Through dating many women I find there are no rules and having expectations or prejudging chemistry through words in a profile or pictures isn’t necessarily going to open you up for finding what you want. Some find you hot and others might not, but going out and meeting someone with the openness and possessiveness to meet a cool person has led me to meeting some pretty amazing lovers and friends.
I have had some say my last written profile was too sexual and yes perhaps at the time I enjoyed the variety of people and found women are much like men after being stuck in a long term marriage or relationship…while others look for that elusive perfect relationship or can only be sexual if they are in a committed relationship.
The slippery slope for the people looking for that soulmate is that pre conceived expectations kind of puts you in a box and sometimes we haven’t found that soulmate within ourselves, which unfortunately leads to repeating the same patterns. I don’t think there is any one wrong or right way to be…each person must find what is right for them.
Down deep we all want to love and to be loved, but we all have barriers or walls built through years of disappointment, fear of not finding love or feelings of inadequacy.
But trying to fix your life or self by having other people love you is an empty place. I like a connection where we can be ourselves and have learned to be in the moment. Someone who has done the work and wants an equal partnership based on natural flow and desire.
Although I would like to find that perfect fit, being open to new experiences and different people has taught me to live in the moment and enjoy the person whether it is a one-time meeting or evolves into a friendship or more.
I have enjoyed the process of meeting and getting to know different kinds of people all searching for that inner happiness, but I’ve found it most certainly starts from within. Even the meetings where mutual desire and chemistry is not there, I have met awesome people and I’ve learned much about myself.
It’s all good and once you stop having expectations or judging a profile from how they answered a question, how they look or what they write.
It’s only after you speak and agree to meet in person do you truly know chemistry or how you will feel with that person. There have been some pretty pleasant surprises over past few years where we both found more attraction in person. I have been told that I am much better looking in person, which is a nice compliment to hear from time to time.
Even situations where I met someone and there wasn’t that wow factor I have enjoyed meeting a cool person. It’s all about having fun and going with the flow, while being who you need to be, without unrealistic expectations of others. It’s all good if you love yourself, are honest with those you meet and open to the unknown.