Bleeding heart ruthless liberal, news junkie, immensely quirky, frequent attendee of live shows, proclaimed fast-talker, purveyor of constant useless and random information, enormously travel buggin', proud sports fan (ask me my favorite teams), offender of overuse of hyperbole (I LITERALLY love it!) unabashedly a goofball, and microbrew, red wine, and Irish whiskey affectionado.

Slinging that solar to make it rain, or more specifically, consultative sales; trying to save this swirling orb by reducing the carbon footprint. But more importantly, I'm trying to make you (yeah, YOU) laugh.

Assembling random dance parties amongst the masses, making the best iTunes playlists your ears have ever had the pleasure of hearing, spending copious amounts of unnecessary time on Wikipedia, watching a plethora of baby animal videos, saying the most profane things imaginable, throwing sharp objects like Ninja stars, correcting your grammar and silently loathing you for it, and of course, living every day like it's Shark Week.

I might possibly, on the off chance, with some luck, on a good day, may able to write well.

I also got dry, sarcastic wit for dayzzzz. Like cotton mouth after many bong rips dry.

"You're Jewish AND Indian? Whaaaaat?!", or my perfectly Greek inspired Adonis-like figure, obviously. But real talk, personality wise it's most likely my positivity and approachability, and aesthetics wise, it's probably kick ass year round, au natural tan, or how I'm rather short.

This section honestly couldn't be more vague. But, I will humor you, OK Cupid.

Favorite books:
To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, Catcher in the Rye, The Alchemist, Midsummer Night's Dream and a Streetcar Named Desire. Basically, anything terribly post-modern, and if it has a long, rambling, nonsensical stream of consciousness, well, that's even better.

Favorite Movies:
I can't say I watch a lot of movies, but I might chalk that up for being a socialist. But anything thought-provoking, unwaveringly witty, or with an obsene amount of song, dance, and jazz hands is right up my alley.

Favorite TV Shows:
Friends, Sex and the City (don't hate me, I have a uterus), Smash, Glee, Grey's Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Mad Men, and Parks and Recreation.

Music:
I'll suffice this with my some of favorite bands--Dave Matthews Band, The Beatles, Bob Marley, Muse, anything classic rock, oldies and all 90s gangsta rap.

Food:
Although having a palate of a 7-year-old, I will try anything once. If I had to eat one thing for the rest of my life, without a doubt it would be sushi. Or Dino Nuggets.

In no particular order...
1. My iPhone
2. The homies and la familia
3. My sweet hipstermatic Ray-Ban frames
4. Good tunes
5. Late nights and early mornings
6. Witty banter

And because seven is my favorite number and breaking OKC law is just so liberating...
7. NY Times

Existentialism. No, really.

Painting the town a deep shade of red and wrecking a decent amount of havoc.

I am a critically acclaimed, award-winning, crowd selling-out shower singer.

Also, every single time, I lick the knife after it's done being used with delicious, gelatinous (creamy, not that chunky shit) peanut butter. There ain't no shame here.

I'm apparently feeling quite for a lack of a better term, "sharey" at the moment--I almost without fail, as much as I try not to, always swallow...my gum.

If you like a chick who mercilessly strives to make people laugh, have fun, and really give a damn about people-I am your girl.

If you be a douche, just as a disclaimer, we're more than likely not going to get along. Be nice, interesting, and unapolegetically highlarious, and we're going to ride off in the sunset together. Or something like that.

Serious bonus points: you think that ninjas are cooler than pirates. And if you think that a stealthy ninja should also swear like a drunk sailor with a penchant for loose women and Caribbean spiced rum, we really might have something going on.

Serious serious bonus points: you're 420 friendly.