Not to tout my own horn (then again I guess that’s what this section is for), but I’m pretty great! Now, all these profiles like to say how they’re so chill and open minded. Sure. Yeah. Whatever. We all know that they’re mostly secret psycho bitches harboring unwavering views about some random viewpoint… like Kangaroo hunting is always wrong… or something. I probably have some of those too. The difference is my views are actually right, Goddammit! (Your Prius isn’t saving the planet! A used 1992 Honda Civic might have… I could go on for hours.) So, yeah don’t interpret that as me not caring about the environment. I want to be alive just as much as the next guy. But I’m really intrigued in understanding an issue as a whole, or at least discovering enough counterpoints to an argument so that I reach a place in which I have almost no clear opinion at all. Anyway, that was a tangent. Moving on.

So, that paragraph was supposed to illustrate how I’m super chill, super open minded, and how uber rational I am (except for one or two of my irrational metaphysical beliefs, meh, They’re not even beliefs but hopes really). I mean; I don’t think it did achieve those three goals. Plus, I know you technically aren’t allowed to fuze two sentences with a pair of commas and “meh.” (Wait, it was a phrase and a complete sentence, whatever.) But who’s a grammar nazi, anyway? Actually, I am and since I own the domain of English grammar I can disregard it at places and times of my choosing.

I’m a pretty ambitious guy. My life consists of work and school, work and school… and work and school. I have a circle of really close friends I make time for and we go drinking and partying and all that normal shit. Blah, there’s more usual mundane stuff. If you’re really that interested, you can message me… I mean it’s where more interesting to hear about it from me.

Is this verbal diarrhea long enough for you, okcupid?

So, unless you’ve been skipping around (bastards!) you may recall my commitment to work and school. I’m studying International Affairs, Political Science, Spanish… and since I’ve had one of those… quirkier academic careers I’m going to be in college for a while unless I think creatively. (Something, which I know is not possible.) Consequently, there may be time for me to minor in something else. Statistics? History? Hm. Maybe!

Oh, and I’d love to quit my job and just work on school but I have to be able to purchase the coffee and booze needed to sustain my mind. (Obviously, if you’re a devout Baptist, we’re going to have some issues. Then again, if you’re a devout Baptist and you are still this interested in my profile than you obviously already have some issues of your own to work through. How novel for you! Good luck!)

Anyway, my goal is to try and explore a career at a think tank or some international non-profit group or some other nebulous international entity that no one quite knows what they do but the employees get to travel a lot!

Well, I’m fluent in sarcasm. And I’m also good at arguing and debating. But if start to lose, I stop being fair and just let the discourse degenerate into mindless unimportance. (Distraction and diversion are the two key elements to winning any argument!)

I’m pretty funny… and I’m great at getting distracted and forgetting people’s names. Awesome sleeper though. But that’s something new! (Former insomniac)

Oh, and I’m great at making coffee and espresso. That’s what 18 months of working at Starbucks will do to you. (I know it’s sick. But some people I know have been there even longer. 9 years?! *gasp!* Poor fools.) And for all of you Dunks fan out there… I can’t help that you’re used to the shitty chicken broth that passes for a coffee at those places. It’s like people who think PBR is good. The key difference there is PBR is good when it’s free. Dunks is still shit.

There was, at least one other thing that I’m good at but I forgot.

Oh, texting. I’m a whiz.

I’ve been told that I smile a lot. And I do. It gets noticed. I’m told it’s very nice. It is.

And despite everything I’ve written, I’m very approachable and people feel very comfortable talking to me because they’re not afraid of being judged. (Why that is I’m not really clear.) When someone comes up to the Starbucks drive-thru and starts talking about their sex life, there has to be some level of comfort. Then again they just may be totes fucked up!

I’m sure people notice other things about me when they first meet me… but it depends on a number of factors, like am I bent over picking my phone up off the street? Obviously, most people want to talk to me after seeing that. That’s just one example. but I didn’t have time to interview everyone I’ve met before writing this. It’s a continuous project though. So, I’ll keep plugging away at it.

I feel like this next section is going to be the confessions of a closet nerd because from about 7th grade up until about last year -- Oh, who am I kidding -- three months ago I read a ridiculous number of Star Wars books. Eventually, I got sick of the derivative writing which became more and more stale and unimaginative that I gave up. Plus, who has time to read for pleasure? I do try and keep up with The Economist. (Hopefully, mom will purchase me that subscription.) I read The New York Times as well, mostly out of internet boredom. (I know. That’s what YouTube is for, I’m just to ADD to make a decision about what videos to watch.) The only really classical work that I remember enjoying was Bleak House by Dickens. Little Dorrit is on my to-read list though.

But yeah, getting back to the nerd factor, I’m a fan of a lot of other fanboy franchises. Lord of the Rings. Star Trek. Batman Begins etc. But I guess Star Trek is cool now, but how could it not be after that awesome new film! Children of Men is one of my favorites too. I have a huge stack of unwatched DVDs. Some of them unopened. So, someone should have a movie night with me.

I’m a big fan of horror movies that are actually scary. 28 Weeks Later and its sequel scare the shit out of me. Love them! The Saw movies are absolute trash. Bud I’d still go and see them with a friend. Thrillers can be fun too. I’ll really watch just about anything, if it’s with company. Romantic comedies typically bore me with Zach and Miri Make a Porno being a notable exception. Also, anything that Aaron Sorkin is gold.

Hm, other shows I’ve been watching… 30 Rock, House, Lost, 24, The Daily Show, Rachel Maddow, and I try once a month to catch up with Grey’s Anatomy. Always fail.

I have to put music and food here too? I love music. I’d be dead without my iPod. Probably the only genres I don’t listen to are country and hard core hip hop. Listen to music all the time. Talk to me about the soundtrack of my life.

I love food. Really, the only things I don’t like are mayonnaise, tartar sauce, olives (black ones are okay), humus and feta cheese. Spicy food is probably my favorite. Huge fan of Indian and Mexican food.

Editors

• Schiff08

- My iPod, but we've discussed that
- My MacBook, so much of my life and what I read and work on is in there. I don't own many things. Clutter upsets me.
- My closest friends. I've been fortunate enough to have a small but potently kind, caring, and intelligent group of friends for the past 3 years or so.
- My car because I love to move about and travel. Wish I had the time and resources to take a road trip across the country. Never traveled past the mid-west. My adventures seem to take me mostly east or south. (Incidentally, the Swedes make the best cars! So take your pretentious German engineering and shove it!)
- The gym in my basement, because my health club blows.
- Why six things? I had trouble finding five! I dunno... chewing gum? That sounds trite after everything else.

I spend a lot of time thinking ahead trying so that I can make lists of what I'm supposed to be doing. Typically, I don't succeed at that. I suck at planning things so I often don't try very hard. So lately, I'm concerned with turning my homework on time.

I people watch a lot. But it's more fun with a friend.

I also try not to, but I spend a bit of time thinking about my next job.

Will I have enough money to get my Saab when my lease is up? Hopefully! Then again, I'm sure I'll travel somewhere and my money will go kaput! Gothenburg, London, or Barcelona are the three places I want to visit. At least one in the next 12 months. Where are my funds going to come from?

I'm probably out grabbing a drink with my friends. Sometimes, we go to a club. But, I'm a poor college student. So, I may be working too.

Going out for or staying in for a movie isn't too uncommon for me either.

Uh... see the above paragraphs I've spent a upsettingly long chunk of my life writing.

If you understand, the point of this site and you found the above profile interesting. Duh! Why is this part even here? What else do you freakin' do on a social networking and dating site!