Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

I am a very laid back person who does not sweat a lot of things. I do have some overly-pretentious goals in life, but I like to pretend that I don't have any. That's just my way of saying I'm probably not going to talk too much about where I'd like to be 10 years from now...I don't really care about that. And you don't care anyway.

As far as other things: I like to read for fun when I have some downtime (which is not all that often). I say read for fun because I read for not-so-much fun at my job (I'm an editor at a medical journal), and that's all the reading I do these days. I like to be outside on nice days. I like sports and I stay in shape; I go to the gym 3-6 times a week. I love life and feel very fortunate about my position in it even though life can sometimes blow. I am not a picky person. I like to go out and have fun or stay in and hang out. In other words, I'm not the type of person who feels a weekend is wasted when I don't do much, but I don't like to sit around and do nothing all the time either. I don't like being bored. I like to joke around about anything and everything. More importantly, I like people who have a sense of humor and can joke around with me. I am very close with my family and have a small group of close friends. We like to sing well-known songs but change the lyrics so that they're funny and more often than not dirty. We also have had the same 15 or so running jokes for the past 20 years. They never, ever get old even if we forgot what we were actually joking about. I sometimes like to discuss historical topics such as the proliferation of fascism in Europe prior to world war II, or the nihilism of early 80's era American underground/punk music. But then I feel like I come off sounding like a pretentious d-bag when discussing these things. So I like to make dirty jokes, watch NASCAR, and laugh about shit that happened 10 years ago with my friends instead, it's more fun.

Overall, I don't take too much seriously and I don't stress the little things. I'm firmly in the "as long as I'm laughing about it later, I'm good" camp. When I need to be serious, I'm serious, it's just not that often. So if you're looking for someone to have shouting matches with at 2:00 a.m., I'm not your guy. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just not what I do. Hopefully this all makes sense to you. I will tell you more about me over coffee or a drink if you'd like...

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

Ripping Fall Out Boy a new one: www.spin.com/articles/fall-out-boy-key-tour-opener

For my day job: I'm an editor at a medical journal (AJKD) when I'm not doing music related things. It pays the bills...and puts me to sleep. I'm happy because I could be doing a lot worse things, but godammit it's boring as hell. I'm giving working in editorial here 3 more years, then I'm doing something else. Maybe truck driving. Depends if I'm still single 3 years from now.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

Making people laugh, or being a jokester in general.

Reading serious work emails like this:

"We received a Safety Notice from Siemen’s regarding potential problems w[ith] a list of their ANGIOSTAR devices. Copies of the notice have been forwarded to Medical Engineering and the Cath Lab."

And then saying something along the lines of: "Haha, she said Siemen's"

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

Some women on this site actually give me their numbers. That must mean I'm a nice enough person.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

Some of the music reviews I wrote:

http://thephoenix.com/Boston/Authors/DAVID-BOFFA/

A feature:

http://www.worcestermagazine.com/content/view/3293/

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

Funny story:

I recently met my 8-year-old godson, his little brother, and 4 other family members for lunch. I asked my Godson what he was going to get, and he said a cheeseburger. I then said "wait, are you going to get a cheese burger, or a cheese booger?" He then said "no, cheese BURGER" and I'd say "cheese booger? That's gross man." then he'd try to correct me over and over and I'd just say "yeah, cheese booger. I heard you." And he and his brother would chuckle.

Two things about this story:

1. I'm 27; they're 8 and 4. And I'm the one calling it a cheese booger.

2. The people involved in this story make up six things I could never do without.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

Jesus. No...Wishing I didn't have 11 fingers...just kidding again. Umm, wishing I could fly. That'd be awsome. When I was a kid, I used to dream I could fly. The dream would always end with me losing the ability to fly, then falling toward my house, falling into my bedroom window, and as soon as I'd crash on my bed, I'd wake up. Isn't that weird? I don't have those dreams anymore. Now I dream about half human-elephants in suits who make the elephant trumpet sound instead of talking...

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

Seriously, just happy to be alive. Possibly at a show, possibly in metrowest visting friends (we're completely out of our party phase in life, so it's usually just a group of dudes sitting around drinking pops, cracking jokes, and reminiscing about high school. Much more fun than it sounds. We're basically grown-up 12-year-olds). Or sleeping.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

Well, you already know about my 11 fingers...I have a birthmark of Jesus's face on my right buttcheek. So if I tell you to kiss my ass, just know that it's more of a backhanded compliment than anything else. (I don't really have any birthmarks.)

I haven't had a girlfriend in 4 years. By choice. But now I'd like to find someone someday soon.

I buy scrubbing bubbles for my bathroom cleaner because of the cartoon bubbles on the can.

I still mow my parents lawn every week. My father has a bad back and can't do it. So I do it. In fact, I do a lot for my parents and sisters because they'd lie down in traffic for me if I asked them to. Sorry if that's lame.

I'm serious about getting into truck driving. I have an application for NETTTS on my desk, just haven't filled it out yet. I love road trips and seeing the country, I would not mind doing this for money.

Umm, what else...I farted and it stinks (I couldn't resist saying something gross. I'm so sorry. Now would be a good time to navigate away from my profile. Not that you can smell over the internet. If my mother was reading this, she would say "that was fresh." Sorry Ma. Speaking of things my mother says: she always used to tell me, when I was sick as a kid, to drink lots of liquids. Not water or juice or anything like that, just liquids. What's up with that? By the way, I didn't actually fart, I'm at work).

This was all a long way if trying to get to the point that I think farts are funny.

Note from my mother: "I never said that when you were sick. Stop being fresh. And stop talking about farts, it's gross!"

You should message me if Propose an edit

You have a million dollars.

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