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37 Grand Rapids, MI Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:07pm
Open relationship
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Not at all
Doesn’t want kids
Has cats
English, Spanish (Somewhat), Japanese (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Carbon-based bipedal life form seeks same or similar for intellectual discourse and kinky sex.

My personality is tough to quantify, but if you've ever read any Vonnegut, his attitude toward life is very similar to my own.

I'm a skeptic and a freethinker. I consider both sides of every story.

My humor is dry and witty and dry witty. Also kind of absurd. Dry and witty and absurd.

I have my own place unless you count my adorable cat, but she refuses to pay rent, so...

Probably important to mention I do have a girlfriend. If you're interested in having a physical relationship, it would have to be with the both of us. We're rather kinky. BDSM/toys mostly. If that's your cup of tea, then let's just say... You would enjoy yourself. We're both clean as a whistle too. Tested recently. If you'd like to see pictures of her, they are available upon request. But she basically looks like me, being my sister and all. KIDDING! She has a profile here somewhere too.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work in television. I love to vacation. I am crushing Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I love my cat. What else is there?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Spelling, general trivia, movie trivia in particular. I like to think I'm good at acting. I played the lead in several plays, though not lately. Have been thinking of getting back into it again now that my life is firmly on track. Staying cool under pressure.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Right now, probably my hair. It's getting a bit long. Should probably do something about that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Some of my favorite authors...

Chuck Palahniuk. Stephen King), Kurt Vonnegut, Richard Dawkins, anything post-apocalyptic or dystopian. Cormac McCarthy, Hubert Selby Jr., Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, George R. R. Martin, Orwell, Kafka, Aldous Huxley, Vladimir Nabokov.

Breaking Bad is the best television show in history. See also: Game of Thrones, Hannibal, Veep, Louie, 30 Rock, anything Ricky Gervais makes.

A smattering of films I love include One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Midnight Cowboy, Fight Club, Requiem For a Dream, Magnolia, Blue Velvet. I'm a big-time cinephile and could talk about movies for months.

In terms of music, I like what you like. Unless you like modern country, but that's not really music. Seriously though, I love music, but there's way too much of it. I'm starting to think I might not hear it all before I die.

Some of my favorite artists include Salvador Dali, Hieronymus Bosch, Hans Rudi Giger, and Edward Gorey. I have a deep appreciation for anything surreal, which extends into my tastes in other mediums as well.

My favorite comedian was George Carlin and still is.

The best stand-up routine ever, if you can call it that...

"...but he loves you..."
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Six things I'd rather not do without:

My cat.
My friends.
My family.
Sunshine and fresh air.
Books/movies/video games
My shower/tub.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The dichotomy between society and biology. Every human thought, word, and action is informed by a combination of learned behaviors and instinct. I try to bear this in mind when I'm trying to figure out just what the hell is wrong with most people's brains.

Tiger got to hunt,
Bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder, "Why, why, why?"
Tiger got to sleep,
Bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working. Ask me about my Tuesdays.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I own a Hitachi Magic Wand. If you don't know what that is, it's... Let's just say it has nothing to do with Harry Potter.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you feel the slightest inclination. For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: "It might have been!"