...you fully understand that I am here to meet interesting people
to be friends with.
If you enjoy activities that are free, or rather cheap, with
someone that might be a bit odd but is enthusiastically interested
in forming a meaningful and interesting friendship - going on
adventures - and having epic conversations on a variety of topics -
then you should absolutely consider pushing the 'send message'
You should also understand that romance is not currently a part of
my life right now.
It's quite alright. You're probably amazing. Even if that's not the
case, and your personality might be best described as horrifically
special in the worst way possible, I'm guessing you still have your
The basic and rather direct truth is that I cannot afford to date
you (in more than one sense). I do not have a job currently, and am
unlikely to be employed anytime soon. I also have physical health
issues that are significant and would likely be rather annoying to
deal with for any potential partner, especially over a long enough
period of time. These things make it so that I view romantic unity
in the same way that most other people do stories involving
fairies, wizards, and fez-wearing bears that monologue Shakespeare.
I do not say this to be mean, or seek pity, but only to be very
clear and to not create any false impressions or
I'm also very focused on the whole "getting my life together and
figuring out this whole crazy universe" thing. Speaking candidly, I
haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing and it's a question that
needs a bit of answering. I'd love help on this. Input. Data. Long
tea sessions and discussions. Someone to wear safety-goggles with
and run away very quickly when the blue smoke starts making that
buzzing noise. As you might guess though, not a lot of room in
there for flowers and chocolates. I probably used them as a last
minute flak shield.
If for some reason you are interested in me as more than a friend,
well, let's worry about that bridge when we get to it. Know in
advance that I really am just looking for a bestie first and
foremost and you'll have to take the long route to get past that.
For what it's worth, the path is quite pretty, unusual, and full of
mysteries to be solved. There might even be cake.
*Note: Also, the odds that I will send you a message are super
low. You could be an amazing and wonderfully interesting person,
but I'm still probably not going to do it. In other words, lurking
around my profile isn't going to do much. It's up to you to take
the initiative, and while I rarely take the first step I usually do
respond. Think of it like a quest.
...and you got to the end! Congratulations! I know you didn't
cheat and skip or skim your way down here, right? As a reward, have
some comics and a few vaguely life-affirming words:
A Softer World (2)
Hark! A Vagrant
As to those helpful words, well, uh, tomorrow you may meet a tall,
dark, and somewhat handsome stranger. Don't talk to him, as he will
just try to sell you embarrassing 90s compilation LPs. Hooray?
Also, your lucky number is e, and always check anything you're
baking a few minutes before it's supposed to be done.
Words to live by. Words for a generation. Only $9.95.
"People who are isolated interest me, whether they isolate
themselves or have been isolated by circumstances."