spotify.

Batting my cat away from my dinner plate.

Watching pretty much nothing but sketch comedy, absurdist British shows, and 1960s SpaceBabe films.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm thoughtful as fuck. Like, I'll bake you a cake, knit you a sweater, make you soup when you're sick, make you a mixtape, remember your birthday.. all that shit. It's just who I am.

Ska puns. Dad Jokes. Interrupting conversations to point out dogs.

I'm also really really good at making playlists, and then forcing the whole party to listen to them.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
More changes in hair color than Ramona Flowers

I have over 30 different pairs of glasses in my current prescription.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't think I can really fuck with people who don't have at least some similar tastes as me. Music is so important to me, on so many levels, that commonalities need to be there.

If you'd like to know more about my musical tastes, please check out the following Spotify playlists:

But it comes down to the fact that I'm obsessed with Belle & Sebastian, The New Pornographers, Jose Gonzalez, and The Kings of Convenience.

I enjoy reading existential indie comics from the likes of Ware and Clowes.

I enjoy the films of Richard Ayoade and Taika Waititi.

My sense of humor is largely represented in Comedy Bang Bang's tv show, and "What We Do In The Shadows".

Cooking is one of the 3 things I'm legitimately good at.

Have you read the erotic works of Dr. Chuck Tingle? You should, and get back to me on that.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
chapstick, glasses, doc martens, records, animals, headphones
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
what would tina belcher do?

Could I get my hair to that color?

What is happening in my alternate timelines right now?

Open tunings.

This song would be perfect for this exact moment.

My next playlist

Oh I have the perfect gif response for that!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Alien conspiracy documentaries and chill. Or karaoke, probably.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Type-A in the streets, subby in the sheets.

(i DEFINITELY have a fetlife profile. see if you can find it! just don't be creepy about it.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You want to talk about/watch/listen to/collaborate on music.
-You like sassy, sarcastic fat girls.
-You want to go to a show with me.
-You aren't over Kroll Show ending.
-You're cool with the fact that I am going to look drastically different in about 6-9 months.
-You are thoughtful, compassionate, and an all-around good person.
-You don't currently have a partner? Like, seriously. I'm NOT interested in being a secondary or whatever.