FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IFUCK

Got your attention?

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human Faris remaining the same, it would look similar to this: 57 Asians; 21 Europeans; 14 from the Western Hemisphere; 8 Africans; 52 would be female; 48 would be male; 70 would be non-white; 30 would be white; 70 would be non-Christian; 30 would be Christian; 89 would be heterosexual; 11 would be homosexual; 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.; 80 would live in substandard housing; 70 would be unable to read; 50 would suffer from malnutrition; 1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth; 1 would have a college education; 1 would own a computer: When one considers our world from such an incredibly compressed perspective, the need for both tolerance and understanding becomes glaringly apparent.

I have recently been told I have a "FUCK YOU" mentality. Sooooo......

Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak. -Sun Tzu

I am such a Nihilist, I don't believe in Nihilism.

Long time resident to gainesville. Big fan of punk rock and skateboarding. I have a huge problem with authority. I play guitar, have no belief in GOD, and love to cook. i ride a skateboard most days to get around. I try to use my car as least as possible. And since i live downtown everything is within blocks. Soooooo, lucky me! I'm a sous chef, and work at the only five star restaurant in Gainesville or Ocala. I live with my good friends Travis, who is our personal bartender. And Brian, who is the executive chef where i work. Now how's that for a slice of fried gold!

What really grinds my gears:

If you are taller than 5'6 and have the word pixie in your name....you're a fucking idiot.

College kids whose parents buy them everything and give them an allowance that's more than what I make in a month. DICKS!

The Beatles. Tired of them being shoved down my fucking throat by my mother, my friends or that 19 year old college dick that lives across the street and thinks its soooo hip to like the Beatles. FUCK the BEATLES![sorry Blair, doesn't mean we still can't be friends! ;) ]

Questions:

How does any self respecting chef endorse Applebee's?(FUCK you Tyler Florence & Guy Fieri)

Whats the meaning of life??? And no, the answer is not 42!

Why are all the cute girls in Gainesville vegetarian/vegan? WTF?

Why isn't there an option for Satanism under the religion section in My Details???

Trying to take it one day at a time. Also, seeking Knowledge......and its bastard son Truth.

Looking for love in all the wrong places. Pissing people off. video games. Cooking. Painting(graffiti mostly, but i also paint on canvas and different types of medium) Making people laugh. Playing guitar. Offending the FUCK out of people. I used to be good at skateboarding till I broke my leg in my mid 20's. Never was the same after that. Making an ass outta myself. Kicking ass! (seriously) Showing new people to this hell hole the other side of the ville via nature trails, dive bars, low key/killer restaurants, and of course all the creeks, rivers and springs around this hellish swamp.

That I don't put up with any bullshit. And that I have ALOT tattoos.

Books
ummm, not really a big reader. All though I have read all the Harry Potter Books and currently have them all in hard bound first edition.

Other than that my favorite authors are Michael Crichton, Robert Ludlum, Patricia C. Wrede, Tom Clancy, Gayle Lynds, Stephen King, Abby Hoffman.

Movies
royal tennenbaums, kill bill, cannibal the musical, the prestige, equilibrium, Reno 911, super troopers, pineapple express, grandmas boy, thank you for smoking, clerks, anything by wes anderson, 21 jump street, team america, 12 monkeys, the saw saga, hot shots part one and deux, lock stock and two smoking barrels, baseketball, pick of destiny, three amigos, snatch, killing zoe, mystery men, four rooms,28 days later, dark city, gattaca, spaceballs, in bruges, etc.

Shows
south park, weeds, family guy, aqua teen hunger force, Reno 911, tosh.0, American dad, chappelle show, Malcolm in the middle, arrested development, bobs burgers, futurama.

Music
punk rock/ska
Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains, Wingnut Dishwashers Union, NOFX, me first and the gimme gimmes, the duppies, soul coughing, the melvins, mustard plug, lagwagon, the descendants, the VANDALS, for squirrels, subrosa, bloom., fatty teabags, L.T.J., social distortion, suicidal tendentious, minor threat, bouncing souls, ramshackle glory, pat the bunny( if you're into folk punk youtube pat the bunny brooklyn tea party. You will not be disappointed).

classic rock
eagles, steppenwolf, creedance clearwater revival, mamas and the papas, jim croce, jimmy buffet, three dog night, jimi hendrix, reo speedwagon, Electric Light Orchestra, james taylor, simon and garfunkel, crosby stills and nash(FUCK neil young).

rap
mos def, del the funky homosapien, tribe called quest, leaders of the new school, talib kwali, blackstar, busta bust, biz markie, cypress hill,(old cypress hill. Not that lame rock.) Bone thugs, devin the dude, scum of the earth, the robotics.

Jazz
John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Spyro Gyro

And a little emo
alkaline trio, the good life.

Food- anything. As long as it's not TVP! (textured vegetable protein)

My phone...yes, my phone, my guitar, my dog, my son, rain, and beer. In no particular order.

The six I could live without are my ex, Carlos Mencia, my super sweet 16 on MTV, roller bladers, loud obnoxious freshman girls at bars and people who insist on using LMFAO, OMG, TTYL in actual conversation, while they're not on the computer.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how to take over the world! It can't be that hard. I'll die trying.

WatchingTV or hanging out at Mothers Pub.

I have a 6 year old son. Noah.

1.If you want to watch the world burn, whilst roasting marshmallows above the burning bones of the self righteous!
2.You're not afraid to have fun and try something different.
3.If you're not afraid of tattoos and piercings(my gauges are 1 1/8 in).
4.If you can keep up with a smart ass like myself.
5.If YOU have tattoos and piercings.
6.If you just wanna hang out and have a beer and play some guitar.

Ladies, if you are offended by a crass attitude, lots of tattoos, or dark humor, do not contact me. I stopped counting at 25 tattoos. I am a cynical ass. If you are a right wing conservative, please don't contact me. I am an anarchist when it comes to my political views.