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38 M Toronto, Ontario, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–45
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:54pm
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
If you look through all my pics, you'll see I'm a shape-shifter.

I am widely considered to be the master of the single entendre.

Looking back, nostalgia is my only regret.

I grew up in a wood shop in the Junction; I've lived most of my adult life in Parkdale. Yes, the wood shop thing is true.

My Dad used to say, "Don't burn your bridges." So I started napalming them.

Then I burned down his wood shop.

I hate the smell of sawdust in the morning, or any other time of day.

I don't want to go back in time, I want to bring time to me.

I'm not always serious.

But seriously, I am willing to meet people just to have fun. But I am looking for a relationship, eventually, but not just with anyone who fits my application requirements. We have to have chemistry, too: we should both have carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen. Or it's just not going to work if one of us is not human.

Now I feel guilty about my chauvinistic human-centric xenophobia as expressed above. Sorry, I'm only human.

I am anti-stalker.

I actually don't have application requirements. I get along with most people who are engaged mentally. You may be happy to meet someone who says things you find insightful and get really excited and want to tell me insightful things. Someone who realizes that I am by far the most modest person in the entire world. Gets irony. Likes analyzing creative ideas using reason, realizing that they function together in spite of what Wordsworth says. Someone who is passionate about art (in the broad sense). Doesn't have unresolved anger problems that get dumped on others. However, I don't mind introspective, unresolved existential anxiety, that's worldly and sexy, and I suspect those who scoff at it have small souls. There, I said it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
writing in my soul ledger

spanking ideas

working on wording


bicycle riding

poking fun at cliches


using my unquiet mind for good, but never evil...unless...


lying about exercise
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
writing insane messages to gals on OKcupid, to narrow down who appreciates my sense of humour

reading body language

opening jars

reading and writing words

feeling sorry for the most despised people

Arguing for fun and knowing that a sure way to lose an argument is to try and win, instead of considering the structure of my opponents arguments and how they relate to my own.


mercurial speech

story telling

sniffing out lies

using ice cream similes to describe genitalia

bemoaning the attenuation of class consciousness (with ice cream metaphors).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my sparkle

or my big lips
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Milan Kundera; Amy Hemple; Byron; Orwell; Houellbecq; Beauvoir; Foucault; The Guilt Emails (By my Mom); Dostoyevsky; Auster; Quine; Saul Bellow; Arendt; Wittgenstein; Lynne Trusse; Spinoza; Ian McEwan; Will Self; Marx (Groucho and his brothers Karl and Engels); Jorge Luis Borges; Umberto Eco; Sartre; Dorothy Parker. Scrooge McDuck comics.

Mike Leigh; Lars Von Trier; Woody; Jon Stewart; Ken Loach; Charlie Kaufman. Tommy Boy.

The Talking Heads, The Deadly Snakes, Louis Armstrong, Leonard Cohen, Etta James, James Brown, Stones, The Smiths, Nick Cave, Nirvana, Lou Reed, The Clash, Miles Davis. And some indie artists, such as Mozart & Bach, Etta James, Jelly Roll Morton, Kid Ory. New Orleans Jazz in general impresses me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Me and five mirrors
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
desire & fantasy as the reality of existence

the concept of a psych disorder


On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Fantasizing about giving a tour of the contemporary world to a famous literary person from history. "So, you see, George, everything you predicted came true...Do you prefer I call you Eric?" "The North part of Korea has become a necocracy? Why didn't I think of that? It's Bigger Bigger Bigger Brother!"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I have little use for my own privacy

Note: a lot of people seem very frustrated by filling out this section, and write dumb things like "not on the internet!" I think it's because they seem to misunderstand the "most" part of the query. Most can be zero. For example, someone might write: "I sometimes don't fold my laundry, and sleep next to it and pretend it's a cuddle buddy." It's not actually private, it's funny. In other words it's a test of your creativity, not your fear of having your privacy violated. Otherwise, leaving it blank is the clever choice. If this sounds abrasive, keep in mind a lad can get punch drunk from reading these cloned profiles.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to hang out.

You want to play in the leaves.

You want to kick the leaves as you walk in the park.

You want to talk about fun ideas and joke around.

You want to ride bicycles.

Your pics resemble you.

You want to go to a used book store.

You are considerate and are aware of people and how they function as more than an extension of yourself.

And/or you noticed that this profile smells like dumplings.