Ads all over this damn page. So according to them I am a new teenager. Great! It's Friday night and I am waiting for my boyfriend to get off of work and come on over. He is awesome and frickin fun!

So yeah I have a boyfriend. I would like to thank OKCupid and alcohol. For without both it would have never happened.

Thanks guys!

YAY! I feel happy to have someone I can be silly with again!

So a really awesome chick and her husbitch are moving to Seattle and so they are going to have the last get together. In previous years I always had my ex at my side so it is going to be interesting to go alone.

The theme is a luau and so a grass skirt and a coconut bra has to happen. I would like to make one not sure how time consuming that would be. It would be more awesome to put a squirter in one boob that would shoot out coconut milk. That would of course take more time. Sure as heck would be worth it though.

Ah damn one last time to hang out with two awesome people and their totally cool house.

I feel sad.

I blame it on the heat. There is a guy that I wish had his nuts stuck to my thigh but he needs to call first. *Wink, wink, nudge, nudge* 

It's hot! That's all I would like to say about the weather but really I could just go on about how much I hate the heat. It's 12:30 at night and the weather just made it to 77degrees. Thankfully with the help of my two trusty fans I too may find sleep.

With my best buddy forever and my old buddy forever away on vacation I have found an old friend named Boredom. I hate boredom as much as heat. Both imposing assholes. The good thing about them being away? I can keep a cleaner place!I might even draw a picture!

My stay cool in this heat plan? The gym!

Or is anyone down for a water balloon fight?

A brilliant day to lolly gag about and just be happy sitting quietly in the sun accompanied by a cool breeze. All day long there was no pressure and it felt wonderful.

I put my toes in the grass at Laurelhurst park and sat with my bike watching people play frisbee as I drew pictures in a notepad. There were a lot of young lovers in the park which has inspired me to write silly peoms for them.

What a beautiful thing to watch when two people openly adore each other.

So the files are on the damn phone but the player does not even see it. I think I am done tinkering with it and time to read. Sons a gun YO!

A man looks at me with a cold stare and repeats "The Devil has you!" Growing up with a Mother that was manic I could see her in his face again. As always I calmed myself down pretending I was a heartbeat. Hoping he would see past me at another person. "A penny!" He shouted at the top of his lungs "A whole freaking penny! I hate pennies! What am I going to do with pennies?" He danced in a daze around my table only to fall onto the concrete with eyes fixed on the clouds in the sky "I see a bunny" His finger points at the cloud "I see a dolphin" He says softly. I know in a moment he is bound to erupt. "But I don't see a fucking penny!" People scurry or giggle at the man. He is at my feet rolling around. He gets up and walks over to an older woman "Excuse me ma'am I am lost and need some money to find my way. Can you spare anything?" She nods a no and hugs her purse. "Fuck! Damn and fuck! Bitch!"

When I get up to leave I put a dollar under a small pebble. I hurry but he see's I have gone. As I round the corner I hear a "Thank you! Cunt!" I hope he found the dollar.

Driving me crazy! Is this what menopause is going to feel like?

Today I biked to the grocery store in the mid morning. I almost was hit by a ups truck. The ride back was semi peaceful though drivers in this blessed city don't know how or just don't like to use their turn signals. Use your signals everybody! That includes hand signals you biker assholes!

Sorry, sorry everyone it’s just the heat talking….. It’s Ok you can come closer…. Yeah closer, get all cozy like. Mother F*(%&* do you have to sit that close! It’s hot! Move away. Jesus, get off my nuts YO!

So all day long I have been running into my little old neighbor. He lives a floor above me and the guy sure likes to talk. He is the kind of older man that starts to giggle mid sentence but nothing was really funny. I am not sure why he does that. I think most little old men laugh for no reason. He is telling me the same story he always does about how he was hurt by a doctor who gave him a shot in a nerve. He recalls the moments acting them out as if it was just happening. You can’t say “Bye see you later” because for him there is no later. He says “Well I might be dead the next time you see me.” So you stand there and listen to the pancake house stories again and watch as he loads an imaginary dishwasher and wipes the imaginary sweat from his brow. You stand there and listen because he also blocks the way to the stairs.

Then he tells you about when he was your age. “Girls never looked at me; girls don’t pay attention to a short man with nothing to give but his heart.” He always tells me to remember that because one day I might find myself wanting to be loved and I may have missed out because I did not look down. He comes to about my nose… So look down ladies! Prince charming might be under your nose!

I already have a few things to make coffee with but my heart say's "Buy an espresso machine!" Today I have been looking around for a decent quality machine below $600. Though I have found a few that are neat I have not found one that did not use friggin push buttons for every function. I don't want a machine that takes pods, I prefer to tamp. I don't want a machine that automatically steams my milk to it's desired tempreture. I want a real machine. More mechanical than computerized! An old italian machine is nice but really takes up a lot of space. :) Otherwise I would want one <3

OK PMS monster needs to lay back down. But if you have an awesome machine I would love to hear about it. If you have pictures of the shots I would love to see them!