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29 M Clarksville, TN

My Details

Last Online
Apr 11
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
A little extra
When drinking
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Capricorn, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from high school
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I invented the moon but forgot to show my work so I never got any credit for it.

I discovered that the lumberjack is the ninja's true and only natural predator.

I caused global warming cause nobody else was chipping in on the electric bill.

"Sometimes the snow comes down in June. Sometimes the sun goes round the moon."- Vanessa Williams... I was Vanessa's astrophysics professor.

PETA will be responsible for the zombie epidemic that will doom us all.

I am titanium, but words still hurt.
What I’m doing with my life
Curing the world of faint puppy asthma. It is a mild epidemic of trivial proportions.

Murdering pandas to cure puppy asthma... Hopefully.
I’m really good at
Traveling back in time to kill Hitler. Unfortunately, I have not mastered how to avoid temporal paradoxes so the world may never know...

Coming up with vivid gibberish to fill a dating profile with.
The first things people usually notice about me
My blue eyes... Oh and the giant vault filled to the brim with gold coins, not to mention, a kick-ass diving board.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I didn't want to delete everything here, so these are sincere likes.

Books: Ender's Game, Dresden Files, Psychopath Test... basically a whole lot of Fantasy Books. I like to read non-fiction if it is associated with Philosophy, Psychology or Marine Biology.

Movies: Goonies, Neverending Story, [Beetlejuice], The Dark Knight, The Intouchables, Wreck-It-Ralph, Willow, Avengers... etc.

Shows: Breaking Bad, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreations, Modern Family, Community, Doctor Who, Sherlock... etc.

Music: Ugh... I am such a nerd when it comes to music. I love Video Game music and remixes. Top 3 real I would say are Cake, Journey and Michael Buble (I'm a sucker for that smooth voiced, ratpack sounding bastard).

Food: ASIA! Vietnamese, Thai, Korean, Japanese, Chinese... You name it. Oh, and most everything else to a smaller degree.
The six things I could never do without
Words, I like those. That's why I created them. I don't know how I ever survived beforehand, but that is the monster that is addiction, I suppose.

A sense of humor

Desire to conquer the known universe. I already control most of the unknown parts. Except for the corner lot that that dick Fred won't give to me.

My kitten blanket

Gills. Can't breath with'em, can't breath without'em. Am I right, ladies!?

Friends and family?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If Gizmo ate after midnight, would he become an asshole gremlin too? Or would he be the same with an acute cute-deficiency.
On a typical Friday night I am
Filling the world with smiles and laughter. By world I mean the small segment that is privileged enough to be exposed to me. Looking at you reader!

How did I know it was Friday you ask? The truth would make your brain explode into four dozen butterflies.

If its not Friday when you read this, you're doing it wrong!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I didn't actually cause global warming... I made it up to impress you. My dad actually caused global warming and I am sick of always living in his UV radiation filled shadow.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 26–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are currently looking for an arch-nemesis. Beware though, my volcanic island fortress has the most up to date death/freeze rays you can find on the market.

If you are interested in friendship or more, let me know. I got bored of bland cookie cutter profiles and decided to go eccentric. I am not quite this bizarre in person.