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34 Tempe, AZ Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–36
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Today – 3:11am
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
6' 1" (1.85m)
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism but it’s not important
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My father had a skin condition which caused him to have odd, scaly skin. I believe it was called "being a giant goddamn lizard."

I like german-asian fusion, cuisine wise. It's a thing. I may have invented it, but it's a thing.

I study German and would like to meet German people or people who speak German or who are interested in German things.

I would like to have a pet echidna.

I am terribly fond of interesting ideas and off-kilter thinking.

I have all of my bones replaced every five years or thirty thousand miles, whichever comes first.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Joking about tragedy in that period commonly known as "too soon."

Planning photoshoots.

considering how "your picture" by camera obscura sounds so very like seventies Leonard Cohen.

Working, of course.

n-of-1 studies on all kinds of BRAIN DRUGS.

Other body-hacking type stuff. Or brain-hacking. In short, I'm slouching toward posthuman michaeldom.

socially experimenting. for instance, i found out that if you change your "looking for" criteria to suggest that you're only interested in casual sex with geriatrics, you may end up encountering strange people.

I do like encountering strange people - but perhaps not exactly that sort of strange.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making self-aggrandizing and difficult-to-substantiate claims about my own talents in matters intellectual, emotional, and sexual when given the option by online forms.

occasionally, subverting expectations.

i make really good pork adobo.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i've got all the usual parts. most of them are synthetic, but they're there.

I have long, flowing rock hair. That's not synthetic, just awesome.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
i'm sure whatever you like is fine. i read more than is probably healthy, love all sorts of music, and enjoy cooking.

i tend toward magical realism. borges, calvino, murakami, and that. franz kafka is my favorite author, and i'm more than a bit fond of lovecraft and philip k. dick.

i like songs and books that people suggest to me.

I'm an indie pop nut. Belle and Sebastian are about perfect.

and shoegaze/dreampop. No joy - wait to pleasure is in heavy rotation. new fauns album is fantastic.

TED talks.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
lately they're all soy sauce or some variation on something fermented in soy sauce.

a good chef's knife is always knife to have.

i'd be lost without my cameras.

*I am on hiatus from food, even soy sauce. Experimenting with Soylent*
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
due to some youthful indiscretions on the part of my dear mother, i am roughly half cephalopod.

the Law, the essence of the societally-engendered inhumane.

Prosthetic souls, electromagnetic angels, what distance means flanked by beauty. What human is, where I am in relation, and where we're both going.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I stay in, reading and writing. Some people might think that's not very exciting. Those aren't my kind of people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
ich moechte ein Eisbaer sein.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
please message me if you speak german and would like to do so with me.

i am confident in your ability to capitalize all of the words that i do not.

If you're not looking for someone or someones to join your weird Tokyo swingers club.

If you don't view "Platonic, please" as a challenge toward your facility with fellatio. though I appreciate the gesture(s).

du moechtest meine brieffreunde werden.

you enjoy creative pursuits and collaboration.

ALSO if we are 90% enemy or higher i would like us to become best friends.

if you're weird and interesting. actually so - not the thing where you can't follow a conversation, reflexively mention monkeys, describe yourself as 'random' and are incredibly tedious, but actually interesting. if you don't know whether you qualify, give it a shot.