I am widely considered to be the master of the single entendre.
I am also often asked about the picture of me in the satin robe eating a bowl of trail mix. I think this picture explains itself.
Yes, I have an umbrella the colour of rainbow sherbet.
Physical description: Large mammal, 6'2 - 200 lbs; eats bamboo shoots and pizza; powerful hind quarters. Part pack mule, part polar bear, other parts unknown.
I am looking to meet people who are either fun or intellectual/introspective or know how to laugh.
My beliefs are very important to me:
I believe in jazz hands & spirit fingers.
I wish every day was Halloween, and I often behave as if it is.
I don't want to time travel, I want to bring time to me.
Looking back, nostalgia is my only regret.
I grew up in a wood shop in the Junction area in Toronto; I've lived most of my adult life in Parkdale, now I am staying in Mile End/Plateau area a lot in Montreal a lot. I work from home, hence my geographic flexibility.
Yes, the wood shop thing is true.
My Dad used to say, "Don't burn your bridges." So I started napalming them.
Then I burned down his wood shop.
I hate the smell of sawdust in the morning, or any other time of day.
I know, you LOVE the smell of sawdust, but you didn't have to live in it.
Is this too dark?
I am naturally contrarian (inside my head), and I am quietly annoyed by cliches. But maybe it's a blessing in disguise!
Seriously, I'm not always serious.
I am willing to meet people just to have fun. And I've met a lot of people on here who were very fun and up for a good time, but I am also looking for a relationship if the right person comes across my radar. But not just with anyone who fits my application requirements, we have to have chemistry, too: we should both have carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen. Or it's just not going to work if one of us is not human.
Now I feel guilty about my chauvinistic, human-centric xenophobia as expressed above. Sorry, I'm only human.
I am anti-stalker.
I think jealousy is kinky. And that's the only use I have for that emotion.
I actually don't have application requirements (I lied). I get along with most people who are engaged mentally. Looking for someone who wants to tell me insightful things, not about what happened on the Bachelorette. You can enjoy that show, but just know I won't because it makes me feel dirty. But man, how did she not pick Ari!
It would be great if I meet someone who realizes that I am by far the most modest person in the entire world. Gets irony. Likes analyzing creative ideas using reason, realizing that they function together in spite of what that mollycoddled limp-dick Wordsworth says (just kidding, Wordsworh is cool, just not much of a critic). It would be nice if this someone is passionate about narrative art (in the broad sense) and/or ideas. I withdraw from people who have unresolved anger problems that get dumped on others. However, I don't mind introspective, unresolved existential anxiety; that's worldly and sexy, and I suspect those who scoff at it have small souls. There, I said it.
I don't really know many people in Montreal except for a 90 yr old relative I visit frequently. I didn't make her acquaintance until well into my adulthood. She is one of the most interesting people I've ever met, and a far more interesting conversationalist than the people I generally meet who are younger. And most people are younger than her.
Most of the women's profiles I read seem to talk a lot about how active and busy they are. I'm mildly active and sometimes busy, but I'm prone to lounging with a book. If you require someone who runs from the gym to the office to night school and only slows slightly to gulp down a Kale shake, then I'm not for you. You can be like that, but just know I don't drink kale. Although since I came here at the beginning of May I've started running to the top of the mountain, so maybe I should start drinking kale.
Favourite inspirational quote: "My dad was a workaholic, you mentioned work and he got drunk." ~ Rodney Dangerfield