Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


30 Brooklyn, NY Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 6:17am
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Polish (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was born 500 years ago, on the Highlands of Scotland. Exiled from my clan due to extreme jealousy over my luxurious hair, I then hibernated for nigh on three centuries within the shell of a friendly tortoise. Feasting on his innards to sustain myself, I grew into the massive, statuesque, towering figure of manhood I am today.

I enjoy being vulgar from time to time. I think it's important. Very often? Probably not. Can I still be kind? That's my default. I'm out to prove that vulgarity and manners aren't mutually exclusive.

I find it very important to not have things as sacred. All topics should be able to effortlessly slip from being serious to being a joke to serious again.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"Shoveling shit. Fighting Crime in the form of shit, with a shovel as his only weapon. Putting out fires, but with a shovel, and the fire is made of shit. Going to the moon, if his rocket is a shovel and the moon is a pile of shit to be shoveled." - (another perfect commissioned essay)

For real, I clean animal shit at the zoo. They call it being an animal keeper, but I there's no point in sugar coating it. It's sometimes life-threatening. It lets me make use of my degree in Philosophy. You can get so much good thinking done while doing manual labor. I don't really think I do important work, but i love the work I do.

I'm currently planning out writing a horribly long YA fiction book series that will no doubt be painfully successful. And never see the light of day. My world is huge, my story so short.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Shit shoveling (stop talking about it already. Okay.) , lifting boxes, sleeping, chopping food (but not cooking it), papercraft, forgetting to call people, using things until they fall apart, precision, walking for a long time (not "long walks"), typos, laugh-smithing, singing, not being offended, folding laundry
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hair(not the mohawk, that's not an everyday thing), outdated wide-leg jeans, tight shirts, hoodie, chain wallet.
I.e. no sense of style. None.

Secondary things people notice about me:
My hair smells great.

Something you'll never notice about me:
The pitch of my voice changes depending on the language I'm speaking.

I may smell faintly of hay.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - The Gay Science, Nausea, Flora Segunda, The Stranger, nearly all the Tamora Pierce novels.
Recently, comic books. New Avengers and Runaways come to mind. Nearly all Marvel, no DC, some indie.

Movies - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, End of Evangelion, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Silent Hill, Fight Club, The Shining, Fist of Legend, Drunken Master (1978), MST3K - Gamera

TV - House, Firefly, Adventure Time, Natsume Youjinchou, The Big Bang Theory, Top Gear, Doctor Who, Serial Experiments Lain, Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop, Gurren Lagann, Koi Kaze, Haibane Renmei, Star Trek (TNG+Voyager+DS9), Good Eats, Iron Chef America, Boy Meets World, Freaks and Geeks, Mushi-shi, Metalocalypse, BBC Horizon, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Firefly, FLCL, Torchwood, Soul Eater, Honey & Clover, Downton Abbey, Misfits

Comedy - Eddie Izzard, Doug Stanhope, Louis CK

Music - With select examples of each
Metal (Zao, Shadow)
Jazz (Chet Baker, Stan Getz)
Backpacker Hip-Hop (RJD2, Company Flow)
IDM (Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin)
Powernoise (Terrorfakt, Noisex)
Aggrotech (Grendel, Psyclon Nine)
Trip-Hop (DJ Shadow, DJ Cam)
Ska (Save Ferris, Less Than Jake, Miami Bazooka Head)
Singer/Songwriters (Magda Umer, Shiina Ringo)
Angura-kei (MUCC)
Visual-kei (Malice Mizer, X Japan)
Anime soundtracks (Evangelion, Maria-sama ga Miteru)
Alternative (Cake, Foo Fighters)
Psytrance (Infected Mushroom, Shpongle)
Punk (Anti-Flag, 30 Foot Fall)
J-Punk (STANCE PUNKS, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant)
Mathcore (The Number Twelve Looks Like You, Dillinger Escape Plan)
VGM (Zelda, Katamari Damacy)
Post-Rock (A Silver Mt. Zion, Cinematic Orchestra)

If you're more interested in this aspect of me:
Let it show you how not similar we are.
If that happens to be untrue, you're weird and I want to talk to you.

Video Games - TF2, Silent Hill+2, Zelda (Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess), No More Heroes, Okami, Katamari Damacy, Shadow Hearts: Covenant, Soul Caliber II (GC), Need for Speed Underground 2, Psychonauts, DDR (DDRMAX2 and all older versions), Guitar Hero/Rock Band (any), Pokémon
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
No, let's not do this.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Incest - why is it a cross-cultural taboo? Why do people get grossed out about it? Or better yet, why do they think they should?

Amputees - Will they ever be admitted into the social norm? How far and awesome will prosthesis advance? How soon before we see the first cases of people opting into voluntary amputation for a better bionic body, past simple body modification and into the realm of better functionality?

Rule 34

Destroying Taboos - Hell, I can't find a reason to keep many of them around.

Gender Roles - Hate them. Don't tell me I can't be a house-wife, because sometimes that's just what I am. I'll fold laundry with precise uniformity and scrub all the pots until they gleam.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Realizing it's Sunday night for the rest of the world and no one wants to do anything fun. OH GREAT.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're not totally offended.
You want someone to do something mundane and boring with. This would be spectacular.
You want to play video games, but not alone
You want to watch a things on the box
You want to look at animals

Oh, just message me already.