Hello. Hope you're doing well, all of you. I'm a very happily married man, engaging in one of my current favorite hobbies and looking only for socializing, potential friends/pen-pals, reading journals/blogs, commenting on such or information (books, movies, etc.) on this social networking site/dating site and free blog. 90% of my overall reason for being here is to get or give a good laugh. If I browsed your profile, intentionally or randomly, it's for one of those reasons, or I'm simply returning a viewing of my profile. Anyone, even my most dire enemy, feel absolutely free to view my profile. Please read the following carefully. Have a great day and God bless!

!WARNING! This pseudo- or quasi-profile is full of factualness and facetiousness. The factual information is true. The facetious "information" is humorous and/or not true or maybe something else. It changes all the time, at my whim. In any event, it is all rather silly. Rather very silly. So proceed with caution if you are silly enough to be wary of silliness. Absurdity sneaks in, too, so don't "experience intestinal difficulties" if the combination of silliness and absurdity upsets you. Don't like Monty Python/British humor/humour? Don't bother. Additionally, I'm verbose (by the by, my body type over there should read "humanoid") and it's long (horribly, awfully LONG, LONG, LONG, DEAR-GOD-IN-HEAVEN, IT'S EXCRUTIATINGLY, WHEN WILL IT END?, LONG!!! AND STUPID), so if reading isn't your thing, well...it should be. There, I said it. Not this goofy profile, but good literature.

...........Quincy the Wolf - Internetional Man o' Mystery!............

Had a thought today: Is the Moon mooning us? The Man in the Moon looks nice enough, but he's got a dark side that he never shows. He must've had terrible acne as a kid - look how cratered his face is! Very emotional - always going through new phases. Cheesy behavior.

It gets worse, people, much worse. Brace yourself.

"Confession of our faults is the next thing to innocence." - fortune cookie wisdom from actual cookie

I like to take long, lazy walks in tiny, cramped parks. I enjoy grilling some porkchops...who just took my parking space. Expending long sighs while staring into my sweetie's big, beautiful...locked windows. Running through the clover...as soon as I hear the sirens approaching. Sending her a Valentine's card...from cell block 7G. My favorite movie is the documentary, "How to Unplug Drains". Riveting. Politically, I'm fascinating, much akin to Mike Dukakis, Walter Mondale, H. Ross Perot or Randall "Duke" Cunningham. Romance is important to me, like my pneumatic drill and bit set, or my auger. I'm exceedingly rich - in mesmerizing ideas. Sorry, ladies - happily married. You're devastated, of course, but I'm not even emotionally available to myself.

Sometimes I feel like a human soul trapped inside a homo sapiens' body.

How, o' how, does one do this resume stuff without seeming meglomaniacal? Everyone bemoans this and I've decided that it's impossible, so I hammed it up. WAY up. Having read a jillion profiles, I know that this is a fearful undertaking for most. I think it's because the process is much like public speaking, and that scares everyone. My advice (I know, you don't want it) is to simply go for it. Some will never like you, others always will, so just have some fun.

MAY THE FARCE BEWITCH YOU!!!

Just for fun, my best match currently is 84%/82%/4%% from Salt Lake City. My worst is 0%/0%/90% from Weymouth, UK!!! Yikes - I wonder, if she and I were in the same place and shook hands, would we explode like a matter/anti-matter bomb? A couple of days ago, saw a 44%/44%/44% - freaked me out, which was a ridiculous over-reaction.

Xenophilic, nonplussed, haptic, vexated, viridescent, taciturn, boisterous, philologodaedalic, soporific, sepulturish, jovial, caerulean, piquant - these are all words I pretend to use every day.

My alter ego/fantasy screen name is Ninja_Romeo.

I'm a V.E.G.A.N. (very enlightened guardian and nurturer) and I just devour the heck out of meat. Sometimes, when I'm walking down the road, I simply can't resist tackling a squirrel or helping myself to some fresh roadkill. I especially like the flattened stuff or "traffic pancakes". For all with no sense of humor/humour, I'm kidding. But I do consume animal flesh like my primitive ancestors. Hunter-gatherers rule! And I love all non-pushy vegetarians. Would have gone that way myself except for the memories of a horrifying vegetable attack during my childhood. Even so, I am a strong vegetable's rights advocate.

I was born without a functioning duodenum, but after a mere 117 operations, they were able to fashion me one from the scraps of the previous 116. It squeaks like a loose floorboard every time I swallow.

I'm an odorless, bohemian zygote, deliberate and pensive, never wishing to appear sullen, reckless or feckless. That's for them derned Whigs.

For those of you interested, on Myers-Briggs I test as an INTP/INTJ (I get both results - the most recent was INTJ). My impatient friend tested as an ASAP, whereas my alcoholic uncle brewed up a BYOB. Some online guy logged a W00T. My caterer delivered an RSVP. For my friend the programmer, they calculated the results as GIGO.

I suppose you could label me as a "Jack of all trades, master of none", an intellectual generalist, a professional dilettante, a trivia maven. Several other words or phrases that mean the same exact thing. I know a little-to-much (or a little too much?) about many things, but I'm not a master of anything, really. The closest I come to that would be in Western history (especially ancient), astronomy & general science, English/languages/word origins, mythology, philosophy, religion, certain types of literature, art, politics and "weird stuff", like UFO's/USO's, Nessie/Champ/Ogopogo, Bigfoot/Yeti/Orang Pendek/Skunk ape/Yowie/Yeren, ESP/psychic phenomena, spirits, demons, paranormal, etc. That doesn't mean that I BELIEVE in all that stuff necessarily - just know about it. Now excuse me while I go give Bigfoot his 10:00 backrub.

OK - here's the obligatory "why I'm here" part. Well, I saw an internet ad that read much about taking tests and answering questions - both things I enjoy. I responded and originally wanted to be "quincy_the_ostrich", but it was too long, hence "the_wolf" (it fit). I conversed with Olga (remember Olga?/ good times), but Olga insisted that I at least also pick "meet new friends" in order to join. I acquiesced. Since then, the questions and tests have been plenty and amusing. Is OKC just a meat-market like the overall internet? If so, I need flank steak and some more brains.

Hey - did you hear about the new people meeting and dating service for people who aren't, shall we say, all that swift in the head? It's called "OkStupid". Sgin up fer it TADAY!

I am on an unending quest to show people how great I am (much like Stephen Colbert), so of course, when asked by my dear friend for help with his love life, I had to endure his annoying begging and near frantic, pathetic, self-debasing pleading. Finally, longsufferingly, I agreed to list this mini-profile for him: "Hiya! Well, my name is Ervin Schmeckle. Oh, I just don't know where to start...I'm a big fan of pork rinds. I work with semi-retarded, orphaned weasels. I have a pet peeve against all forms of incest - just don't care for it. My favorite entree is SPAM (Lite, of course). I can detect UFO's with the plate in my head. I prefer Underoos. My favorite color is clear. A good date for me is having one. I favor communism. My hair type is 'none of the above', ha-ha, I'm bald! Tell Quince if U R 4 ME!!!"

Yes. Isn't that, hmmm, interesting? That Erv, he's quite the ... uh ... ahhhh ... CATCH! That's it, he's a catch (the one you throw back).

The other day I was was having a deeply philosophical conversation with a very urbane monkey when suddenly he stopped chattering, adopted a somber look, turned to me and asked, "Wolfy, am I my keeper's brother?" I said, "I don't know, but his mother IS kind of hairy."

Learning to defeat my addictions. One day at a time. So that I can make room for new ones! Then beat them down, too, with an unholy violence.

Thinking maybe a great cure for gambling is gamboling even harder.

Remembering what Jokey the Jaguar says: Only YOU can prevent sorest dires!

Free offer:I'll send you a highly unprofessional, inexpert, just-for-fun poem (written by me) if you request one. Or, send me a topic and, if I can muster one up and it's a nice idea, I'll do it!

Maybe substituting my words in a song that I like (or don't) and then singing it out loud, a LOT, such as with the 80's Country hit by Kathy Mattea, "18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses": (CHORUS) "Eighteen wheels, And a dozen roses, Ten more miles, On his four day run, A few more songs, On the all night radio, And he'll spend the rest of his life, With the one that he loves." Here's my ruining version: "Eighteen spiels, And a dozen poses, Ten more smiles, On this campaign run, Another kiss, On a big fat baby's cheek, And then he'll get elected and do, Whatever he wants."

This is MY way of improving the human condition. We've all got to do our part. Or Prince's "Raspberry Beret": "She made some rasp---berry sorbet, The kind you find at the gro-ce-ry store, uh". Garth Brook's "Shameless": "Well, I'm brainless, As brainless as a man can be, There is no brain inside of me, Not the slightest brain at all".

Seether's "Fake It": (CHORUS) "Good god you're coming up with reasons, Good god you're dragging it out, Good god it's the changing of the seasons, I feel so raped, So follow me down, And just fake it if you're out of direction, Fake it if you don't belong here, Fake it if you feel like infection, Whoa ... you're such a f***ing hypocrite!". My parody: "Good god you got me cluckin' like a chicken, Good god think I'm laying an egg, Good god think I'm sproutin' out some feathers, I feel half baked, Think I'd better sit down, And now bray it like a big toothy donkey, Bark it like you were a dog and, Moo some in the audience's direction, Whoa ... you're such a bitchin' hypnotist!".

Take that, Weird Al.

Taking tests (not from this site) that say my mind is a "highly lateralized double-dominant", i.e., I like to draw Farside-like comics AND get very excited over empirical data, the scientific method and Boolean logic (I mean, who doesn't, right?). Also rainbows and gamma ray bursters. Landscapes and logic. This necessitates that I spend a lot of time painting robots and recalling fond memories in alphabetical order. Supposedly I would have made a good lawyer, too, but I could never have lived with doing what lawyers often do (you know - wearing a cheap suit and putting "Esq." after my name).

Little liars lingering - those cutish icons above are wrong. So much for super nifty algorithms. They just took away my introverted icon, which was accurate, believe it or not. And not spontaenous? What do they think accounts for this entire profile, stolid curmudgeonliness? I'm so spontaneous I'm about to combust!

So what's a guy got to do to get an accurate awards badge/icon array around here, anyway? I'm just going to tell you the ones that I HONESTLY and as OBJECTIVELY as I can think should be up there: all of them that are currently there are pretty good except I'm a bit more spontaneous than they think, musically very eclectic (I got the "less indie" icon after answering ONE question wherein I indicated that I didn't like punk rock). "Less into drugs" should certainly be there (more like "loathes drugs" - I've seen life after life throughout my life made pointless by drug and alcohol addiction). The blood will run thickly my friend over their taking away my "less aggressive" badge. Its sudden reimergence only enrages me further. The rest are all "more" types: creative, dorky (actually nerdy, according to the "Nerd, Geek or Dork?" test), independent, mathematically inclined, verbally inclined, introverted, desiring of love, pure (not claiming sweetness, just don't drink, smoke, etc.), romantic, scientific and well-mannered (can't we all just get along...please?). I read all of the icon descriptions and these are right, by cracky, no matter what "the powers that be" say.

And am I the only one who has to skip a ton of those questions? Does anyone edit those things for actual answerability? They're like this: "Which would you choose? Being eternally damned OR Unending infernal judgement OR I'm not sure OR I never liked school".

I say all this standing in my pants pulled up to my ribs, a white muscle shirt on, with a glass of iced tea in my left hand and my right, fisted hand threateningly waving in front of the monitor. I can be heard mumbling such things as, "These whipper-snapper kids with their computers, their iPads, and Wii-Wii's! All we needed was a scratch pad and some rocks. Wait till I write my Congressman!". After which comes the napping.

Poor, poor creature - you've gotten this far without extreme discomfort setting in, so please feel free to email me if you would like an on-line friend, discussion/debate partner, pen-pal, fellow muse & philosopher, kindred soul thought sharer, an objective opinion, some toast.

Please continue reading for more of the ridiculous.

Filling things out. Hoping. Sumatran rhino dancing. Applying for free stuff. De-linting my dryer. Getting frustrated. Curling (not the sport). Avoiding straight answers. Appearing competent. Picking a fall guy. Spreading the blame. Thinking as if the box doesn't even exist, which it doesn't. Cake decorating. Ephemera.

Passing as normal. I guess I'm one of those "high functioning nerds". A brother-in-law said to me once, "You're weird. I know you're a brainiac, but you get along with normal people. No one knows it till you answer an impossible question off the top of your head." Good or bad? You decide! Hint: it's good.

Jeopardy!, especially Final Jeopardy! - almost always get it. I've won untold millions and millions of imaginary TV dollars over time. Yet I've never tried to test onto the show - I am weird!

The Homeric "D'oh!", the Peter Griffin laugh, the Quagmire "Giggity-giggity", and Hank Hill's "Boy, I tell you what". Impersonations in general (the Arnold, Woody Allen, Ronald Reagan, Katherine Hepburn, Swingblade guy, Scooby-doo, Shaggy). Accents (East coast goombas, Aussie, Brit, etc.). Animal noises. Ever hear roosters crow? I taught them that (my mouth forms a perfect beak).

Quick retorts, witticisms, inciting insightful insights, poetic notions, blank stares (jaw agape), biting realism, romantic idealism, getting it right, complaining, puns, stinging commentary, generous compliments, jokes, stories, pouring concrete, wild guesses, celebrating, straight talk, admitting when I'm wrong, being wrong, objectivity, speaking my mind, missing/getting the point, strategery (a la SNL).

Crosswords.

I'm transparent. Well, translucent. My startling resemblance to several very handsome men. In a word - gazpacho. I'm 1/4 orangutan. My overuse of absurdities? That I am without odor? The kilt?

The huge, multi-hued growth protruding from my eyesocket.

My constant companion and steed, the unicorn Celestrus.

My colors don't match.

I'm an international adventurist and romantic rapscallion, but dead broke. I can only afford a party balloon and I must make my own hot air.

>>>>> Books: The Kiss of the Garlic Eater, How to Spin Gold from Lawn Waste, Shoulda Seen It Comin' - Line-drive Baseball Tragedies (these books don't actually exist, to my knowledge).

====> Real book/literature picks: The Good Book (yes, that's the Bible), The Iliad, The Odyssey, Stranger in a Strange Land, The Republic (Plato), Pilgrim's Progress, Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, The City of God (St. Augustine - nothing to do with the movie!), The Book of the Dun Cow (Walter Wangerin), Watership Down, The Raven (all Poe), Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, The Canterbury Tales, The Faerie Queene (Spenser), 1984, Brave New World, Animal Farm, Of Mice and Men, Beowulf, all "Willy the Shake" (Shakespeare), The Art of War (Sun Tzu), The Red Badge of Courage, The Grapes of Wrath, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, The Stand, Pet Semetary, The Talisman, Fahrenheit 451, Foundation series, Xanth series, The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever series (all Stephen R. Donaldson), all Mark Twain, Ringworld (all Larry Niven), The Meditations (Marcus Aurelius), The History of the Peloponnesian War (Thucydides), Narnia series (all C.S. Lewis), The Amber series (all Roger Zelazny), The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Silmarillion (all JRR Tolkien), The Wheel of Time series (Robert Jordan), History Begins at Sumer, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Rendezvous with Rama series (all Arthur C. Clarke), The Sword of Shanarra series (Terry Brooks).

Movies: Non-documentary - Plan 9 From Outer Space, Howard the Duck (Plan 9 is horridly wonderful; never saw Howard, but it was supposed to be one of the worst ever, too).

====> Real movie picks: Blade Runner, Quo Vadis?, The Ten Commandments, The Blues Brothers, It's a Wonderful Life, Unforgiven, Shane, The Producers, Monty Python movies, Legend, The Fifth Element, Empire of the Sun, Ghandi, any film noir, The Wizard of Oz, Flowers for Algernon, My Friend Tortoro, Spirited Away, The Andromeda Strain, The 300, Terminator series (not the third one - what a stinker), LOTR series, Braveheart, Predator, Dr. Strangelove, A Beautiful Mind, Omega Man, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Frequency, The Children of Men, Groundhog Day, Fargo, Metropolis, The Shawshank Redemption, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, The Elephant Man, Dark City, Citizen Kane, The Planet of the Apes, Ben Hur, Spartacus, Cool Hand Luke, The Godfather I & II, Forbidden Planet, K-Pax, Jacob's Ladder, The Big Lebowski, Grosse Pointe Blank, 8 Heads In A Duffle Bag, Austin Powers series, The Transporter, Jeepers Creepers I & II, Pumpkinhead, This Is Spinal Tap, Waiting For Guffman, The Count of Monte Cristo (Caviezel), The Name of the Rose, LadyHawke, The Thing From Another World (1951), The 13th Warrior, Donnie Darko, The Time Machine (1960), Impostor, Dead Poet's Society, Something Wicked This Way Comes, The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao.

Music: Traditional Greek folk tunes with Klezmer influence, Oingo-Boingo (think I actually would like the folksy stuff, can't name an Oingo-Boingo song).

====> Real music picks: Pink Floyd, Clint Black, 4 Non Blondes, George Strait, Velvet Revolver, Foo Fighters, Switchfoot, Robert Clay, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Vince Gill, Jeff Beck, Alison Krauss, Weird Al Yankovic, Simon & Garfunkel, Garbage, The Imperials, Eric Clapton, Cranberries, Peter Gabriel, The Beatles, Benny Goodman, The Dorks, Enya, Peter Frampton, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Billy Squier, Bare Naked Ladies, Lenny Kravitz, Josh Groban, Andrea Bocelli, Audioslave.

Foods: Plain toast, no butter. Unpoisoned, fresh, in quantity, Tibetan yak wraps. Anything vegetarian, to which I quickly add meat, fowl or fish (this is all true, except plus butter and minus yak - ox is much tastier).

====> Real food picks: Chocolate cake/any cake/cake-cake-cake!, pot roast, Thai spring rolls/all Thai, egg rolls/all Chinese, southern fried chicken/all Southern or Home cooking, avocados, radishes, lasagne/all Italian, nuts, nut butters, tacos/burritos/all Mexican, Tex-Mex, B-B-Q, fresh baked breads, moo shu chicken, moo goo gai pan, biryani, chai, cabbages, tofu, red peppers, cheese, pomegranates, meatloaf/turkey/all Traditional American, French, German - the list is endless!

TV: test pattern, any given knitting/quilting show, Fluffy the Snorksnickle.

====> Real TV picks: Lost, Monk, Rescue Me, Ghosthunters, House, SG1/SGA, any ST version, Battlestar Galactica, NOVA, The Factor, Ancient Discoveries, History's Mysteries, Monster Quest, The Dresden Files, Naked Science, MadTV, Man vs Wild, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, classic Looney Tunes, Futurama, The Simpsons, Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Jack, X-files, Good Eats, Iron Chef, MXC, Jeopardy!.

Art: Gvenorzjj, Flendersplicht, und Tkmenndengham (I hope none of these are actual artists!).

====> Real Art: Rembrandt (duh), Escher, Chagall, Seurat, Klimt, Van Gogh, Vermeer, Velazquez, Dali, Rodin, Gainsborough, all the original Impressionists, all those unknown artists of antiquity + a billion.

Sports: The Phlegm Olympics, toad licking, tae kwon don't.

====> Real sports: The Olympics (actual), volleyball, frisbee (not really a sport, I know), sometimes boxing, muay thai, UFC/MMA, any martial art, some X-treme stuff, Strongest Man/Iron Man contests, diving/swimming, B.A.S.E. jumping, skydiving, scuba.

Marsupial: Tasmanian devil.

Ape: Orangutan.

Ungulate: Horse/zebra tie.

Color: Sandpiper ecru.

Drink: Iced tea.

Time: Quittin'.

Position: Fetal.

Planet: Earth - it's just the best, all livable and everything.

Number: 42.

Wife: Mrs. Q.T. Wolf.

Friend: Best.

Alien: Alien.

List: Grocery.

Monster: So many...Mothman? Mkele Mbembe? Paris Hilton?

International Treaty: Standardization of Weights and Measures.

Mouse: Kangaroo.

Mineral/rock: Gneiss is nice.

Sub-atomic particle: Neutrino or tachyon.

Question: "What, no onions?" and "What kilt dem funkin' Martians? Joims.">>>

Six is such an arbitrary number.

In a heartfelt sense: my spouse & family, my faith & all related items/issues, friends, intellect/learning/education, books/media and hobbies.

In an abstract sense: creativity, thoughtfulness, insight, dedication, elegance and persistence. Bonus: altruism.

In a spiritual sense: God, love, grace, redemption, faith and hope.

In the literal sense: oxygen, DNA, food, shelter, my skeleton, a homeostatic universe.

In the subatomic particle/quantum sense: quarks, hadrons, muons, mesons, axons and the weak nuclear force.

I could easily do without these: extreme makeovers, arbitrary violence, usurious taxation, ambivalence, dismissiveness, incompetence.

Also mean people. They stink.

Pensivity.

Love. Loving. Loving love. Liking loving love. And socks. Dirty socks.

How I so enjoy long walks in the moonlight, where we end up holding hands (down at the morgue, you know - they have a whole pickled hands collection down there).

What I would name my android servant. Chester? Clicker? Alfred? Talking Toaster? The Soul-less Wonder? Nan-Knight? Robo-not? Mechanized freak? Robby? Marvin? Hal? Data? A.I. Guy? Tin Man? July 200 to the 4th (hint: think Robin Williams)? K-9? Arnold? Fembot? Iron Man? Silicon Sally? Man's Replacement (Manny for short)? Andy? You nerds KNOW what I'm talkin' 'bout, baa-bee!

Pretty flowers. And how flowers are plant's sex organs. Georgia O'Keeffe.

Good times, great food, ocean waves, dulcet tunes, setting suns, open vistas, starry skies, finest art, tender kisses, passionate embraces, burning sands, whispering winds, frosty mornings, endless summers, idle notions, poetic plights, timeless tomes, sensuous curves, hearty laughs, deepest eyes. You know, things from the Do-It-Yourself Plumber's Manual.

Fragmentary moments of satiety.

How sandals reveal too much skin for polite society, but no one notices. Sandals - like scandals that nobody c's.

The tragic level of immaturity and heartlessness found within some people: "The most private thing I'm willing to admit here: uh. i am convinced this website is for society's throwaways, ie. socially retarded, nerdy, obese, old, or unattractive people." So why then does this person even have an OKC profile? Attracted to the above, eh?

How that was Zen, but this is Tao.

AMAZING AND WEIRD BUT TRUE FACTS! Things I've learned on OKCupid:

Social networking sites are strictly for dating

Everyone online is super nice, fair, objective and has your best interests at heart

Everyone wants to be your friend and loves to read your profile

There are no such things as cliques, prejudice or malice of thought

Every man 40+ is a "creepy old guy" and a "perv", just by existing! I never knew. My wife, friends and family will be amazed at this stunning revelation

Married people are not allowed on the internet - Federal law

"Stalking" is a good thing AND the worst sin ever committed...at the same time

There exists a Utopia wherein courtesy, fairness and tolerance fall like rain

30 is old

IT WILL BOGGLE YOUR MIND AND ROCK YOUR WORLD!
Or was it rock your mind and boggle your world?

How "El perico dice lo que sabe, pero no sabe lo que dice".

Is another word for polyamory the word matrimany?

Uncoiling from a long week of idle time.

Laughing at egomaniacs.

Wondering when the world is going to explode - or maybe just melt.

Cleaning out that gunky junk that develops under my fingernails.

Shaking my head a lot.

Trashin' Bozos, with extreme prejudice, or maybe putting them in a can.

Contemplating cosmological curiosities.

Wishing I were 18 again. Better yet, 5.

Actually cutting my fingernails.

Milking it for all it's worth.

'Rasslin' a big ol' 'gator.

Missing old friends.

Gittin' 'er done by handing out "Here's your sign" cards to people who might be rednecks.

Having a cow (often on a plate).

Counting the holes in my ceiling tiles. Then, with a start, realizing that I don't have any ceiling tiles. They're just holes.

Scanning the skies for that big, killer asteroid.

Waxing sentimentally.

Sizing up my options. Then weighing them.

"Wishing you were here" - that is, listening to Pink Floyd.

Taking OkCupid tests. Being tested. Testing my limits.

Working on this unending profile.

Winding-up my hand-cranked "bought for Y2K" radio (at least I got it on sale).

I wish that I had a butler.

I have a little crush on Molly from Scrubs.

I wish Segways didn't look so dorky 'cause I'd love to ride around on one.

I fear phobias.

My name is not Quincy, not that I ever really affirmed it to be that. I am also not a wolf in any sense of the word except that I do like to attack creatures and rend their flesh.

You enjoy meaningless responses. You enjoy highly meaningful responses. You have driven a Snowcat over a Himalayan mountain (min. 20,000 ft/6,500 m +). You have no DNA (terrestrial, anyway). You are the greatest human ever to live. You've REALLY seen Bigfoot. You're made of pixie dust. You have buyer's remorse every time you purchase an ostrich. You know the value of pi(e). You wish your head was aluminum. You are born of leprechauns. You grok Spock. You've experienced "fin amor". You're incredibly rich and love to give your money away to strangers. You can't read this. You cannot type. You don't want to respond.

OR

You are one of those lovely, cuddly, sweet, caring, giving people who, at the end of their very long profiles, gently informs the good reader that you almost certainly will not respond to any message under any circumstances, or some derivation thereof, anyway.

AND

Please, please note that I am looking for friends and/or pen-pals ONLY. I REALLY mean it! No sex, no affairs, no secret girlfriends (my wife insists on being opposed to these - go figure) - just on-line friends, male or female, from anywhere on the planet, any age 18 or above. Must be interesting, decent, good-humor/humoured, respectful, at least somewhat intelligent, and literate, un-pushy, tolerant of Protestant Christian beliefs, curious and able to withstand and appreciate strong differences of opinion. I know that I have friends out there whom I've never met. I'm looking for wisdom, insights, great tips, expanding my knowledge, humor, mind-blowing cosmic revelations, great poems, literature, art, ad infinitum. Please enlighten me.

Also, my IM doesn't work, so you must email.

All intellectual property, the entire content of this profile, all journal entrie's contents, all journal comment's contents, all Match question's answers, all email's contents, all contents in responses to emails and all test's scores and results authored by the person with the screen name "quincy_the_wolf" of OKCupid.com are copyrighted by the person known as "quincy_the_wolf" at OKCupid.com. All rights reserved.

NOTE: THE BELOW AWARDS ARE WRONG, THEY'RE SOMEBODY ELSE'S. ONE OF OKCUPID'S ZILLION BUGS. THE 21 I HAD SIMPLY, POOF!, CHANGED ONE DAY TO THESE. ONLY 9 OF THE BELOW ARE ACCURATE AND MINE. "LESS FRIENDLY" AND "MORE COMPETITIVE" ARE NOT MINE.