27 Somerville, MA
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My self-summary
I manage to be both of "absurdity incarnate" and "obsessed with efficiency".

This profile is guaranteed. If it's not amusing, you are entitled to a time refund. Write to The Providers of the Hourglass,
∞ Being Boulevard, Vast Multiverse.

The world is full of treasure and hidden secrets, intangible or tangible alike. I am always seeking these.

Somewhere outside of mainstream and rebellion alike, enjoying existence.
What I’m doing with my life
Among other things, tutoring. I'm also open to something new if it's related to the entrepreneurial and scientific passions I've cultivated as a natural result of my curiosity.

Recently I've been:
Bowling - which makes me think, how DID they set the pins by hand?

Removing water chestnuts from the Mystic River, of which there are a surprising amount. Thanks, Harvard botanist who imported them.

Watching Coen Brothers movies and being amazed I never saw them before. Fargo is the perfect mixture of calm and intense.
Tarantino films are a similar brand of unusual.
I’m really good at
Attempting to be resourceful, either making the most of what I have or acquiring new things. I take pride in silly accomplishments such as recently getting 2,000 plastic forks shipped to me for free. (You'll never know what I did with them.)

Casual pyrotechnics, including accidentally making fireworks. No, it wasn't actually that bad, but the popping noise was unexpected.

Making spicy pulled pork pizza. Did you know the sauce doesn't always have to be plain tomato? That's the future, dudes.
The first things people usually notice about me
For lack of a better term, I flow. Overcoats and scarves when the weather allows, plus fast walking speed, combine into something like a slow blur.

So far I've been hard to faze (unless I'm made to laugh, which thankfully is pretty often) while also not shying away from most to all topics of conversation.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
♫ Reggae, jazz, techno/electronic/stuff without lyrics. All makes for fantastic background music. Try listening to smooth jazz 25-100% faster than usual, even if you're not a big fan. It can be very entertaining.

~ Pasta, pizza, chocolate. Pulled pork sandwiches, cheese-steaks, soft pretzels.

The description-defying Old Spice commercials of the last few years.

Stuart Little, The Phantom Tollbooth, any nonfiction that makes the mundane interesting.
The six things I could never do without
Love, freedom, amusement, knowledge and wisdom, prudence with money/resources, and something I can only put into words as "the amazing feeling of just existing."

Not real:
A bullet that fires guns, a picture of myself from 10 years before I was born, The Deceitful Tea Party from Beyond Reality.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
A world with more corrupted politicians, in the sense of 'software error' instead of 'self-serving and greedy'. Badly programmed presidents would be hilarious, yet unfortunate.

"The failure mode of clever is asshole", a phrase which makes the world a lot more understandable.

"There is time to be lost", initially used in a silly internet video but is actually quite profound. Similarly, wisdom in strange or accidental places.
On a typical Friday night I am
Keanu Reeves.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am extraordinarily anti-bullshit (username is relevant) unless it's deployed to break through other bullshit, like some academic and societal requirements. In general, there are so many things I wish the world would discuss more often instead of forcing outdated methodologies on everyone.

It would be great if I could do a better Nigel Thornberry impression.
I also want to be able to make the static sound generated by old television sets.
You should message me if
You like to explore, whatever that means to you.

If you want to play a randomly generated game of TEXT ADVENTURE™,
I am experienced in generating surrealist landscapes with only a moment's notice.