2013.04.18 - I seem to be an accidental blogger here. Where does chemistry come from? It is hard to define, but I think it is real. It is real in my experience anyway. But why or how it works, I don't know. It is important, on that much I think we all agree. How good are our profiles at predicting chemistry? So-so I would say; oh, I can eliminate the obvious mismatches I suppose, but, for me at least, many promising leads go nowhere despite my best judgement, and what is it that I miss all together, because of a quick decision based on some superficial characteristic?
I very much want to believe that we humans are acting based on free will and that we are making rational choices, but I am increasingly skeptical. It might be that we largely are acting out unconscious urges and desires, and that, after the fact, we are very good at explaining our actions based on our 'reasons'. What do you think?
2013.04.15 - Two things to relate about my so-called life: On the positive side, I have been taking dance lessons. Now it turns out it is not so hard to dance, especially if I keep my expectations pretty modest, but it took a while to get here. Dancing was not a part of my idea of who I am, so some mental stretching was required. It's one small step for a man...
On the other side, I learned last night that a woman I was once engaged to has died. Actually she died a couple of years ago, but I just came across the obit. Rather upsetting- we parted rather badly, back in 1983, and I hadn't heard from or seen her since. I am not very proud of how I acted at the time, and imagined that some day I would be able to at least apologize. Now it seems I am too late. If you are out there Vicky, somewhere, I am sorry, and wish you well.
2012.12.20 - (The so-called end of the world is tomorrow) Well, there's just a few more hours, that's all the time I've got, a few more hours, until...
Well really, who knows. Deep dark confession time- I love girls who wear glasses! Dorothy Parker can jump in a lake. I have always wanted to reach over, slip of your glasses, and say,"Why Miss ___, you are beautiful without your glasses!". Is that too much to ask? Well actually, I really do like the glasses. Teacher fetish I wonder?
2012.12.19 - OK, it is only 2 days until the end of the world, so let's get going! You wanna go out with a big grin on your face, right? My momma used to say that at night all cats are gray, need I say more?
2012.12.08 - I have gotten really lazy and often I just click on the first little image in the "You might like" section over and over. So I am not stalking you, really, it is pretty random. But feel free to write me a note anyway.
Oh, and so many of you are in NYC. I am assuming that, at this point in life it is by choice, and I am just a simple country lad. I suppose I should hide your profiles, but you look so good! What am I to do?
2012.11.05 - Sandy- that bitch storm, was a week ago, and I just got internet back tonight, but still running on a generator. This is why I list A.C. current as one of my favorite things. BTW I have decided I am looking for Myrna Loy. Are you she? (or is it 'Are you her?'. Myrna wasn't an English teacher, she wouldn't care and neither do I.)
2012.09 - I was just thinking about this site, and the questions. I think the questions are a great idea, especially having the ability to comment. I don't tend to pay that much attention to this self-summary part, most people's writing seems too self conscious to be of much value, but the questions bring out a little more.
This is a very patchy profile. If you want to read my good profile, I am Opta1955 on match.com. but in the end it is just words. Think how many unsatisfactory coffee dates you have been on, based on the words, or maybe the hope the words inspired. Not that I have any better answers, words are after all our main tool for communication; except maybe I have become a little better at listening, as I have gotten older. You would have to be willing to at least consider one more coffee date to find out though, no getting around that.
Not that I actually know what I am talking about, but: Back in the old days, we would have lived in much smaller societies, probably somewhat isolated from other groups. Our mothers would have determined who we would marry by the time we were 3 years old, and by the time we were 5 we would know too. Married at 13 or so, grandparents by the time we were 30, and by the time we got to be this age? Dead. Well, not looking for a date anyway. Fast forward.
My late wife used to look out over the landscape of our acquaintances, friends and family, and observe that 'for every freak, there is another freak" (maybe that was just my side of the family?)(or was it Darwin that said that?); sometimes I am afraid that could end up being my byline for internet dating. "I am not an elephant! I am not an animal, I am a human being!"
So here it is, a pleasant morning in the spring of 2012. I have been on match for a while. but thought I would give this venue a try.
I am in the process of re-inventing myself. Boy that sounds pretentious; let me say instead that I am currently unemployed. Yes, that is better. I used to do IT related things, but it was quite tiresome and I don't particularly miss it. I think instead I will pursue a new career as a starving artist.
And now another new morning- cloudy this time, but that is fine. I suppose I should be more to the point about all this- Some days I know what to say about myself, other times I don't. I was in IT for many years, loved the technical minutiae, thought there was a real possibility for art and aesthetics in computer programming, but I never much liked the business aspect of things. Impractical I guess.
My last IT job was in the financial world, and I don't miss it. Since then I have been working on home projects, studying graphic design, renovating, dreaming. My midlife crisis I suppose, but it hasn't felt much like a crisis really.
I have found relationships to be complicated. Perhaps I am a better friend than a lover? I would like to think I can do this again, that I haven't missed some critical tide and will be forever on the shore, never at sea.
I like the truth, I would like to look in your eyes and say what is on my mind, and hear the same from you. I am not wealthy, probably will never be wealthy, I am not motivated much by that these days. I just want to be in the now, feel & see & touch what is here today, no longer putting life off for another day.