I am widely considered to be the master of the single entendre.
I am also often asked about the picture of me in the satin robe eating a bowl of trail mix. I think this picture explains itself. If you don't understand why I would put up such a silly pic then you will never understand me!
Yes, I have an umbrella the colour of rainbow sherbet.
Physical description: Large mammal, 6'2 - 200 lbs; eats bamboo shoots and pizza; powerful hind quarters. Part pack mule, part polar bear, other parts unknown (possibly homo erectus).
I am looking to meet people who are either fun or intellectual/introspective or know how to laugh.
My beliefs are very important to me:
I believe in jazz hands & spirit fingers.
I wish every day was Halloween, and I often behave as if it is. (See profile pics).
I don't want to time travel, I want to bring time to me.
Looking back, nostalgia is my only regret.
I grew up in a wood shop in the Junction area in Toronto; I've lived most of my adult life in Parkdale, now I am going back and forth from Toronto to Mile End/Plateau area in Montreal a lot. I work from home, hence my geographic flexibility.
Yes, the wood shop thing is true.
My Dad used to say, "Don't burn your bridges." So I started napalming them.
Then I burned down his wood shop.
I hate the smell of sawdust in the morning, or any other time of day.
I know, you LOVE the smell of sawdust, but you didn't have to live in it.
Is this too dark?
I am naturally contrarian (inside my head), and I am quietly annoyed by cliches. But maybe it's a blessing in disguise!
Seriously, I'm not always serious.
I am willing to meet people just to have fun. And I've met a lot of people on here who were very fun and up for a good time, but I am also looking for a relationship if the right person comes across my radar. But not just with anyone who fits my application requirements, we have to have chemistry, too: we should both have carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen. Or it's just not going to work if one of us is not human.
Now I feel guilty about my chauvinistic, human-centric xenophobia as expressed above. Sorry, I'm only human.
I am anti-stalker.
I think jealousy is kinky. And that's the only use I have for that emotion.
It would be great if I meet someone who realizes that I am by far the most modest person in the entire world. Gets irony. Likes analyzing creative ideas using reason, realizing that they function together in spite of what that mollycoddled limp-dick Wordsworth says (just kidding, Wordsworth, you're cool). It would be nice if this someone is passionate about narrative art (in the broad sense) and/or ideas. I withdraw from people who have unresolved anger problems that get dumped on others. However, I don't mind introspective, unresolved existential anxiety; that's worldly and sexy, and I suspect those who scoff at it have small souls. There, I said it.
Most of the women's profiles I read seem to talk a lot about how active and busy they are. I'm mildly active and sometimes busy, but I'm prone to lounging with a book. If you require someone who runs from the gym to the office to night school and only slows slightly to gulp down a Kale shake, then I'm not for you. You can be like that, but just know I don't drink kale.