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PlusFiveToInt

34 Palmdale, CA Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:06am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm more of an amateur crastinator, really.

I always read the location and gender right below my username as a sentence instead of a series of separate data points, which makes it sound like Jeff Bridges is telling me where I live is just, like, my opinion.

I wrote the parody of Gilbert and Sullivan's Modern Major General below for use in my profile because I apparently have very few creative outlets in my real life? ...and a guy I know called it "woman repellent" (he actually referenced a very specific part of the woman but I'm far too classy to repeat it here) because he has no appreciation for catchy showtunes. We don't talk anymore for unrelated reasons, but the hurt lives on.

I am the very model of a single guy on OKC
I've dated in the outside world but haven't found the girl for me
I signed up for this website to meet up with women various
In hopes I find a cute one that thinks this profile's hilarious


I pride myself upon my wit, compassion and intelligence
I avoid complicating things; I prefer simple elegance
Though very analytical I prefer acting silly best
As aptly demonstrated here (and don't pretend you're not impressed)


You'll often find me cracking jokes and rarely find me serious
My favorite time of night is when it's so late you're delirious
And so in hopes of finding somebody with whom I'm meant to be
I am the very model of a single guy on OKC
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work for the government. We sent some guys on a pretty long trip back in the late sixties and apparently it's still kind of a big deal. If we both play our cards right one day I might be able to send you a "Wish You Were Here" postcard. From space. Have you ever dated a guy who sent you actual written correspondence from space?
This message brought to you by the U.S. Postal Service.

I can quote lines from the Matrix unironically. Mostly just the "I know kung fu" line. But knowing kung fu also means I can protect you from ninjas. You've never been attacked by ninjas, you say? Neither has anyone else, until the moment they're attacked by ninjas. Have you ever dated a guy that could save you from invisible assassins?
This message brought to you by ancient China.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making you laugh. Which is perfect, because statistically you have written on your profile that you love to laugh. I can make that happen, and often. Have you ever dated a guy that enabled you to do something you love all the time?
You have a great sense of humor. Everybody says so.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been trying out a lot of new colognes lately, so the first thing people notice about me is that I smell good. However, since I try not to bathe myself in it, that's only the first thing they notice if I've somehow walked up behind them undetected. They sniff the air like a startled deer, and cautiously turn around. Surprise!
Sneaky sneaky!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The other night I made "wub wub wub wub wub wub" noises at my friend's dog. She barked at me and tried to gnaw on my face, so I think I can definitively say that German Shepherds do not appreciate dubstep.

If I could see a movie written by Douglas Adams, starring the cast of Monty Python, with a soundtrack collaboration by Bad Religion and Paul Oakenfold at a sushi bar, well that would be just swell.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Ups
Downs
Lefts
Rights
B
A
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why do they make my dish soap smell like bubblegum and taste like dish soap, then act like it's MY fault when I have trust issues?

If our world was two-dimensional, would every tax be a flat tax?

Puns
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drunk with power. Power is kind of a lightweight, though, so I usually have to drag it back home at the end of the night after it makes a series of poor decisions. Just great, power.
Great responsibility usually invites itself, but leaves early to go to bed.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not sure I'll ever actually be over getting told to throw my hands up in the air. I also have no idea if this joke is even still relevant in our constantly-shifting pop culture landscape. I'm not gonna remove it, but look at how self-aware I am!

Sometimes, when nobody is around, I talk to myself in a British accent. I am not from England.

I want to meet my future girlfriend while volunteering in a soup kitchen. Then, when people ask how we met, I can say, "We found love in a homeless place."

I once looked up how to make a quesadilla on the internet because I figured it had to be more complicated than "put cheese inside tortilla, apply fire." It wasn't.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're a velociraptor. I have a thing for clever girls.